Afternoon tea difficulty

[TheAverageJoanne]

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

I've had enough of this thread, being accused of lying, changing stories, being a nutter, not saying at the outset she's vegetarian, my friend being called childish, fussy and accused of thinking she's special. It's ridiculous. There's no need for any of it. I swear some posters use AIBU to vent their frustration about something else they can't express and be spiteful because they're frustrated bullies at heart.

For the final time:

We booked an afternoon tea.

The only vegetarian option is cream cheese. I checked the menu and asked them. I rang and asked if we could have the cheese sandwiches that they offer on the children's menu instead. They refused after initially saying it was fine. That last bit is worth a grumble.

I posted here asking if they were unreasonable, and if we would be unreasonable to not give a good review, complain or not tip.

I didn't ask for character assassination.

I said we'd take our own sandwich in a Tupperware container. She could eat it on the way and the rest of us would share the sarnies and all of us eat the cake, scones etc.

She's now saying she's going to put up with cream cheese anyway but it's not her preference (waiting for accusations of changing my story [am I in a police station?] or drip feeding.)

I'm going to a wedding at this same place on Halloween so I'm also going to suss it out for that.

@TheAverageJoanne

Somehow on MN it always seems to be the apparently inconsequential topics and queries that inspire the most vitriolic responses.

We start with a simple cheese sandwich scenario and end up with the OP being subjected to an interrogation worthy of MI5, with every tiny detail raked over and dissected!

I do not think you are being unreasonable, especially seeing they have already agreed over the phone.
Also don't understand those saying they have never seen cheese sandwiches at an afternoon tea. I see it on lots of afternoon tea menus, and we have had it any time we have had afternoon tea. We would normally choose places that have plainer/less fancy options anyway, but have asked if they could do plain cheese before, and never been refused.

We have been offered plain cucumber before too.

I posted here asking if they were unreasonable, and if we would be unreasonable to not give a good review, complain or not tip.

All of that said in your long last post, yes, you would still be unreasonable to "not give a good review". You are going there fully aware of their stance, and that is on you. Leaving a bad review would be spiteful.

There was nothing reasonable about the Americans in that episode

The man especially was brash, loud and rude

Basil told them they couldn't do a meal and only said he could after the man was entitled and shouting

That does seem unnecessarily unyielding.
Asking to swap something more expensive for simple cheese should not be an issue.
If anything could they not charge for one kids meal sandwich on top of the cost of the tea? If they're that obsessed.

Nobody is going to make me flounce anywhere.

OP I hope you know I am on your side, sorry if my post came across as not being as not my intention.
I have a post at the minute about a furniture issue and honestly people have been vile, some posters have been really helpful and kind, but I don't understand the ones who have attacked me in a way which has nothing to do with my post.
I have had enough of Mumsnet, it is such a good idea and I thought it was a space for people to be supportive and kind but I have found it isn't in the main.
I am going to come off of Mumsnet it is just not a nice place.
I hope all goes well with your afternoon tea and it is an enjoyable afternoon for you and your friends x

Yes, hope you all have a lovely time OP.

She's now saying she's going to put up with cream cheese

Brilliant

Oh no I was empathising with you!

No it's not. You're just trying to get a rise for the sake of it and baiting.

Business says one thing, changes there mind later hoping to get the money from someone who has already made plans;

"oh no the poor business, how dare you let people know this happened" . . . . . .

They were not "supposed" to be the joke though, as pps said.

You know that this expensive tea will be put together by min wage 17 year old school girls don't you?

That's exactly how I remember that Fawlty Towers episode too.

I think, op, there are two reasons for the "vitriol." One is that people tend to be kinder when there is a genuinely distressing issue at stake. This is, at the end of the day, about a few finger sandwiches, so people let rip with their honest views a little more.

The other is, I think, that many people are getting quite tired of the faddiness around eating these days. When I was growing up, it was polite to take what was offered, and if you couldn't manage it, it was something you kind of dealt with quietly. These days some people seem to feel they somehow aren't making themselves look important enough if they don't have a list of food requirements going ahead of them.

I realise it has come from a move to better provision for genuine allergies and intolerances - which is a good thing, without doubt. But there are people who piggy-back on that to just generally make dining with them a bit of an eye roll experience. You might say they "like to dine out on it." To be honest, only being able to eat plain cheese sandwiches as an adult comes across as falling a bit into that category.

And ok, if that's how she is, that's how she is. But then you are trying to take it a step further and criticise the hotel.

Some people have a view that "I'm PAYING!!!" means they can act like they have become queen for a day. In fact, these businesses operate - often with set menus - on the basis of scores of customers paying week in, week out. It isn't some grand financial gesture that requires subservience; it's a chance to have what the hotel offers at the price they offered.

it's a chance to have what the hotel offers at the price they offered

@Calliopespa

The vast majority of hotels (especially expensive, prestige ones) cater for vegetarians and vegans.

So I think another reason OP is getting pushback is because people can hardly believe that this hotel doesn’t.

Those who accept OP must be correct still wonder why she chose one of the very few exceptions in the hotel world when she had a vegetarian in her party.

Anyway, hope OP enjoys her day. I’m sure she could do with several cups of tea after this thread!!

I would find an alternative hotel that would be more accommodating. I don't think you can be told upfront they won't change the menu, book it with that knowledge then complain over trip advisor. Find somewhere else give them your custom.

That's not exactly how it happened. Firstly it was booked and paid for, then I rang and asked about the menu, and a woman told me it would be fine. She then rang back and said the manager said no.

Anyway we've been and come back now. It was ok, though I had to ask for a replacement cup as mine was chipped and hadn't been washed properly.

The sandwich was more cucumber than cream cheese and it was sliced white bread. The other sandwiches were good, but they brought out a plate of egg sandwiches for our vegetarian, which she doesn't like. (They'd been told she only eats cheese on sandwiches). They were shared around the rest of the party (I don't eat eggs myself).

The cakes, scones and mini desserts were excellent. I paid £11 for a glass of prosecco.

We didn't tip.

Firstly it was booked and paid for, then I rang and asked about the menu

Booking and paying for somewhere you haven't seen the menu for is just alien to me though, how do you know there's anything you're going to like or can eat?!
(Actually that's why you had such a dilemma in the first place I suppose lol)

I hope "cheesegate" didn't affect your enjoyment of your afternoon tea, they aren't cheap, and are supposed to feel relaxed and a treat, in luxurious surroundings with an air of decadence. I hope the hotel and its staff added to the occasion and you were all happy 😁

Yes I agree with that aspect too.

I am surprised there wasn't a full vegetarian tea option to be honest, and maybe people are wondering if they tried to order the non-vegetarian tea and then tweak to make it a kind of hybrid to share costs.