Help with social services and CFA.

[TrishyLou1111]

My 17 year old daughter was sexually abused by a male in november 2025.
She was living with her nan at the time it happened and returned home a week later.
I immediately called the police and my DD stated she wanted to press charges. Legalities began and she did a video interview ect. Bail conditions put in place for this young man and investigation still ongoing.

I have 4 other children and I am currently pregnant. My question, why are social services doing a children's and families assessment? They've checked bedrooms, contacted schools etc etc, im obviously not concerned but I feel as though ive done something wrong? Like im the perpetrator.

Is this standard procedure? Or AIBU and completely stressed for no reason?

Perhaps they thought the reason she was living with her nan was because you had too many children to cope with?

It sounds pretty par for the course to check out the whole family in a situation like that.

I hope your daughter is ok.

Possibly so your DD can have a supportive team who can answer questions when it comes to court. The male involved will have a lawyer who will ask nasty questions and. make veiled accusations about DD and her private/family life.
Hope justice will be done without too much trauma

She was living with nan due to the logistics of college and nans being closer to said college.

Im able to cope with my chikdren and havent has any SS involvement in 17 years of parenting so find this quite anxiety provoking.

Shes much better now shes settled back home. He is still at the college and my DD has been removed. Doesnt seem fair but shes looking for work now.

Same reason health visitors visit to check on new parents to make sure children are being cared for correctly and are not another statistic among the other never ending statistics

I understand this. What I dont understand is, shes the victim. I feel like they are.tsrgeting where she is safest. It doesnt seem to make sense. My children are happy, clean, fed and well rounded children and as ive previously stated, I have no concerns regarding them. I just dont understand why this is a procedure and how my other children are now at potential risk?

It's quite normal to open all the children in a household if they're doing an assessment on another. Good practice actually.

It's not fair at all OP, but they would do the same checks if she was living just you and her.
They might visit (probably not, might just ring you) to check all the family, including you are ok, coping ok, especially with your pregnancy and other kids.
Did the assault happen at her nans house?

How is the OP's "pregnancy and other kids" relevant to her eldest DD being sexually assaulted at college? Why is it relevant to anything that DD was staying over at a relative's house? Would posters saying its ok expect that the male suspect's family home be investigated, his siblings' schools etc be contacted and his parents subjected to a CFA assessment?

There's something off here OP, have you asked for an explanation from social services? I'd want to know who asked for this assessment and why. Did they just contact you out of the blue and you let it happen without challenge? It might be completely innocent or normal for this to happen, but you need to get proactive. Sorry you and your family are going through this after what happened to your DD.

Exactly this.

Dont get me wrong, the social worker is lovely but I dont understand why all of my other children are subjects in this. Im not concerned as they're well looked after etc but I feel its not very fair.

My DD was sexually assaulted, has been told she cant return to college and hes roaming free, doing what he likes. There are bail conditions in place for him and this is why the social worker has said a safety plan needs to be in place, but it doesnt make sense why all of my other children and myself are in this. I honestly feel as though im the one being investigated. I have never been in this situation so ive kind of just gona along with it. She initially said that it was support for my DD then said when she came to see her, I just need to check the other children and their rooms to tick a box. I obviously didnt refused, my home is clean etc so thought nothing of it.

She said shes nearly finished her assessment now. So I guess ill find out what's happening.

Hi. They have already visited and dont get the wrong the social worker is lovely. But i dont understand why we are subjects in this too.

Ive sent her a message asking for more information. Shes basically said to offer support for my daughter if needed. But why contact my other childrens school etc. Yes the assault happened at her nans house. She woke up to him penetrating her. Hes 19 for reference.

I honestly feel like im being investigated.

That’s not true at all.
I probably would’ve refused their intervention, especially as she’s over 16 there’s not a lot they could do.
What’s happened Is somebody has flagged a potential issue ie too many children and you are now on their radar and will be given extremely helpful advice. Like your bathroom is too small etc

Can i refuse their intervention? They have done a child and family assessment thing. I dont even know why.

I mean, the house is nice and we are okay but what the fuck haha. I cant get my head around it all.

How come your DD needs to stop her education?

Ask the SW for support to get DD on a course elsewhere if her choosing. She’s the victim here.

He is - of course by law - innocent until proven guilty but plans to keep her safe shouldn’t include removing her from education or a supportive friendship group.

Support should be about helping her navigate life as she would have prior to assault withe the same outcomes she would have had prior to the assault and support to reach this.

You have a SW so I would use them to ask them “how are you going to support DD to …..”. Put the ball firmly in their court to provide help rather than make some report to stop a defense lawyer ripping her to shreds in court.

I would strongly complain to the college if she's been told she can't go back but the boy in question can. He should be banned and she should be able to go back or at worst both should be allowed back or both banned.

Of course you can what they will do is imply to you that if you don’t voluntarily allow this they will go and get a warrant so to speak to forcibly do it if they are so inclined - That’s the worst case scenario.
If they meet the threshold to get a warrant, that’s not what it’s called, but that’s what it means
Then there really is a serious problem and you do need to cooperate
But the chances are are there is no serious reason otherwise they would’ve flagged it by now and you would know about it
I would never let them through the front door ever again after what they put us through
As I say findings included that the rental property had a bathroom that was too small
What the fuck they thought I could do about that I don’t know
But it was just silly little comments that they felt they had to make because they had to say something to fill up the paper and make themselves look useful

I agree with accessing as much support for your daughter as possible. I should say that.
Because as the other post, I mentioned you have to be extremely careful that social services aren’t gathering information that the defence Solicitor can use against her
They wouldn’t do that on purpose, but it has been done. Chaotic background mental instability implied.
They can always withdraw the comment, but the trouble is the jury never unhears it

Because your child was sexually abused… they’re assessing to make sure she is now safe and has the resources and help and a happy home to avoid it happening again and ensure her life isn’t destroyed by it.

You think that children who are sexually abused shouldn’t have interventions?

Do you mind sharing why they were involved with you?

Honestly i cant understand how her sexual assault has lead to myself and my children being under scrutiny. I totally understand if there were genuine concerns regarding my parenting or children. Ive never had social services involvement, ever. Not that I look down on it but ive never felt the need for that additional support.

Im going to speak to her on monday. Not once was i made aware that this was optional. She came bursting through my door, walking around my property, spoke to my children, one who's special needs, contacted schools and GPs. Im like what the actual fuck. How has this even come about. Yes ive got 5 children and im pregnant but financially we are okay. Life is good. I feel violated.

At what point did I say she shouldn't have help or intervention? Im looking for guidance as to why my other children are under fire.

It’s standard practice OP. They need to assess risk to you daughter and to the other children. It’s not a criticism of you. They need to ascertain if needs are being met and if any additional support is needed, you don’t need to worry.

Because he has bail conditions they wont allow her in the same vicinity as him. So shes had to leave.

He has admitted his charge but I feel that the police officer felt sorry for him and because he said that he thought she was awake, despite her being asleep, that my daughter wont have a leg to stand on. Even though when confronted by message he admitted that he was confused and when he realised she was asleep and she moved he stopped.

I cant get my head around it

Thank you x

As a victim, they need to assess her home life and check there aren't any further safeguarding risks. If they did not do this they could be missing large chunks of what her life is like.
Many kids are living in less than suitable situations so they need to protect the vulnerable.
You've done nothing wrong so no need to worry.

What on earth is the op supposed to do if her bloody bathroom is too small ? Hardly helpful unless of course ss have the budget to build an extension with a couple of ensuits...

I pretty much said the same when I read that on my section 7 report