A surprise that I don't want!

[ElatedPanda]

I'm at the age where I've discovered that I don't like being in large groups and standing for a long time panics me as I've had times where I've felt faint, so will now avoid large crowds. Last year I had a chance to go to some mini festivals, but decided quite close that to the time that I really couldn't do it. I felt anxious at the thought of being in a crowd. Being pushed and shoved. I've discussed this this with DH. He hasn't listened and has now 'surprised' me and bought tickets to a big concert in a big city. TBH it's not a band I'm really keen on, but we are going with a group of friends. I said that I hoped we had seats, he explained we are right in the middle, standing. When I explained that I don't like doing that, he has said I'm ungrateful. TBH he doesn't show much empathy at my age with certain symptoms of peri-menopause showing anyway, and I feel caught in a position now. I will have this worry for the next few months leading up to the concert. But I can't seem to get across how anxious this is making me feel.

He's being very manipulative, buying something he knows you won't like and treating your concerns as something just to get over and then telling you you should be grateful.

I totally get this, I’m ok with controlled crowds and the last thing we did was Disney on Ice but I’ve also been to other crowded events and don’t love it, I’ve also been to standing tickets concerts before at big places like the O2 and being 5ft4 it sucks. Sucks even more if it’s a band you don’t even like that much. Just don’t go, let him sulk or throw crap at you for it and respond with ‘ok’ ….and divorce papers.

I’m past the menopause years now, but the fainting and feeling of panic is partly due to not being able to regulate body temperature effectively when you overheat from a hot flush. It’s perfectly reasonable to avoid situations and places where you become a sweaty, shaky mess who is prone to fainting.