Wedding with best men/groomsmen but no bridesmaids?

[Upthejunction45]

I have started wedding planning which is very exciting, this is just something I'm thinking about and wondering if anyone else has had the same?

My fiancé has a close male friend he'd have as a best man and some he'd have as groomsmen.
Without sounding like a sob story, I don't have female friends I'm close enough to. I've been a bridesmaid twice, once in 2015 and once in 2019. However rarely see or speak to the women I was a bridesmaid for now, not through my lack of trying but they just showed disinterest once they were in different life stages to me.
I do have female friends but nobody who I would say I'm incredibly close to and have that 'ride or die' thing with. Just people I'd meet occasionally for a coffee and speak to here and there.

Would the wedding be strange if I didn't have bridesmaids? Not only that, but I don't have an interest in doing the whole hen/bridal party etc. And I don't think I'd have the budget to pay for a whole team of dresses, make up for them all etc.

Aware this makes me sound miserable but it's just who I am! I don't want to let my fiancé down at all, I just don't seem to have this girly group and almost feel embarrassed. Any advice?

its your wedding, do it as you wish 🫶
I've been for 32 years and whilst it’s normal to look back and think about minor things I’d change today, the biggest regret I have is not asking my grandmother to be bridesmaid as I see the trend that it is now. We were very close, she brought me up….but that’s a just a personal thing. But yours is personal too. Do what makes you happy 💐

My daughter didn’t have bridesmaids. Nobody noticed.
Who cares?

I have friends but definitely no ride or die friends! I didn't want any but did end up choosing DH's sister and my niece.
Your wedding day is for you and DH, just make yourself happy 😊

It’s your wedding so you do whatever you want then hell you like.

I got married just before Christmas! No bridesmaids. Husband had one best man. We had a perfect day

Do you need groomsmen? How big is the wedding?

We went the other way round. I had 2 child bridesmaids and a young usher. I had my sister as maid of honour and my DH had his sister as ‘best man’. So no adult males in our wedding party. No one commented and thought it was odd and it didn’t make any difference to our day.

As long as you (as a couple) have two witnesses, you don't need anyone else.
And not having a "hen do" sounds like a fabulous idea!

I had no bridesmaids. No sisters, nieces etc. My two closest friends signed the register and did a reading in church. No regrets.

I’ve been at many very normal weddings with differently shaped wedding parties, for a variety of reasons. Do whatever you want and don’t worry about what other people might think.

I was the same and mil ended up strong arming me into asking couple of friends I wasn't that close to. Really wish I hadnt.

Ask do to just have a best man and have no bridesmaids.

We didn’t have hen/stag nights, bridesmaids or groomsmen - in fact, there were just six of us at our wedding: the groom, his children, two witnesses and me. We had a terrific day

I had no bridesmaids as I wanted a very low stress and low budget wedding and bridesmaids dresses hair shoes gifts add huge amounts of work and organisation
( potential drama) and expense

also I did not want to pick out 3/4 women from my life as it was awkward , for example I was close to one cousin but not her sister , I really like one SIL but she had a small baby in the day and my other SIL lives in New Zealand so dress fitting v hard

i did consider having corsages like a female version of a man’s button hole and giving them out to key women ( or even all the women there) so that there were lots of flowers in the photos a bit like bridesmaids but then didn’t due to expense and extra faff that women would have to attach a corsage to their handbags / clothes and may not appreciate that ? But it’s an idea to hand every lady a rose for the photo maybe ?

Why not do an American style wedding rehearsal in stead of a hen stag and have a meal the night before ?

I didn't have bridesmaids, DH had a bestman, but no ushers/groomsmen. Just do what you want to do, it's your day.

I know two brides who had otherwise traditional weddings but no bridesmaids.

One was a bit of a tomboy and said the idea of another girl fussing with hair and make up around her would have been a bit annoying. The other one had a baby son who was carried in as a ringbearer (Scottish wedding, he wore a mini kilt and tamoshanter and the rings in a little bag tied into his tartan rattle. really adorable!) She said he was the only attendant she wanted and fair enough, he stole the show.

There's no law that says you have to have bridesmaids so do what you like.

@Upthejunction45 I went to a wedding where the bride had no bridesmaids (no one in that kind of close relationship, and no family children to participate). However she was very close to both her grandmothers and they were 'flower grans'. When the arrival music started the 2 grans came first down the aisle with baskets of flower petals scattering them as they walked. They were giddy and giggling and completely stole the show.

Then followed bride and her ddad. Also giggling at the antics of the flower grans. If there had been bridesmaids they would have been completely overshadowed.

You do what is right for you.

Incidentally, years ago a 'loose' friend asked me and another girl to be bridesmaids (she had no sisters or female cousins or longstanding school friends). It was weird for me and the other bridesmaid - we didn't know the bride or groom's family structures - which uncle was married to which aunt, who was a neighbour or their Mum's best friend... We all lost contact after a few years. I think it must be sad for them to look at their wedding photos 40 years on and have 2 almost strangers as part of them.

By contrast I've been bridesmaid to 3 other friends (I think in the 1980's I had the perfect bridesmaid look and demeanour - dainty, not as good looking as the brides, and able to deal with slightly tipsy uncles!). To this day I am still in contact with those friends, often with their parents, and at family events (usually funerals these days) the family all know me, and I know them.

There are no rules about what kind of wedding you have. You don't have to have bridesmaids, or a hen party, or whatever. Think about what YOU really want and start from there.

I didn't have bridesmaids. Much less hassle. If it feels unbalanced your DH having groomsmen, they can support him without having titles. Enjoy!

I didn’t want to pick any friends as didn’t want to leave anyone out. I chose my eldest cousin to be my bridesmaid,

At the end of the day, the best man has a speech to make, ushers greet everyone, bridesmaids are really just there to hang out with you in the morning and help you to the loo if your dress is tricky. I had one bridesmaid, but could easily have just had my mum or sister-in-law.

My husband actually spent the wedding morning alone and honestly, I’m a tad jealous! It sounded nice and chill! Whereas I was being harassed by a makeup artist and photographer from 8am 😅

I'm not doing traditional bridesmaids and my partner isn't having a best man. His brother and sister are going to sign the register. His brother would be a de factor best man but would hate public speaking.

So we're leaning into different strengths. Asking one friend to do a speech. Two friends to do readings. And that's it.

For 4 of my very good friends, I am giving them a little brooch they can wear on the day if they like, but sod the matching dresses nonsense.

That’s why my husband had two best “men”. One for the ceremony and one to do the speeches.

Nope, you do you! Nobody will bat an eyelid.

I didn't have any bridesmaids and my husband had a female best man (or chief chick as she was known). We did have a hen and stag do but only because I wanted a weekend away at centre parcs! Do we exactly what you want!