To not want toys brought into the lounge?

[ohnononofenton]

So in context, our downstairs area is all open plan. There’s a smallish lounge, a dining room and then an orangery. The children’s toys and games are in the orangery and their bedrooms.

They both but especially my five year old keep bringing them into the lounge. I hate it. It’s mostly because the lounge is on the small side so quickly gets full, toys get trampled on, end up under the sofa and the TV unit. I end up skidding on toy cars and parts of tool boxes all the time.

I am trying to be quite firm about keeping toys in the orangery or bedrooms. Or is this just too uptight? It’s an ongoing battle keeping the house fairly tidy and I don’t do a bad job but it is a lot of work.

I live in a town house so open plan downstairs, the kids have a playroom, living room above and then a big bedroom each. I solved this problem by just having set toys in the living room and rotating occasionally because of course they are going to want to play in there

This is giving me flashbacks to a lovely former colleague who invited several of us to view her new orangery. We all arrived to be shown into the room which did look much like a conservatory to me. Maybe there were subtle differences that I wasn’t aware of? The walls were all painted a brilliant white, all the furniture was white with a white rug on the floor. I was terrified the whole time I was there that I was going to spill my drink or leave a mark on something. Anyway embrace the mess @ohnononofenton they are only little for such a short time. I miss those days.

I'm sorry to continue this theme - but day to day do you call it the 'orangery'?

DH shouting from upstairs - ''love, where's my glasses?''

OP yells - ''in the bloody orangery where you always leave 'em!''

🤣
sorry OP

My 2 had a box each. Small bits of tat all got chucked into these at the end of the day or after playing. Big toys stayed in the lounge in the corner or in the trunk. Stuff stayed there till next time.

Took a few minutes to tidy up.

I've never known anyone who had a playroom (and I'm guessing this is what you were hoping your orangerie would be) where the kids wanted to sit, alone, playing, while mum or dad were in the kitchen/lounge/dining room. Sounds very civilised but it's an impossible dream. They want to play next to you.

Best hope of reducing the mess is to have toy shelves/cupboards/drawers [note, NEVER a toy chest] in the rooms where adults spend most of the time. They get out one set of toys at a time and have to put that set away before getting out the next lot. Then before some evening TV, it's TIDY UP TIME - which involves you helping I'm afraid. But they get better - especially if the rule is TV goes on at eg. 6.00 or once the toys are away, whichever comes first.

I’m still laughing at “Homemade Jaffa cakes” ……………..🤣🤣🤣

Or you could call it an orangery,vwhich is what it is, and not try to be a smartarse?

How old are the children? I think it's completely normal because they just want to play where you are. We have a playroom, but when they are little they only want to play in that room if I'm in there generally, and since I obviously have tospend a lot of time in the kitchen, they often bring toys to the family room attached to the kitchen to be where I am. I try and get them to put the toys away when they are finished, but often it's me doing it or we have regular times where we all tidy up (usually impromptu after I've stepped on a Lego or something)

Firstly what the hell is an orangery. Secondly you share a home with your children so obviously it will look like children live there. You should see the absolute state of my living room currently but my kids are having fun and it will be tidied away before bed and its better then them being shut in a seperate room alone all day.

I think you are being unreasonable, children like to play and they like to play with others in their family and be part of what is happening in the household. Restricting their play to their bedrooms and conservatory is setting them apart. When they come into the living room what are they supposed to do? Children don't tend to sit and chat
If you have children you have to accept that your house won't always be tidy.g

We’ve always kept toys out of the living room area. They belong in the bedroom and that’s where they stay.

Smart arse ! Rather that then pretentious ...

YABU, it’s their home too. My aunt was like this, the lounge was meant for adults and kept pristine at all times. Her DC are very different with their own children.

My DC are 8,6 and 4 and tidying up can take longer with them, so I started storing all their toys similar to nursery do (dinosaurs one box, cars another, Barbie’s another, lego another, craft stuff all in a box next to the table etc) and it made tidying up much quicker because they have to tidy as they go, so if they want the puzzle box out but they already have lego out they have to pick it up first (I do help though). Plus we had a storage cupboard built in an alcove and put all messy stuff or small piece stuff at the top so they have to ask for it so we can say ‘okay, but we need to tidy this mess first’. Then at the end of the day we quickly put things back in the boxes and I put Danny go/floor is lava/ a brain break thing on YouTube for them all to do so I can do a quickly put the boxes back and put anything back they’ve brought downstairs from their rooms. It works well, following the sort of routine they were used to at nursery and school meant they were more compliant and it’s all tided before bedtime and things don’t get lost as often.

We had a friend like that and there was a sofa they wouldn’t let the kids on…going to their house was a nightmare.

@Laiste I got a bit hung-up on "orangery" too! Had to look up the term. 😵‍💫 I thought, greenhouse? 🤔
I've settled on sun room, ie a glass enclosed porch. 💁‍♀️

You have an orangery in a small house? So you mean sunroom ? Conservatory?

Op, I know what an orangery is; it has a proper roof and also comes under extension territory. I also know what you mean about the toys. My dcs keep them in their room and being down what they're playing with, but they then have to go away afterwards. We have an ikea cube that stores some in downstairs, so I find this handy too! I hate them all over floor, so cannot live that way and it makes difficult to vacuum and keep the floors clean!

Is it the DCs home or do they just visit?

If it’s their home (your kids, step kids etc) then they should be allowed their toys in whatever room they want.

You may need to spend 10mins extra tidying up at the end of the day but so what.
I’d much rather my kids feel comfortable in their own home.

I remember this phase well. It drove me a bit mad too. I was like a stuck record, squawking “You’ll lose the bits!” at them all the time, and trying to keep on top of small parts.

All you can do is do the best you can. Sweep the tidal wave of toys and bits and pieces back into the room of your choice at the end of each day. Keep on at them about tidying; don’t give up. But accept that some bits will get lost, and resign yourself to that, and the inevitable tears.

Before you know it, they’ll have moved on from toys, and you’re looking at Mr Mole who’s been chucked in the charity bag pile in favour of video games / nail varnish / GCSE folders, with a sad wave of nostalgia, and wishing they’d come out of their bedrooms to join you in the sitting room.

Keep on keeping on, this too shall pass blah blah blah!

Oh silly me!
I thought a bedroom with a bed is for sleeping in!!

Got to agree with this, banishing kids off to a play room doesn't work ime. They want to be in the (emotional) warmth of the centre of the home, where they have the connection to their parents, where they live. If you are in the play room with them they are unlikely to bring the toys outside it - where are you when you expect them to be in the playroom?

It is your job to teach them to care for their toys and to tidy up after themselves.

If pieces of puzzles get lost put the puzzles out of reach and only allow them to have then when other toys are tidied up and they are going to do them, and they put them away after they are done before getting other toys.

Do you have adequate storage downstairs for maybe the toys with small pieces? So that you can teach them to collect up each piece and put it away complete?

Their toys will get smaller as the dc get older, but try not to think of it as an inconvenience.

Are they too old for the Tee and Mo tidying video?

Ahhhh, well this is where the basket plan comes into its own as a lesson in itself.

If it's on the floor it goes in the basket and is potentially lost to the Big Pile of Toys. If you want it kept safe/handy/pristine it's easy - don't just leave it on the floor.

Are you my DH? “No toys in the front room…”
Oh do fuck off! I love having toys about, I wanted a child for so long and the toy stage not going to last. Why can’t they play wherever as long as stuff gets tided up?

Those poor kids 💔

I can’t imagine having a home that my DC didn’t feel welcome/comfortable in.