To report this colleague?

[WorkplaceDramaHelp]

I am currently in quite an issue at work, and I’m looking for advice really.

We have had a new receptionist start, who is significantly older than me (sharing as I think this is part of the issue!) I’m in my 30s and they’re in their 60s. I think they don’t like receiving instructions from someone younger than them and this is at least part of the problem.

Since they started there have been some issues, teething problems probably, such as scanning things wrong or booking appointments wrong etc etc. If I ever try to raise this (e.g. ‘just to let you know for next time appointments should be at this time’) she gets very snappy with me and make it a very tense atmosphere. They do not take this attitude with male counterparts, who are also younger but probably closer in age (around 50s), or the older female colleagues.

I have raised with my superior that these issues continue after I have mentioned to the person involved, as I find it very uncomfortable to offer these corrections directly due to the snappiness etc.

Since doing so, things have become even worse. More and more mistakes happening, that I feel uncomfortable to mention, and a huge atmosphere of snappy words or whispering to the other receptionist when I walk past etc. I have taken to fixing things myself or just doing the tasks myself in the first place, which doesn’t feel reasonable either.

I’m really struggling with the environment and it’s making me very anxious to go into work. I want to get on with everyone, but the mistakes do need addressing as I have to fix them otherwise and I honestly don’t have time.

At this stage I have purely reported the actual errors (when I have said something) and left any kind of comment/tone out of it.

would I be unreasonable to go to someone in the department and explain how I’m being made to feel?

I think it’s even worse as she is particularly rude if I see her on my own, or when she thinks no one else is there. It’s gotten to the point that I meet a friend outside of work to enter to go past so that nothing is said, which doesn’t really feel like a practical solution or something I should have to do.

any and all advice appreciated!

If you’re not talking to her like she’s stupid, then don’t apologise for doing so. Just say ‘I’m not intending to make you feel stupid, I know you’re new to the tasks but it’s really important that we get these things right for clients.’

You're being apologetic for her mistakes - why?

Literally painting a target on your back. Just be calm and factual and stop feeding into it.

Document EVERYTHING. The mistakes, what you said, what she responded with.
DOCUMENT. EVERYTHING.

She's still on probation. E mail any errors. Once. If she repeats then that's on her. Or tell whoever that the training is not going well, someone else can take over.

Just read yku are not her line manager. Why is her line manager not reviewing her work? Not sure s/he can line manage her if she's not reviewing her work. Pass the reviewing to line manager.

Correct her every time and document your corrections via a follow up email. If it continues with no improvement then escalate to her line manager. Keep it purely factually with the evidence to back it up. Don’t correct her mistakes as this means she’s getting away with it.

She's speaking to you this way because a) she's not a nice person and b) she thinks she can ie she does not feel you have a sense of authority to you. This is something for you to work on because if she sees you this way then others will too.
I am guessing you are a nice person - I mean that in a nice way - but you need to find a new groove where you can remain nice but also give off a sense of authortity. When you say something to her, she's snappy at you and you then apologise when you didn't do anything wrong. So she is perceiving you as weak.

If you say something and she replys snappy then give her a short reply in an abrupt tone like "no one said you are stupid I have been told to train you and that's what I am doing'... and then walk off.

As difficult as this person is being - she is going to help you in the long run as its clear you need some work on your confidence.

It makes complete sense that this situation is wearing you down. What you’re describing isn’t just “teething problems” anymore — it’s a pattern of behaviour that’s affecting your ability to do your job and your sense of safety and comfort at work. No one should be entering the building with a knot in their stomach or coordinating their arrival to avoid someone.
What you’re experiencing is valid
You’re not overreacting. Being snapped at, undermined, whispered about, or treated differently when you’re alone with someone creates a hostile atmosphere. That’s not “just personality differences” — it’s behaviour that impacts your wellbeing and your work. This isn’t your job to fix alone. Ask for a meeting formal with your line manager and take along a piece of paper and make notes.

You’ve already taken the reasonable steps:
You’ve given polite, factual corrections.
You’ve avoided commenting on tone.
You’ve escalated the work errors to your line manager.
And instead of improving, the behaviour has escalated. That’s a sign that this is no longer a simple communication issue.

So it’s absolutely reasonable to speak to someone about how this is affecting you
You’re not asking for anyone to be punished. You’re asking for support in dealing with a situation that is impacting your work and mental health. That is exactly what HR or a manager is there for.
When you speak to them, keep it factual and make sure it is a pattern of behaviour that needs addressing. Talk to them (your line manager - ask for a formal meeting) talk to them about specific examples of snappiness or undermining
The difference in how she speaks to you vs others - don’t speculate why she does just keep it factual she does
The impact on your ability to do your job
The fact that you now avoid being alone with her as you feel uncomfortable, anxious and bullied and the constant snapping is effecting you negatively at work
Discuss the escalation since you raised concerns and that you have tried to help and support her and create a positive working environment

keep a log of what is said in the meeting and any outcomes agreed

met many of these older bullying type of women through work and then can be nasty…..

Yes I think you’re right, I will start directing things to be passed onto the line manager for checking and then they will see issues directly without me needing to highlight it and risk the confrontation in the first place.

i also agree with email/noting of things where we do interact (eg delegating tasks) so that it is clear what has been asked and why etc

I was bullied out of a job. It took her years, but in the end, I took an escape route when I found one.

