To send out save the dates for a 40th birthday celebration?

[catching]

To be held in May. Everyone very busy, go on lots of holidays etc.

Why not, if you really want them to come?

I might phrase it as more of a “heads up, full plan to follow”.

I don’t think you can get offended if they don’t save it though.

I don't think it's a bad idea if you want maximum attendance and are definitely going to invite them.
An informal save-the-date thing. Especially if you're planning on providing the food too

Yes dinner paid for in a private room. Not inviting that many people so need to know if people can’t make it really!

I’d send a text message just to let everyone know date, if you are talking about formal save the date cards I think a bit over the top (and will look it!) for a birthday party.

You wouldn’t normally get an rsvp to a “save the date” so still won’t know who will definitely make it.

If you need people to rsvp then just send the invites. As said up thread people don’t reply to save the dates.

I would make this explicitly clear in that case.

And avoid the May half-term holidays if you can.

May isn’t THAT far away really if your social circle gets very busy. I’d just send proper invites now and skip faffing with save the dates.

Just send it as an invitation to dinner, if you know what you're doing why can't you just send them invitations now?

I already have plans in my diary for next summer! camping/ birthdays/ festivals/ special days/ gigs!

I am always delighted to know what is going on...don't by shy op tell people!

Mumsnet have previously put me off sending invites ‘early’! I’m scarred!

This.

I would. We’ve got our holidays booked, weekends busy for children’s extracurricular activities, marches, performances etc for next 6 moths. I prefer being organised with dates so go for it!

Sounds like us and our friends! Plus the room I’ve managed to bag for dinner is like gold-dust

I would. My circle of friends and I are very busy, we’ve been known to book important birthday dates over a year in advance 😆

I would be more inclined to put it as checking availability for that date - as you only have a small number of attendees, should you find that a large number of them or your closest friends can't make it, you'd probably want to change the date (appreciate as it's a birthday it's not necessarily a moveable feast, but you have the options of the weekend before or the weekend after). I would say 'I'm planning a 40th birthday meal on the evening of 2nd May - my treat! Please let me know if you can join me and pencil in the date. I'll confirm the definite date and venue as soon as I can."

I did send an informal email quite early (earlier than you would be) for my 40th as my birthday is in December and it is extremely difficult to pin down a large group. I just said what date I had planned and where it would be and that more info would follow but asked if anyone knew already they couldn't make it they could let me know. I was a bit nervous about it but everyone was very positive and two people were able to decline with loads of notice.
So I would say definitely do it!

Edited for a typo

Obviously do it. People are busy. Doesn’t have to be formal, just a group WhatsApp setting out date, time, plan - job done

Defo not unreasonable. If we are having a party or event that we want close friends to attend, we let them know as soon as we have a date in mind. People are so busy that it’s necessary!

I love being told early because I like to plan. I cant imagine why people would be put out by this. The only thing is people might not know their plans yet so they might take a while to reply

I’d send invites/call/text whatever you were planning to do, emphasise you need firm numbers and an rsvp date. Then text/call a reminder two/three weeks out. And again a couple days before.

This is a better idea. Or do a WhatsApp poll with a few dates for people to choose. I think that's what I did, then chose the date based on the responses.

That’s for a kids birthday party 😅

What is?

Send the invitation now. Most people if they’re busy will be grateful of the notice.

I would also send a reminder though, because people will be disorganised and not put it in their calendar.