To ask if your brother/brothers had to help round the house when you were growing up?ere

[Netcurtainnelly]

My sisters and I used to do some vacumming at weekends and also had to set the table and clear the table after meals growing up Understandable.

I never remember my brother having to do anything. It was just us.
I feel it was because he was a boy.
Thinking about it, it really annoys me.
Im sure if my parents were still alive I would mention it and ask?

Was it the same for anyone else?
If it was, and your parent/s are alive would you consider asking them?

Its really wrong. He seemed to get out of everything.
Come to think of it as an adult, Ive never seen him wash or dry up or anything to help when we were both at parents.
Im sure Ive never seen him cook, wash up at all actually even as an independent adult.

It was also everyone but him that did chores.

AiBU to think my parents should have made him.
Tell me about your brothers and chores.
Was this normal?

I had to help with the cleaning and cooking, setting the table etc. My brother vacuumed one time, when he was an adult visiting home and my dad made fun of him for it.

My brother did have to help my dad with his endless DIY projects though which to be honest I had a lucky escape from.

Family of two boys and two girls and we all did the same chores. Also all taught to cook, clean, sew and knit, gardening etc.

I always did more than my step brother. My Mum stopped ironing my stuff when I was 11. Was still ironing for my step brother then he came back home after the break up of his first marriage in his 20s.

Ha. No.

4 brothers and 1 sister. Myself and my sister did more cooking ( because we enjoyed it ) but the boys did their share of dishes, vacuuming, laundry etc. Pretty equal although they definitely did way more gardening

Yes, both my brothers had chores too.

No mine didn’t. I remember being shouted at on a regular basis for not helping enough around the house. I used to have to polish, wash the dishes and clean the bathrooms from about 11-12 years old. Was cooking family meals from 14-15 but pretty sure he didn’t have to do anything other than bring his cups/glasses down from his bedroom and put his dirty washing in the washing basket. To be fair he’s not lazy now as an adult but I don’t think he was ever given a list of chores.

Yes, both of my brothers.

For reference they're now 58 and 68 years old.

Then again, my dad always chipped in with the housework too even though my mum never worked.

No I also was the only one who paid rent and my brothers were well paid whereas I wasn’t . We are no contact now

Yep, we had jobs that had to be done every week, as well as our own rooms. We alternated toilet/bathroom, took turns taking the rubbish out, washing up / drying up was alternated, etc etc.

But then my mum and dad both took care of household tasks fairly equally.

No. But neither did I. My mum was of the view that we had our whole adult lives to do chores. None of us grew up inept either. My brother in particular has always been very fastidious with housework.

I have a sister and a brother, none of us did anything tbh. The only time we had chores was when my mum had an operation and we shared out all the jobs between us and my stepdad for a few weeks while she recovered.

Only have brothers and they were never asked but I was always asked to set the table, help with dishes and help my mum with meals if we had family over. It really annoyed me and I would regularly point out the unfairness in it all.
At our family Christmas get together only myself helped my mum, my brothers sat with their wives enjoying the meal. I wasn’t asked to help but as a mum myself I could see my own mum getting tired and rushing about so it was kind to help but it did make me think about how my brothers wouldn’t think of helping because they were never asked/ told to growing up.

My brothers are older than me so I can't remember them before they were about 15yo. That was in mid 1970s.
They had gardening and cleaning duties (done for free)
When they were 18, my parents paid them to do large DIY project and they were paid to do many years of personal care for our grandfather when they were in their 20s.

I was the eldest by 8yrs my youngest brother and sister never did a thing because they were too young, my closest sibling a sister was too smart to waste her time cleaning or cooking, she was a grammer school student and I was comprehensive so it was all on me.

I was a child in 70s/80s and my brothers did nothing. I had to do dishes, helped with cooking prep, hanging out/bringing in clothes, bathroom. I even had to do their ironing (and I would purposely iron tramlines and other creases down the sleeves of their shirts/trousers in protest 🤣).

All of them, when they left home, managed to work it out themselves pretty quickly.

I grew up in a house where my dad did at least 50% of the housework yet I still feel I was expected to help more than my (older) brother. To be fair he was a bit more difficult (undiagnosed autistic IMO). I now have a similar set up with an autistic son and I am mega conscious of not letting him off the hook!

No! My dear parents decided when I was 15 that I didn’t do enough around the house (not true - I did the washing up, ironing, cooking, baking and laundry). I told them that I wasn’t born to be their unpaid help and I would stop doing any chores until my brothers pitched in. My punishment was that I wasn’t allowed out unless it was for school. My response was to stay in my bedroom until I left home at 17. We didn’t speak for years.

There were 4 of us, only 1 brother, he is the youngest.

He never did anything. Literally didn't even pick his own plate up after dinner.

Hes 48 now and out DM still treats him totally different to the rest of us.
Makes me sick!

Im 60+, 1 sister, 1 brother (middle child). All expected to do jobs.
Husband had to make his own sandwiches from aged 3 ... step upto kitchen counter as mum's brothers cod not do anything.

He did the bins, fetching coal/sticks for the fire, did dome cooking occasionally. Always seemed to have to go to the toilet when the dishes needed done. I don’t recall him ever having to clean a bathroom.

Wow ... that's really tough. Well done you for standing up for yourself. How old are you (ish) if you dont mind me asking?

My parents weren't strict on chores but certainly no child was treated any different because of their sex. My sister and I didn't do more than he did, or were expected to. Being the youngest, I possibly got away with doing the least, I dare say!
Editing to add - my siblings were born in the 80s, me in 90.

I was always expected to help with the housework and cleaning and my brother wasn't and there was no ambiguity about it - when I asked why he didn't have to help and I did, the answer was 'because he's a boy'. The jobs I had to do included tidying and cleaning his bedroom as well as my own, btw. This was in the 80s and yes, I did resent it, I did object and was told what an awful child I was for that. My mother admits she still automatically will serve men first at the dinner table and always give them the best cut of meat or the best of whatever food option is available. My father was beyond useless, never did a thing around the house and still believes that's right, and my brother has grown up absolutely fucking useless and selfish. He wonders why he struggles to find a decent woman and I point out that it's because he's a selfish manchild with very little to offer. He doesn't argue that point but still wonders why women aren't madly attracted to that, having been put on a pedestal by my mother all his life. My mother sees her sister behave the same way with her own son and daughter and criticises it endlessly, with no sense of irony whatsoever.

My mother can see now that it's not how things should be but still admits she can't stop herself from behaving that way.

Yes because thankfully neither of my parents acted like they did in the 1950s. Both my brothers had chores to and also my dad cooked meals, did housework and ironed our school uniforms.

I remember someone telling my mum she was lucky that she had a husband that "helped" round the house to which my mum replied that my dad wasn't "helping" given it was his house too and if he wanted to stay married to my mum then he'd be expected to contribute to the upkeep of it!