Logging ALL THE INCIDENTS is really important (not that it did me much good in the end!). Especially the ones that seem too stupid and petty to make a fuss about - because when you see them there, listed, it becomes apparent how often she does it. Yeah, you feel like you're being petty if you go " I heard her whispering about me as I walked past yesterday, and, umm, last week she hid my mug?", but trust me, that list of childish hostile actions that happened over 2 weeks, several every day, shows that you're not being sensitive. It's really wearing, much more than actual, substantial disagreements.

Off the top of my head, for you to chuckle at: In my workplace, one of the weekend staff once left a note about something that the first person in on monday morning would need to know. Not being sure who that would be, they addressed it to:
Bully'sName / MyName / Whoever is working!
I saw it first.
Later in the day, my name had been scribbled out so savagely, the paper was torn. Just one of the many things 🤷

She's clearly determined to fail her probation! Stop correcting her work for her, report her to your line manager, and move on.

Thank you so much for this comment, it’s really kind and helpful and makes me feel like I’m not just being a total wimp!

You’re right and I’m going to speak to my line manager/hr if anything more is said, the second that it is said.

There has been an occasion where the snappy comment has reduced me to tears whilst in work, I went and hid in the toilet until I was calm and then took my lunch to give myself time to decompress. I’m minded to go to HR in tears next time to show exactly how I am feeling!

I've been there, it's hard work, but the attitude and repeated errors will not help her pass her probation. Document everything. Stop apologising for giving instruction and asking for errors to be fixed.

Yes this is exactly it! Sometimes it’s blatant and rude comments, but other times it’s taking my stapler and not giving it back/hiding it in her drawer. Sounds so silly and a non-issue on its own - for ages I didn’t tell my partner because I thought he’d think I was bonkers for being bothered by these things! But when you add up the stapler, plus not passing on important notes, plus the mean comments etc etc it soon shows the real picture.

Haha; that’s so petty of them! Funny to laugh at now as it’s so daft of them, but must’ve been really tough at the time.

The main thing is overall I love my job and I’m very well supported generally to achieve my career goals, so I’m determined to not be bullied out!

I’ve made sure that I have never discussed her as a person to other colleagues (they are often gossiping saying they don’t this or that etc) so that I cannot possibly be dragged into any kind of retaliatory arguments!

Whatever you do don't mention age, etc just keep it factual when you speak with your manager. It's highly likely it's not only you she is treating like this.

It's horrible, isn't it. I hope you have more luck / better support than I did! You're in a good position though with her still being on probation. 😦
(There's a random emoji I've done by mistake and it won't delete. D'oh)

When she makes snide comments as you walk past can you draw attention to them by asking her to repeat or I saw a good way to call comments out is to say you don't understand and can they explain it please. It makes them go into detail about their comment/joke and that actually it's not funny and makes them think twice before doing it again.

OP it sounds very unprofessional in your work place. This not your fault at all. There should be a proper training system in place that is consistent and documented and training should be done by people trained to train, IYSWIM. Not dumped on somebody who already has their own work to do.

Just to reiterate, you are helping her pass her probation by correcting her mistakes and keeping schtum as to her shitty attitude.

Let her make her mistakes for all to see, try and speak to her when you have witnesses, as I guess she won't be so snappy!

Definitely go see HR next time she oversteps.

The big thing to take away from this is you are not her line manager, you are not responsible for correcting her work. You were asked to complete some training with her whilst a colleague was off sick. Time to return responsibility to that colleague who is now back and her line manager . if your responsibility is a peer checking role now, then any mistakes get returned to her before they get sent out. When returning it, cc her line manager. Ask to speak to her line manager and clarify what your role is, stick to it like glue. I have a senior colleague who I produce a lot of documentation for, she is very much a 'likes you one minute hates you the next' person. However much she may wish, she isn't my line manager but I am expected to correct mistakes. When it became too obvious that she was in fact bullying and trying to throw me under the proverbial bus, I arranged a meeting with my line manager to establish what the expectations of me and my working relationship with senior colleague actually are. That's what needs to be clarified here, that you may not be her manager, but the expectation is that she will be responsive to your training and corrections
For personal comments etc, keep a journal, stay factual, date, time, actual comment made.

Tell her you are not deaf either the next time she says she is not stupid

how is the training carried out? do you have a manual?
Go through each thing, and then each of you sign the training document to say, for her, she has understood the training and can do the task, and you to say she has understood the training and can do the task.

Keep on training until the tasks don't have mistakes.

She sounds like a grade A moron. Keep a log of it. It sucks, humans!!!!

At this stage, I would be communicating by email with this person, so that there is a trackable record of the points that you are raising and she can't complain that you are speaking to her like she is stupid etc etc. I would also be emailing a summary of any tasks that you have given her. So you can say "for both our records, I am emailing confirmation of what we agreed to do today: blah, blah, blah." Then there can be no misunderstandings and as long as your emails are professional, she won't have a leg to stand on!

If necessary, copy in your manager on the emails.

I don't think this is an age thing, I think this is a poor work attitude thing. She sounds really unpleasant. I'm sorry you are having to to deal with this @WorkplaceDramaHelp

Agree with this. DON'T apologise!
I'd also say, in a calm voice, 'It's not appropriate to use words like stupid and I'm not going to engage on an emotional level. Please mind your tone and keep it professional. Factually, there are some things I need you to note for the good of the business...' and carry on enumerating them.