To report this colleague?

[WorkplaceDramaHelp]

I am currently in quite an issue at work, and I’m looking for advice really.

We have had a new receptionist start, who is significantly older than me (sharing as I think this is part of the issue!) I’m in my 30s and they’re in their 60s. I think they don’t like receiving instructions from someone younger than them and this is at least part of the problem.

Since they started there have been some issues, teething problems probably, such as scanning things wrong or booking appointments wrong etc etc. If I ever try to raise this (e.g. ‘just to let you know for next time appointments should be at this time’) she gets very snappy with me and make it a very tense atmosphere. They do not take this attitude with male counterparts, who are also younger but probably closer in age (around 50s), or the older female colleagues.

I have raised with my superior that these issues continue after I have mentioned to the person involved, as I find it very uncomfortable to offer these corrections directly due to the snappiness etc.

Since doing so, things have become even worse. More and more mistakes happening, that I feel uncomfortable to mention, and a huge atmosphere of snappy words or whispering to the other receptionist when I walk past etc. I have taken to fixing things myself or just doing the tasks myself in the first place, which doesn’t feel reasonable either.

I’m really struggling with the environment and it’s making me very anxious to go into work. I want to get on with everyone, but the mistakes do need addressing as I have to fix them otherwise and I honestly don’t have time.

At this stage I have purely reported the actual errors (when I have said something) and left any kind of comment/tone out of it.

would I be unreasonable to go to someone in the department and explain how I’m being made to feel?

I think it’s even worse as she is particularly rude if I see her on my own, or when she thinks no one else is there. It’s gotten to the point that I meet a friend outside of work to enter to go past so that nothing is said, which doesn’t really feel like a practical solution or something I should have to do.

any and all advice appreciated!

I'd speak to your own liberal manager, ask them for advice, she might still be in her probationary period. Follow up any conversations with emails, I'd record her gossip on my phone when I walked past, management need to deal with this, it's not your responsibility. Have you undertaken any managerial, conflict resolution and supervision training. Why are you being asked to train her, who is responsible for the reception staff.

Or the classic MN phrase
Did you mean to be so rude?

Do feedback in writing to her so there’s a written record if you can. Keep it short simple. “Thanks for showing me x, as discussed, it needs amending in this way …”

If/when she reacts don’t apologise. Document for your own records what she’s said on the back of each email/interaction.
Take this data to your seniors and tell them someone else needs to train her.

Ultimately, if you have to, tell them she is bullying you and they need to step in.

She is still under probation yes, and when I have mentioned my issues to a supervisor they said they would ensure this was brought up within the probation review

And have you been putting all of it in writing?

Yes I’m definitely going to do emails going forward.

a friend did suggest I keep my own log - just a word document or such like - detailing dates and interactions where she is rude to me. I think that’s probably a good idea. I haven’t done it before now as I thought well it’s just my word vs hers, but I suppose a comprehensive account may be useful

As others have said keep everything to email. If your change of communication is challenged just reply that she can refer back to the answer for clarification. Explain to your manager that you are ensuring there is a clear record should things deteriorated further. Asking someone else to train her is letting the bully feel empowered and who knows what her next response will be.

Presumably, if you’ve been asked to train her, there must be certain training/performance objectives that she has to meet - can you give feedback to HR against those?

If you haven’t been given any objectives, then you need to ask for some!

Just to answer the question a few people have had, no there is no formal training schedule, it was a case of ‘show things as they come up’. I 100% agree this isn’t great or ideal but that’s the instruction I was given unfortunately. Our other receptionist who was on long term sick is now back, and has taken over the bulk of training as she actually works the same role, which is good! Still left with the issue of correcting work given to me (or reporting this issue higher) and also when I assign tasks getting the same comments/snark. But thanks for all the comments so far!

I know some people think I’m being soft, and I agree I need to work on the idea that I don’t necessarily need to be buds sigh colleagues - they just need to do their jobs. But I do appreciate all comments and advice, and the reassurance that possibly taking it further is not a bad thing

I would follow up with an email and also ask at that point "would you like further training on that aspect of the job"

This records that she has already had training
offers further training

it covers your back

you don't want her complaining that you didn't train her on something after she has done it wrong after that incident

Speak to her line manager and ask them going forward if it would be a good idea to keep them in the loop with the work that needs to be reviewed. Do you think she would be making these mistakes if she knew her line manager needed to be copied in to the work she has supposedly completed?

