AIBU to keep quiet about a competition cash win?

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I’ve won £1000 in a competition but not yet told anyone as I don’t have the money as yet (it does seem like a genuine win!).

At first I thought of telling my immediate family (DH and 3 teens) and sharing it out equally but I’m now thinking of staying quiet, keeping it in my account and just using it for carefree treats for the family as I fear the kids would go on a reckless spending spree (but maybe that’s a good thing too?)

AIBU to keep quiet about the money?

Why would you keep it a secret from your partner? How would you feel if he kept that amount of money from you? Especially as you say it's a significant sum to you.

£1000 is a good amount if it’s just for you to spend on whatever you want, when you start splitting that with others, it’s a small amount!

Because she's greedy and shady

I'd tell my husband.

She's planning to spend it on treats for the family you numpty

I voted YABU in that you should have enough authoritativeness to be able to share this news whilst not permitting your teenagers to control how it is spent. Lead your family more decisively with the adults in charge. Then no need for secrecy.

Again.. your opinion isn't fact.

It's not mean or nasty and a number of others feel the same.

AIBU is a matter of opinion and as this is a public forum, I can express my opinion.

She's not unreasonable not to say anything, because it's not much money. Simple.

Def. Its not life changing money and you dont have it yet. Maybe tell your partner when it arrives unless you think he would take it/spend it for you but I wouldn't tell the kids.

Ah another day, another MN double standard post 🙄 How would you feel if your husband won £1k and didn’t tell you OP? Pretty shit I’d imagine. You do you but I wouldn’t do that to my husband.

I'd maybe mention it to my husband but not the kids then treat them now & again to something you wouldn't normally do.

Well no, and neither is yours. You're absolutely entitled to express your opinion and I'm entitled to respond to it, that's how this works. Many people have agreed with my post that you were being shitty to the OP, so if that wasn't your intention, perhaps consider how you phrase things in future.

I won £1000 last year, we put it towards the a family summer holiday. Husband was in the room when my name was called out, so there was no hiding it even if I wanted too.

I'll phrase things how I see fit thank you very much.

I won £6k last year and put it in my online savings account and have used it for treats, inc. extra spending money on our family holiday.

I didn’t tell DH about the win as it was related to my hobby so I don’t feel the need to mention it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tricky one, lots of equally-valid ways to deal with this windfall.

I'd look first to maybe adding it to my Rainy Day Fund - just that little cushion against unexpected expense like car breakdown of the boiler not working.

If you feel you've got that covered, would £1k make a difference in where you could holiday this year? Maybe reserve it for that.

"Keeping it in my account and just using it for carefree treats for the family" - how would that work in practice? How would you deal with the inevitable 'how can we afford this?' and the equally inevitable 'why can't we, we did last month!?!' after the £1k is all spent?

Splitting it five ways, £200 each for you, DH and 3 teens - has the advantage that it's transparent, everyone gets to choose their own way to spend it, for the teens maybe it helps them learn to prioritise their spending (or not!), and, when it's gone it's gone.

Lots of other variations

• purchase of something for the home
• half to you and DH, half split between DC
• £750 to Rainy Day fund, £50 each for fun
• some other split

I'd look to keeping it in reserve (Rainy Day Fund) myself, but I'm cautious with money.

I would think carefully what you want to do with the money before letting others know, then talk to your DH and then announce the results to teens. E.g you would want to buy yourself a new phone and happy to share the rest- buy phone and than think if you want to do a dinner or show or something else for the family and when you’ve decided- tell family.

It's equal to three months' Carers Allowance for me!

Keep quiet until you know what you want to do with the money.
Hopefully, you can plan a nice treat for the immediate family and have something left to treat yourself especially.
However, I would say, that anyone winning a substantial sum of cash would be wise to use it to paying off debts first, should they have any.
I'm not saying you personally, have debts but many people have a huge balance on credit cards and suchlike and only pay off the minimum, building up a millstone around their necks.
Once a debt is fully paid it's easier to save for treats in the future.
Enjoy your windfall.

OP this is your second thread about this win and I get the feeling there's a bit of a back story, which you should probably share if you want sensible input on what you should do with the money.

Do you feel like you currently don't get a fair share of the available 'fun' money in your family and you want to treat yourself for once? Perhaps you should do that, with most of the money at least.

Also, what is best depends on the state of the family finances. If you're currently struggling and a moderate unexpected expense of a few hundred pounds like a car repair or broken appliance would be a real stretch to pay, then you should probably save most of the money so you have an emergency fund for these sorts of eventualities. Perhaps get a small treat like a takeaway or a day out, but save most of it.

However if you're financially comfortable and already have savings and are able to buy yourself things you want, you could share some or all of it, spend some, save some, overpay the mortgage if you have it, whatever, it's not such a big deal if this isn't a significant amount of money to you.

Congratulations on your win OP! I would try and think of the money as a 'future friend'. The peace of mind that comes with having a little put aside for the unexpected expenses of family life will far outweigh the fleeting pleasure of treats! Also, I would do a stock up on non perishables & household products then go and have a lovely coffee and cake somewhere really nice to reflect on how sensible & good I am

Congrats OP, that's a lovely win!

I'd tell my DH but wouldn't tell DC. I'd feel that way about any amount of money... whether it was £100, £1,000 or £100k+. Is there a reason you don't want to tell your DH?

I do think it's up to you what happens with the money though, it's your win after all. Using it for carefree treats for all the family sounds fab.