Afternoon tea difficulty

[TheAverageJoanne]

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

You would not be unreasonable to cancel the booking and go somewhere else, if you can find somewhere that accommodates your friend's preferences.

You would be very unreasonable to leave a bad review because they can't offer something that isn't on the menu. They have looked into it and suggested the nearest alternative - it isn't as if they dismissed your request out of hand.

Thanks. I didn't realise they were that (ridiculously) inflexible. Personally, I hate those afternoon teas anyway - a few sandwiches and cakes I don't particularly like when I could buy a week's groceries for £30.

I’d cancel her afternoon tea and book her a sandwich and cup of tea separately then she shares the cakes as there’s always too much

I’d cancel her afternoon tea and book her a sandwich and cup of tea separately then she shares the cakes as there’s always too much

I’d take my business where they would accommodate me and my picky eater! I’ve never heard the likes of a hotel being so difficult. I’d head my review up with “prepared to lose £xx over a cheese sandwich”!

I would be concerned that the sandwiches are not made fresh too.

It is strange that they can not make a simple cheese sandwich, really very strange. You gave them prior warning too.

You're paying for the experience and service, not the food. Take any restaurant meal or even a takeaway - you could make it yourself much more cheaply. If you don't like the sandwiches and cakes typically offered, fair enough, but I don't think afternoon teas are any worse value for money than other types of eating out.

I love afternoon tea and have never been refused a change to the sandwiches. I've never asked for only cheese but I have had prawn and salmon replaced with cheese.

That’s ridiculous, especially given they have them on the children’s menu! I have been veggie for about 20 years and I wouldn’t eat cream cheese and cucumber either, it’s grim, a lot of places seem to think as long as they provide 1 veggie option everyone should be over the moon! They are being difficult

You may be right. I don't much like eating out anyway, for similar reasons. But the afternoon teas seem like the worst food and value to me. I love fruit and vegetables and you seem to get so little of them when you eat out.

Well where does it end? Do they slice or grate the cheese to satisfy her? Seperate risk assessments! Butter the bread or not? Mild, mature, extra mature? Cheddar, Red Leicester? Double Gloucester? Cheshire? Stilton? So many options! Pickle? Chutney? Relish? Tomato? Cucumber? White? Brown? Granary? Wholemeal? It's not a simple demand and fussy people are the worst to accommodate as everything is being judged.

A cheese sandwich is a can of worms. And I speak as a toastie professional 😁

The clue’s in the name. It’s supposed to be a HOTEL, not your great Aunt Maude’s old mansion house.

They already provide cheese sandwiches on the kids menu so where’s the issue for the hotel? 🤷🏻‍♀️

In your shoes, I’d cancel and find a decent hotel as this one is clearly shit and thinks being snooty is more important than providing decent customer service.

Are they buying in the entire menu rather than making everything fresh on the premises? I’d want to ask them this.

Seriously, find somewhere else and don’t give them your business.

Hate to break it to you but they aren't made fresh. All afternoon teas are prepared in advance, sometimes the day before.

I would definitely call again and ask to speak to the manager.
You checked before you booked and they're the ones who have changed their minds.

she shouldn’t be attending an afternoon tea. Go for a pub meal or something instead.

I would complain as it’s not as if a cheese sandwich is an obscure or complicated sandwich filling. It’s extremely commonplace and ordinary, so I don’t know why a hotel, no doubt charging a fortune per head for a few poxy finger sandwiches and cakes, wouldn’t be able to cater to a very normal request.

I’d definitely be annoyed and probably cancel my booking and go somewhere else if you can at short notice. It’s not just the fact they don’t do cheese, but also that 1. They already confirmed it was okay and 2. They do it on the children’s menu.

Whenever I’ve been for afternoon tea, they do ask for dietary requirements and likes and dislikes, not just tell someone they’re having such and such with no flexibility 🤣

But when you say "absolutely anything," you do need to remember these menus are designed to have broad appeal. It isn't as though they are dried porcini and sea urchin sandwiches or something.

A set menu is designed that way, and with various choices incorporated already, for many procedural issues at the hotel (preparation, pricing, allergen compliance etc) and, while I appreciate that it can be helpful when they do agree to tweak, I think requiring them to do so is probably BU. There is no secret that afternoon tea menus are generally set.

I guess you could mention in the review that there was no capacity to adjust, but I think making a feature/complaint probably is a bit unreasonable.

FWIW, I have a friend who is rather fussy and I tend to find these requests are actually better accommodated if you ask at the time. I guess doing so in advance commits them when they don't know how busy they will be etc and comes closer to rubber stamping it as policy.

ETA also, I do feel that ordering off-menu has become a bit of a performative ritual for some people these days, riding on the back of better recognition of genuine allergies.

I think you're getting a hard time on here and actually it's pretty rubbish that they don't do accommodate Vegetarians better.

I went to one recently as a veggie and was given double the veg option instead of the meat which I also thought showed a lack of imagination. Mine was 2 egg sandwiches so even more cheapskate!

How do you know your friend won't be happy with the cream cheese and cucumber? I'd prefer that to plain cheddar any day.

Given that they do provide a cheese option, you would be very unreasonable to complain.

Both experience (I have 2 adult DDs who are vegan and we all enjoy going out for afternoon tea) and a quick google tell me that all ‘prestigious’ hotels offer a vegetarian afternoon tea and most a vegan afternoon tea as long as it’s pre booked, so I really don’t understand the issue here.

I think the hotel could easily accommodate this.

however, bit wierd though that your friend will only eat cheese in a sandwich. She'll have chutney with the cheese, but no way cream cheese or something equally inoffensive...a bit odd for fully grown person no?!

For a group situation surely she could force something down, rather than making a massive issue for group harmony/enjoyment.

Please don’t take your own sandwiches!

I don’t think it’s a vegan/veggie issue it’s out of all the fillings there are they’ll only have a cheese sandwich.

Agreed. It’ll definitely lead to a scene when you rock up with a Tesco meal deal.