Wedding with best men/groomsmen but no bridesmaids?

[Upthejunction45]

I have started wedding planning which is very exciting, this is just something I'm thinking about and wondering if anyone else has had the same?

My fiancé has a close male friend he'd have as a best man and some he'd have as groomsmen.
Without sounding like a sob story, I don't have female friends I'm close enough to. I've been a bridesmaid twice, once in 2015 and once in 2019. However rarely see or speak to the women I was a bridesmaid for now, not through my lack of trying but they just showed disinterest once they were in different life stages to me.
I do have female friends but nobody who I would say I'm incredibly close to and have that 'ride or die' thing with. Just people I'd meet occasionally for a coffee and speak to here and there.

Would the wedding be strange if I didn't have bridesmaids? Not only that, but I don't have an interest in doing the whole hen/bridal party etc. And I don't think I'd have the budget to pay for a whole team of dresses, make up for them all etc.

Aware this makes me sound miserable but it's just who I am! I don't want to let my fiancé down at all, I just don't seem to have this girly group and almost feel embarrassed. Any advice?

The ones who I was a bridesmaid for now have kids, and part of me worries that they'd decline anyway or not even come to the wedding as they've never expressed an interest in visiting round here and only talk if I get in touch first

It's absolutely fine. I've been to weddings with no bridesmaids before. It doesn't make any difference if there are ushers.

I didn't want to do the hen do thing either. I did in the end, a very lowkey day out to the seaside and it was fine but I don't think I would have missed anything by not having it.

It's your wedding, have whatever you like.
My DH doesn't have lots of friends so when we got married he didn't have a best man.
I had two young teens as bridesmaids (niece and daughter of family friend).
We also didn't have stag/hen does, or evening reception.
We didn't explain, was just the way we did it.
Was a lovely relaxed day and guests seemed to enjoy it.

I didn’t have a hen do or bridesmaids. My DH was going to have a best man and then decided not to (I wonder if that was because I didn’t want a bridesmaid). Neither thing affected the day in any way - just do what you’re comfortable with!

Thank you, these are reassuring. I don't have sisters either, I don't want to sound like a victim or anything as I'm not, I'm just for whatever reason not close friend material

Bridesmaids don’t really do anything on the day so you definitely don’t need them ! Tbh I would have been in your shoes if I didn’t have a sister.

if you did want one, does your future husband have a sister you could ask ? Or any little girls who could be flower girls ?

My take on it all is that it is about celebrating your marriage not putting on wedding for everybody else. You and your husband can do exactly as you choose. I did't have a hen night because it just wasn't me. My Husband didn't have a stag do. I went out for a few drinks with a friend and my cousin who was staying with us. My friend wasn't a bridesmaid but my cousin was.

Will mum be around on the day to help with anything you may need?

I'm sure the only person your partner truely wants there is you. Hope you have a wonderful day and a life-long marriage.

No hen do and no bridesmaids here either. DH had BIL as his best man.

Do you know what? I think it’s kind of cool. Shows independence and there’s nothing worse than asking someone who A, you don’t really want and B They don’t want to do it.

It will save you a fortune.

I got married years ago and had two, but if I was to get married now, I would probably do what you’re doing and not have any. I don’t have a ride or die anymore and I’m fine with that. My DH and kids are my ride or dies.

I don't see an issue with it, however if your fiancé has a sister who you get along with it might be nice to include them in the bridal party?

Speaking as a sister who felt like a total spare part when her brother got married and everyone in our immediate family was in the bridal party except me.... 🙄

It’s absolutely fine. I had a Man of Honour, and all he really did was hold my bouquet for the vows and straighten my dress for the photos, and you can ask anyone you like to help with that if needed. Are you close to your mum, an aunt, cousin etc?

I can assure you, once you’re up there doing your vows, you aren’t thinking about bridesmaids and nobody else is overthinking who preceded you down the aisle. There are so many different types of ceremony, and plenty of people opt out of a retinue.

Honestly OP there is nothing to feel embarrassed about and you wouldn't be letting your fiancé down in any way.

My first wedding was me and my fiancé with his brother and a mutual friend as witnesses. Absolutely nobody else even knew we were getting married let alone attended.It was a wonderful day and was perfect. Unfortunately the marriage didn't last but that was nothing whatsoever to do with the wedding itself. Whatever else happened in our relationship I still look back on that wedding day with fond memories.

Absolutely no need for bridesmaids and hen dos and all the distractions.

These replies are so kind and reassuring, thank you!

I didn't have any bridesmaids and I have loads of sisters. DH had two best men, one of which was a woman.

Do you or your fiance have any siblings or cousins with children who could be flower girls .
My cousin didn't have bridesmaids and instead had 2 of the younger cousins as flower girls. They only saw the bride maybe once a year but they and their parents were really happy for them to be asked.
Just ask your fiance to have 1 best man & no groomsmen as you would prefer a low key wedding. As having a number of groomsmen & no bridesmaids would be quite uneven.

@Upthejunction45

I didn't have any bridesmaids. My MIL and her Mum were horrified "oh but you must"

Contrary to MN law, I just responded "Oh but I don't want to" and didn't have any. The world didn't end. It was nothing to do with them. I didn't have a hen do either.

I don't think anyone thought our wedding was strange.

Just ask your fiance to have 1 best man & no groomsmen as you would prefer a low key wedding. As having a number of groomsmen & no bridesmaids would be quite uneven.
There's nothing wrong with it being uneven. I had two bridesmaids and a flower girl. DH had 6 ushers. It didn't matter at all. The idea of the number of bridesmaids and ushers needing to match is quite a new one.

We had the other way round, 2 bridesmaids but no best man, as dh didn't have anyone he wanted to ask. We were determined to do only the bits of a traditional wedding we actually wanted. It was all fine, no regrets. I'm a firm believer in doing your wedding your way.

The registrar did seem perplexed by it when we met her beforehand and kept asking who would have the rings. I'm not sure why she thought my DH was incapable of putting some rings in his pocket! Anyway, in the end he asked his dad to do the passing over over rings as he would be at the front and that was nice but not necessary!

Ive definitely been to one with only a very young flower girl, no bridesmaid, which had a best man. Again, I don't think it was a problem and I can't remember any comments.

If my DH has asked me to choose between my bf and my dsis as bridesmaids so it wasn't too uneven I would have thought he was ridiculous. It was important to me to have them, so I did. It wasn't important to him to have a best man, so he didn't..

Oh gosh OP please do it EXACTLY as you and your fiancé want it. The day will be about your love and joy, and the more comfortable and 'you' the whole thing feels the more you'll enjoy it.

I didn’t have any, my DH had a best man.

I'd only do this if you are very close to her. Getting ready for your wedding is a very personal thing, you may not want to be self conscious around the in laws at that time. I didn't have my sil, who I like but am not close friends with, for that reason. I said DH could have her as best woman / grooms woman if he wanted her involved but he wasn't bothered so we asked her do a reading and sign the register (with my sister) to give her a role. To be honest though the parents of groom don't usually have much role either so I don't think she'd have felt a spare part even if we hadn't. It was a small wedding though.

Of course you can do what you want! ( Although if you are having children at your wedding, you could make a little girl's day and have a mini bridesmaid.)

Completely fine. Much better than having them for the sake of it.

No female relatives on your side or your fiancés that would fit the bill? A close aunt or cousin even? No little girls on either side?
But no, it wouldn’t be weird at all if you’ve no bridesmaids, do what works for you and your fiance.