Afternoon tea difficulty

[TheAverageJoanne]

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

The hotel said it would be OK, they have now changed their mind despite it obviously being within they power to deliver.

The rest of the discussion has no bearing.

YANBU to leave an accurate review

Cream cheese is, of course, totally unsuitable for vegetarians 🤨

This is a fussy vegetarian friend

Will your friend eat an egg mayonnaise sandwich? I can't imagine just eating cheese sandwiches when there are so many delicious fillings. Sausage rolls are normally offered in an afternoon tea, something else your friend won't eat. Maybe your friend should pass on the occasion and join you on a meal out instead at a later date. I can't imagine living as a vegetarian, it's too limited for me. I feel sorry for coeliacs and those having to exclude gluten for medical reasons, but vegetarians and vegans choose this lifestyle and shouldn't expect to be given special treatment just because of their chosen dietary requirements

vegetarians and vegans choose this lifestyle and shouldn't expect to be given special treatment just because of their chosen dietary requirements

Of course they should when they’re paying for their meal. Hotels cater for a wide variety of tastes. If they didn’t people would go elsewhere.

I think we'll leave the embarrassing fusspot at home and eat her share!

Yes this is what I think; I can remember walking around an area of Paris back in the 1970s whe veggies were not really catered for. One of the group announced she was a veggie and could not find anything she wanted to eat on any of the menus. Eventually I got tired to translating menus, and picked a restaurant I liked. I told the rest of the group that I was eating there and they could do as they liked,. We were all pissed off and hungry so the veggie and her friend were left to make their own arrangements.

If it was me I’d eat just the cake and lick the cucumber off the cream cheese butties (I’m not a fan of cucumber in a butty).
it does feel like they’re being rigid but your friend can adjust. They defo should have a veggie offering.

As a incredibly fussy eater, she needs to suck it up and just eat what she can. As an example I don't like chips- so if a meal comes with chips I ask if they can swap for a salad, if not I say don't worry about the chips or I share with others on the table. Some people share their food with me and some don't.

She can grab a sausage roll or have a cheese sandwhich if she is going to get hungry- but there is a limit on accomodation for differences and food preferences (not allergies) is it for a set menu.

So there is a vegetarian sandwich on offer but your friend doesn't want to eat it. Life can be so unfair.

Well it is cream cheese 🤢

Smoked salmon and cream cheese, mmm, delicious 😋

Is there not a vegetarian afternoon tea option? If there's not, I can kind of see why she doesn't want to go/ thinks there's not much she can have.
So many afternoon teas out there that do have a vegetarian option, so if it's the case that she's vegetarian why not go to somewhere that caters to both omnivores and vegetarians/vegans?

Can't you go somewhere else, I wouldn't give them my money,that's shocking!

Cucumber? 🤢

Yeah, I'd be sitting in the car park with a flask and my own unadulterated sandwich waving at you through the window.

Pick a different hotel?

I find it surprising they don't offer a vegetarian sandwich selection, or enough variety in the sandwiches that a group can swap around, eg if they served cheese and pickle, cream cheese and cucumber, egg mayo, prawn mayo, ham and tomato then there's still 3 sandwiches for a vegetarian and I'm sure some of the meat eaters would be happy to give these up and have prawn and ham instead.

However, I can see it from the hotel's point of view, if they accommodate every last request, instead of them just being able to prep a standard afternoon tea selection, they'd have an endless list of 'no tomato on that one', swap the ham for cheese on this one, etc etc and it will be a lot more work for them. So you'd think that, given that it's fairly inoffensive middle of the road food that most people could just eat it without issues.

Hotel is being ridiculous, it’s the easiest adaptation to make!

... where are you going?

They don't provide a vegetarian afternoon tea? Seems unlikely...

Ffs you’re asking for a dietary request and they are refusing as it’s not an allergy or intolerance

how about it’s a phobia 🙃 and how come they get to decide

we live in a world with neurodivergent people everywhere, not the 1970s

which hotel is it so we all know to make our choices wisely

I bet they do provide a vegetarian one and the friend just won't eat most of the choices.

She only wants cheese apparently. So no egg, no cucumber, no chickpeas or avocado or anything

The way you've worded your OP and the request to the venue is unreasonable IMO. It's fine to request a vegetarian option, and odd they don't offer one. You shouldn't have booked this place if they didn't and you have a vegetarian in your group though.

Requesting "only cheese sandwich" does make you sound unreasonable.

I work with hotels, restaurants, catering all the time.
A few cheese sandwiches should be no problem at all.

You’re paying a lot of money. Why should she not get a sandwich, as some others have suggested? Not good enough.

Inflexible and completely lacking in customer care not to substitute one round of sandwiches with one that is available on a different menu. What happened to the customer is always right?

The problem is that this fussy eater only eats cheese... The next fussy eater only eats jam ... The only after that eats cucumber.

The hotel ends up in a position that they are now making bespoke afternoon teas. The afternoon teas will also be made the same which is the most efficient and cost effective way of producing food.

An adult that won't eat a few different foods is not a reason to request a bespoke menu

Vegan and vegetarianism is also a choice with no more imperative behind it than a dislike of something, just as the OPs friend has. Afternoon tea is a luxury treat, booked in advance. Any decent hotel ought to be able to manage this very simple request.

I think YABU for booking a venue without a veggie menu when one is your group is veggie. It’s very uncommon not to have a vegetarian or vegan option.