Maternity vs paternity

[Maternity101]

Name change for this in case it's outing!

My workplace recently doubled the paternity leave policy from 6 weeks to 12 weeks full pay. Clearly that's wonderful for men and I'm pleased they'll be able to spend so much time with their newborn.

No change in maternity policy which is 26 weeks full pay so appreciate also on the better side compared to other companies.

Looking it up I can see lots of companies have started increasing paternity leave and in some cases paternity and maternity leave are the same! I fully appreciate the 2 weeks a lot of men get is stingy but I also am surprised that men's benefits are increasing so much with no change at all for women.

The woman has to physically carry and make the baby - often with a lot of complications. By the end many women struggle to work and opt to start maternity leave early (getting less time with the baby). Then the woman has to somehow get the baby out of her - this is often a big ordeal, involving surgery, trauma etc. Then the woman might be breastfeeding (the NHS recommends 6 months). Therefore, no matter the intention the woman will always be the primary care giver & more likely to be impacted by sleep deprivation etc if breastfeeding.

I understand not all women breast feed for lots of reasons but let's put that aside for now as not the point of the thread!

I can see there are all sorts of reasons why men and families would benefit from increased paternity leave too. More support & bonding etc.

However, I can't understand why men are being given so much time off when compared with women who are literally giving up their bodies to make the baby!

AIBU? It feels like I'm the only person who thinks this way?

You’re gathering comments from various women and mashing them all together. It’s a really disingenuous picture. No single individual thinks all of the above is true.

When women do go back to work, they still manage to work and put the baby first and know what they need for nursery and later school. This hasn't come about as a result of mat.leave it's because they are not inherently selfish.

you've only met shit men then. My DH has been brilliant. 18 months of parental leave and he and the DCs have a very good bond. Always have had. (but then we split everything between us, and always have done)

i hope you never ever moan about women missing out on opportunities because of taking maternity leave then.

Women who share their leave and then have the DH at home at the same time are enabling the twats who only want a long holiday. When they need the father to be at home because they need the support, that is a different matter.

One of my male colleagues took a year of the parental leave, when his wife had been off for a year. And so many of the other men (all fathers) said "oh i wouldn't do that it will hamper my career" - absolute twattery as i pointed out to them.

My company has generous paid maternity and paternity leave. We equalised the pay for fathers not just to encourage them to take time with their children but also to help remove at least some unconscious bias against women. If men take the same time off as women and aren’t discouraged from doing so through lack of pay it will change attitudes about not recruiting/promoting women of a certain age. I know it shouldn’t happen but I am yet to believe it doesn’t, not where I work but in my profession generally

I wouldn't moan about that and tbf that hasn't been my experience.

I have found that your 30s (for me) have been different as you can't really change jobs due to needing to have worked somewhere for long enough for the mat leave policy. So I guess there has been a career shift in that way.

I have been fortunate not to be impacted in terms of getting jobs, promotions etc. Not saying it doesn't happen but the bigger firms seem quite good at not discriminating (from my experience).

“…feel like women are getting the raw deal as the one doing all the growing & birthing!!“

You could always choose not to have children.