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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to remove my daughter from ballet classes?

85 replies

BonfireNight1993 · 10/01/2026 18:20

My DD is 3, and she goes to a weekly ballet class. It's a great set up because it's near our house, at a good time on a weekend morning, and means we have some time together without her newborn younger sister. She loves wearing the tutu and she professes to want to go to ballet every week. But once we get there she doesn't follow the class at all. The other children broadly do what they're instructed, whereas my DD only joins in the bits she especially likes, and otherwise will go into a corner and explore, do her own dance, come and sit with me and watch the class, etc. The issue is that other children then see that this is an option and often copy her, meaning that they're not following the class properly. I worry that other parents find this frustrating.

I do tell her to join in, or encourage her, and I will sit with her in the circle, but then other kids also want their parents in the circle, which causes much the same problem. If it were a more official educational capacity then I'd be inclined to push her to follow the rules more, but it is on a weekend and supposed to be fun, so I'm in two minds. We need an activity on a weekend morning which gets us out of the house, doesn't involve screens and isn't impacted by terrible weather, and she says she wants to keep doing it. But I do worry that maybe we should bow out.

I sense she may have ADHD (I was diagnosed in childhood) but she's too young for me to look at having her diagnosed, and if she does have ADHD then I'm keen for her to learn coping mechanisms.

OP posts:
MIKEAY · 12/01/2026 21:17

If she and you are both enjoying it, and no one has actually complained, then crack on imo 😄

3/4 is a tricky age for classes. The parent is often still expected/required to attend, and the child is starting to be expected to have self control and an understanding of appropriate behaviour. But they're still so tiny and lots can't, especially if a parent is there.

My child still absolutely won't do as she's told and join in with lessons if I'm there (she's 5.5 now and thankfully at a class where parents stay outside). I remember stressing so much when she was three, worrying if people were judging us etc. In hindsight it was all totally "normal" behaviour and I wish I hadn't worried so much 😊

PurpleThistle7 · 12/01/2026 21:24

I think it’s not a great fit. My daughter would have found this quite difficult (she started baby ballet at 3 and was intensely interested and still a dancer now at 13). I’d look for another sort of dance or gymnastics or similar. Something bouncier.

ClaredeBear · 12/01/2026 21:29

I would speak to the teacher and make your mind up then. I hope she continues to attend.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 12/01/2026 22:24

As a former early years teacher I would not expect a three year old to follow a class the whole time. How long is it? Keep going and let her be.

Mischance · 12/01/2026 22:31

She's 3. Time enough for classes when she is older. Just knock it on the head.

taxi4ballet · 13/01/2026 16:01

HairyToity · 10/01/2026 22:39

My DD did ballet. I used to have to do it with her, and I wasn't the only parent. It sounds very normal to me. If she enjoys it, stick with it.

In our experience, the exact opposite was true. Parents were asked to come in and watch on the last session of each half-term, and that was it. The teacher told us that parents sitting in class every week tended to distract the kids too much, and they couldn't pay attention to what was going on. My dd started a few weeks before she turned 3, and she was fine. Some kids are ready for it and others aren't. @BonfireNight1993 I'd speak to the teacher and ask for their advice.

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 13/01/2026 16:33

Honestly get her into something more active. Ballet is very 'listening' focused with a lot of sedate airy fairy stuff - your kid sounds like she needs to burn off steam. Get her into something that has her running about, learning to work as a team and tire her out.
She is very young to be fully focused, especially if she has the demands of nursery as well.

taxi4ballet · 13/01/2026 17:14

'a lot of sedate airy fairy stuff'

Er - no it isn't. It takes a great deal of control and physical strength to look airy fairy.

Hillarious · 13/01/2026 22:38

If your DD is distracting other children even if no-one has said anything I think you know you’re being unfair on others.

I tried my DD with baby ballet at 3yrs, but it didn’t work out. She started again in Reception with a pre-primary class, which parents could stay at. She then carried on to Grade 8.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/01/2026 23:09

Sounds like she is distracting the class and at 3 should be able to follow /obey the teacher

equally the teacher should be able to try and guide 3yr into doing what she wants them to do

if she hasn’t said anything to you but you know your child is annoying the other parents then stop the class

and Find something for parent and child

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