Told to cover up

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I was in a cafe earlier breastfeeding my 4 month old. A lady sat down next to me and struck up conversation, she then proceeded to state that I could ‘buy a cover up for breastfeeding’, that she could ‘see my nipple’ and that I had ‘everything on show’.

This was not the case. I was very discreet, wearing a vest under my jumper and a jumper on top covering my breast. She couldn’t see my nipple unless she put her head right next to my breast…
I couldn’t believe that she effectively went out of her way to say this to me and be rather nasty.

It’s the first time someone has said this to me. I told her that I’m not interested in what she has to say, but I was actually upset. I know I shouldn’t care, but breastfeeding is hard work and I’m proud of it, and now I feel embarrassed and paranoid.

Why are people like this?

THIS! Breasts number 1 function are for feeding, simple as that! Anybody who has a problem with that is the problem! When my dds were tiny I would have loved it if anyone took me on..... I had a whole speech lined up, I was genuinely sad I never got to use it. I loved feeding my 2, it was literally the only time in my life I have ever got my boobs out in public, it was v liberating! My finest moment was clearing the tables around me in a service station in a snow storm when there wasn't a table to be had! My most memorable was the first time I fed in public alone, this amazing older lady came and say at my table and kept me company while I fed, she chatted to me and told me I was doing an amazing job...... my dd is 19 now, I'll never forget her

Because the OP said she was told to cover up but she wasn't.

The woman told her you can get nursing covers and pointed out her nipple was on show.

Perhaps she thought the OP didn't realise there were "gadgets" to cover yourself if you want to? I had no idea a nursing cover was a thing til I had to do battle feeding DS in public.

No and no. Even on this thread we have examples of men and young women.

But keep on with the ageism and misogyny.

I’d say ‘stop staring you perv’, cannot be doing with busy bodies

It doesn’t f ing matter if you can see your nipple!!!

anyone says again just tell them don’t be so misogynistic and carry on

I am absolutely amazed that you would think it acceptable to tell a stranger - albeit a rude one - to fuck off. In fact I am amazed at 95% of the rude responses on this thread.
Why do MNetters think they sound strident and confident when they tell strangers to fuck/piss off or call them a bellend/cunt? I can only imagine this is what they would do in their head when really they would say nothing of the kind.
Two wrongs do not make a right.

I can’t believe in 2026 this is still happening to mothers who are just trying to feed their babies !
NOONE could see your nipple because it was in the baby’s actual mouth. Thats how breastfeeding works.
you should be proud of yourself and you have a legal right to feed your baby anywhere without abuse and bullying. Shame on that woman.
are you a member of your local LaLecheLeague for coffee mornings and support. Or breastfeeding network? Also breastfeeding FB groups too.
keep on boobin on mama! You got this !

I got one complaint (BF 5 DC!) but I was with other people so we just laughed at her - yes, it was a woman over 45!

I spend a lot of time in Mallorca and have, many times, seen local women (looking glamorous) feeding their babies as they walk down the street. So fabulously no-nonsense.

I wish you’d told her to shove off. It’s absolutely ridiculous to tell a bf mother to cover up. It’s a joke. 🤬

I think it’s the level of outrage about how wrong this is - especially from another women!!!

40+ years ago I fed my babies on planes, in meetings, here, there and everywhere . Never got a bad comment.
Of course my grandmother fed her 8 babies while keeping a shop, travelling around factories buying leather etc etc. No one apparently objected .....I guess working mothers had to then if babies were to survive. Maybe it was the arrival of 'artificial' milks to buy that altered things?

Just focus on feeding your baby. If anyone has something bad to say about someone feeding their baby then they are the problem x

Anyone that has an issue with someone feeding their baby, no matter how that may be, breast or formula, is wrong.

Ignore her. Some people are awful and some are nice. She would have been awful no matter who you were or what you were doing. I got some lovely support and comments when I breastfed, I including a group of women paying for my drink without me knowing whilst I was out alone with me baby.
Look around and think to yourself that 99% of the people around you support you and are proud of you.

Ignore the daft old bat.

Hope you’re OK

Were there any seats she could have used that were NOT next to another person? It's weird (and possibly kind of rude) that she chose to sit right next to you AND start a conversation when you were obviously concentrating on something else. You might have been targeted, but I wouldn't give it any more thought. You're comfortable with the arrangement you've worked out when you ave to breastfeed in public and it's not required that you cover up even as much as you did. She was the one doing something odd/possibly offensive, not you.

I’m so sorry you were upset. She was entirely in the wrong. 💐

Please don’t let it make you hesitate to feed in public in future.

I fed both of mine for 18 months in all sorts of places including church and mostly only got encouraging smiles.

I did once have an elderly lady march up to us in a cafe and braced for a comment but she said in a very “no nonsense” tone that my children were beautiful and it was wonderful to see babies being breastfed. I nearly burst into tears.

Well done on telling her you weren't interested. These type of things catch me off guard and I'm never quick enough to answer back. Last time I went for a coffee, I was settling my baby to sleep in the pram when someone interrupted with a similar comment as if offering help but it only came across as judgmental. Keep breastfeeding, don't be put off and enjoy getting out and about with your baby. Being mum to a new baby is hard enough without unsolicited advice of strangers. You're doing great!

crack on, OP. She’s bonkers. you should be only proud of breastfeeding your baby. Anyone making you feel otherwise is either jealous or looking to victimise someone. New mums are vulnerable so can become easy targets to vultures. Do not tolerate it.

the more confident I became with feeding the more freely i fed however and wherever. Using no cover used to set my own mum on edge sometimes but I didn’t pander to her awkwardness, i just kept on going, most of the time it was too hot to faff with a big cover and tbh i couldn’t be arsed. Honestly being a new mum you don’t have capacity to bend to other people’s emotions they just need to learn to get on with it. Not your problem!

I am 70 and I breast fed all my children whenever and wherever they were hungry. Including in cafes, churches for example. So did the majority of my friends. I never had a negative remark from anyone.
It isn't an age thing it is a level of ignorance thing.

Random thought, do these idiots avoid European beaches where women sunbahh th he topless?!

Fuck off is a full sentence next time op.

I would have been tempted to get both boobs fully out in these circumstances. Maybe this woman would like to eat her lunch with a blanket over her head.

The thing that worries me on this thread is that anyone at all has voted YABU! ❤️

It’s a generation thing, even my mum in her early 60’s struggled to understand how I felt so confident BF in public and suggested I buy a cover. I did BF 2 babies and luckily had no negative comments while being out and about