Also don’t apologise to her when she snaps at you!! She’s relying on putting you on the back foot! Report all of this behaviour including her being even more nasty when you’re on your own with her and also record her even just the voice if not audio to show hr what you are having to put up with

ask her to correct mistakes by email and blind copy in her manager. Don’t let her get to you. There’s often one of these types in every work place in my experience . Learning to deal with them is a discrete skill of its own.

I agree with the person who said have your phone switched to record if she makes mean remarks when you walk past.

But check if that is legal first.

It's awful having to work with someone like that. Although you are keeping a written record, try not to let her get to you and never respond in kind as it would only be used against you. Your best defence is to remain calm and professional but reporting.

Do you have a union? maybe report your concerns so that they are on the record and you have extra advice.

Have some neutral prepared phrases up your sleeve to counteract her when she says things like don't call me stupid...

"I did not say that. I was simply asking you to make some corrections."

"I don't name call because it is unprofessional. Please make the corrections I've highlighted for you."
"That was never my intention."
"can we please focus on the corrections"

Agree with the other comments. Fully detail in writing what you have trained her in and when. Perhaps send it to ask if she needs any recaps or anything more and cc in her line manager
and then email her with corrections Every time but dont fix them yourself
With regard to what she is saying as yoj walk past that is just childish but I know it does get to you. Try to ignore it but always walk past with a breezy :good morning" "goodnight" so she can't accuse you of completely ignoring her.

I was in a similar situation OP. I was working with someone who, if she liked you, was nice, if she didn't like you, boy did you know it. She'd be so unpleasant, people stopped going to her for things that were actually her job and do them themselves.

She hated my guts, no idea why. I tried to talk to her twice about it but nothing ever changed. So I want to her manager and basically said either you deal with her or I will file a grievance against her for her behaviour. She got spoken to and things vastly improved when she realised she would not get away with speaking to me like crap. I would have filed it too.

Gosh this sounds like my life! If she likes you then she’s nice as pie but otherwise it’s the opposite. Thank you for this comment, I’m glad it’s not just me

She has a bad attitude and is bullying you. Don't stand for it, take a more assertive approach i.e. 'I know you aren't stupid but it is my job to train you and that is what I am doing.'

Remain calm, consistent and firm in your stance of ensuring she learns to do tasks correctly.

If she doesn't like it - tough. If others can see that she has a big chip on her shoulder - good.

Why do you have to fix her work? Is it your job to check her work? If it’s wrong give it back to her to fix!

Stop apologising. When she starts that, say something like

“do not talk to me in that tone, I have not called you stupid, I am simply pointing out an error that needs to be rectified for the future.”

Please don’t apologise if you are not in the wrong. What does she learn from this? Her unreasonableness is rewarded. Go on the offensive whilst maintaining absolute professionalism. Something like ‘Oh! How would you phrase it then?’

Consider her training complete. She's as trained as she's ever going to be. Any mistakes going forward are on her and that's for her manager to deal with.

agreed...
I'd err on the side of caution and not even repeat the word she used like stupid... because she could quote you "I'm not calling you stupid."

work on some counteracting phrases..... "I would never use that word to a colleague."
"Please review the items I've highlighted for you."

And report it all.

I also liked the breezy pleasant "Good Morning Name" as you go past. She wants a reaction and to hurt you.. so being seemingly unconcerned will thwart her.

You need to address this directly with her. Every time she makes a mistake raise it with her. Keep a record ... date/time/issue/response (do not put any names on this).
Stay very calm and state the issue precisely and ask if she needs any further help/training. Ask her to confirm she understands the issues raised.
If she snaps ... youve two choices ... ignore or ask her not to respond in such an unprofessional way in future as you are just doing your job abd you dont expect to be spoken to in this way.

I like this suggestion. I was going to say that she may be used to a more direct approach in the workplace and possibly has construed your attempts to soften corrections as patronising. However, I'm very surprised that as a new employee still in the probation period she feels comfortable being so rude to you. That isn't a good sign.