To not want toys brought into the lounge?

[ohnononofenton]

So in context, our downstairs area is all open plan. There’s a smallish lounge, a dining room and then an orangery. The children’s toys and games are in the orangery and their bedrooms.

They both but especially my five year old keep bringing them into the lounge. I hate it. It’s mostly because the lounge is on the small side so quickly gets full, toys get trampled on, end up under the sofa and the TV unit. I end up skidding on toy cars and parts of tool boxes all the time.

I am trying to be quite firm about keeping toys in the orangery or bedrooms. Or is this just too uptight? It’s an ongoing battle keeping the house fairly tidy and I don’t do a bad job but it is a lot of work.

So your DS has a choice -
learn to tidy or
not be allowed to play in the lounge

when your DS is an adult, which of these choices would you rather he remember?

i grew up not being allowed to play in the lounge. My parents spent a lot of time in there. It’s a sad childhood feeling unwelcome in the space your parents like to spend their time.

Because they want to play in the main area of the house where mummy and daddy are, lol.

Turning the orangery into a family/day room and using the living room in the evenings as an "adults" space might work @ohnononofenton ?

Who cares what its called ? I would love to see a picture of it though

The Orangery? Really?

Years ago I babysat for a family who had a room they called a fernery. It was just a lounge really, with some large French windows and some potted ferns. I haven't seen them in 30 years but I've always remembered the fernery. 😀

😂

My aunt calls her that and it goes onto the patio - which she pronounces "pay-she-O"

Meh. My view is that I chose to live with children. Their stuff has as much right to be in communal areas as anyone else's. Was the same when I was growing up- my parents were always letting us run train tracks round the kitchen etc.
The jigsaw/hot wheels era is such a short phase of life in the grand scheme of things.
I also play a lot with my kids and prefer to do that in my favourite rooms rather than shoving them off to a playroom/conservatory/whatever.

I’d love an orangery so I’m envious. But I imagine that it’s still less comfy than the living room and so they prefer to play there?

I think you might need to let this go, the toys everywhere years are fairly short lived in the scheme of things. They just want to be near you.

I have a conservatory with an excellent old grapevine in it that thrives in the full sun every summer. Should I now call it a Vine House? 😂

I don't see how it qualifies as an orangery unless you grow, or plan to grow oranges in it.

I don't get why you're not getting much sympathy. It drives me nuts too. I have an 18 month old, and the conservatory is dedicated as a playroom (it has heated flooring). She also obviously has her bedroom. Toys still end up all over the house 😂 I don't care to the point of preventing it lol, but I can't say it doesn't bug me to see toys under the kitchen table, and sitting down to watch the TV only to set off some musical toy with my foot lol.

I tend to pick it all back up once every couple of days and throw it back in the conservatory, then shut the door so I can't see it 😂

I'd always let them play wherever, but as they get a bit older, you can teach them to tidy up, or put a couple of thing away before getting the next toy out.

It’s a really nice room. I’m often in there as well. The main reason I would prefer not to have toys in the lounge / dining area is because of heavy sofas and bookcases and TV unit that are a pain to pull out to rescue small toys.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand why the 5yo can't tidy up. We've made it clear to our 3yo that she has to tidy up when she's finished. Yes, we have to remind her and encourage her, but that's parenting. You don't back down on some things. Maybe I'm unreasonable here, but a 5yo is more than capable of tidying up. They do it at nursery/school

That’s a you thing, though, and as a pp said, you chose to have kids.

@CatsSleepFatandWalkThin

Ok Hyacinth.

I don't think you're unreasonable. Mine did it at that age, it becomes habitual.

I’m not even remotely like hyacinth. I couldn’t give a stuff what the room is called. I couldn’t have called it a conservatory but … it isn’t 🤷‍♀️ I don’t care; I’m an ordinary person, I work, I’m nothing special and I’m not trying to make out I am.

To be honest the endless ‘biting, cutting’ comments are a bit upsetting. I’m probably being a bit sensitive I know: had a shocking night last night with one child up half the night with an ear infection and various minor in the scheme of things but inconveniences today have me a bit more sensitive than normal, but I have asked nicely a few times now if we could maybe move on.

It ‘qualifies’ because that’s what it’s called. Plenty of bathrooms without baths.

ETA: link for the hard of Googling https://www.lwrsol.co.uk/blog/orangery-vs-conservatory-whats-the-difference/

Loads of people with modern extensions and open plan homes have orangeries, they just don’t know what they’re called.

I just love that! I'm going to call mine that from now on.
Brilliant 👍

And if she won’t? That’s where I am. If he just did it after a reminder it wouldn’t be a problem but he just won’t, regardless of what you do to try to force the matter.

I don’t know whether ds possibly has some additional needs: it’s one of the things troubling me a bit at the moment, but whether he does or he doesn’t I have to parent in a way which works.

Just take the good advice, OP. Perhaps let them play in the lounge, but start being firm about tidying up.

I was replying to the PP who said we were all "parochial".

If he doesn't tidy up then you enforce some kind of consequence for not listening.

Yes. But then if he still doesn’t tidy up even with the consequence, then what?

And another consequence and another … and he still won’t.

There comes a point where like I say for our relationship and for my sanity I do have to say - this isn’t working.

Does he respond to rewards? eg all toys in their proper place by 6.15, then lots of praise and a reward?