Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Yeah because she’s the only one in the nursery to leave her child in there for that long by the sounds of it. I think they would rather lose one customer and be able to go home earlier. Apparently there’s a shortage of nursery places so I don’t think it will take them long to fill the space.

Unwell enough to be off of nursery which doesn't always happen when it's a cold. If everyone did it, many people would lose their jobs before the issue would resolve itself.

You would? Does that mean you haven't actually used a nursery?

Ridiculous. If leaving a child in nursery for a full day is too long for children that age, childcare settings wouldn’t be able to offer those hours to children that age in the first place.

I work In a nursery and the parents never see us waiting in our coats and hats. we don’t go and get those until we are ready to walk out

however if this was your daughters first day they’d of been wondering how late you’d of been and then they’ll now always be thinking and communicating that you’re child will more than likely be the last one each day that they are there because it happens as a nursery practitioner you know who’s going to be in every day no matter what you know who’s going to be late collecting you know this because of their patterns and behaviours and they are learning yours. So maybe next Friday when you collect at 6:20 you’ll probably see hats and coats again but they’ll be expecting it to happen.

i personally don’t even like nurseries and i put my daughter into a school nursery rather than a private one from a childminder.

also no one wants to be at work at 20 past 6 you included obviously but needs must for you. Can’t you complete work while your child is in bed?

Then why did they tell OP to send her on Fridays when she originally requested Thursdays?

Except they offered her that day because they’re ’quiet’ on that day. If they had people to fill the place they wouldn’t be quiet that day, would they?

No they wouldn’t. It wouldn’t take long for the germs to stop spreading if a new rule came in one day about not bringing your child in unless 100% symptomless.

It’s common and unavoidable for many working families. My children did long days from under 2. If they hadn’t, I couldn’t have got into work on time. Of course, I would have preferred to have been with them but I wasn’t a bad parent for making sure they were somewhere safe, stimulating and caring while I went to work to provide for them.

You (and lots of others) argued on another thread how it’s necessary to keep older children in childcare while on Mat leave with new baby because nursery places are so hard to get. Make your mind up.

Either way, it’s definitely not worth to have to suddenly work extra hours on a Friday just because of one child.

That rule is never going to happen so people will continue to send their child to nursery and school when they have colds but are otherwise well because they need to work and can't risk losing their jobs.

Time off from work needs to be kept for when they are actually feeling ill such as vomiting bugs.

It’s a matter of opinion, not legality 🤣
I just know how wrecked toddlers get after a full day and how it impacts on them when the other kids go because most of the time they get fractious and keep looking at the door. If I could avoid that, I would.
Different if it’s OP working hours but with OU it’s optional when you do the work, so if she can get her earlier it would be kinder imo. I say this as someone who has a BA from the OU and did it with 3 babies/toddlers, so I understand the struggles.

Sorry I can’t see if you’ve answered this, do you have a job?

No one said you were a bad parent.
I said as the OP hasn’t got set working hours it would be kinder. I also used a nursery as a working parent, but if I could have avoided doing the full session I would, because IMO it’s not ideal having sent from the other side .

I’m sure the OP has set up her week to be as kind to her child as possible with all the other things that have to be considered and planned for their family. Speculating otherwise is unkind.

It was also my first day of having her at full hours… I don’t have a crystal ball unfortunately there was no way for me to know she would be last. she has been to this nursery several times before for settling in sessions, this was the first full day. I know my child, I know she loves attending these sessions, if it was too much and she was struggling I would expect the nursery to call me to let me know, at which point I would’ve come to get her. Fortunately, they had been messaging me all day about how amazing and how happy she was. I would hardly call it lack of common sense or lack of empathy

This narrative is ridiculous. No set hours for university officially, but they are set because I cannot just work whenever I feel like it. I also cannot pull time out of thin air that I don’t have, so flexible in theory, but that flexibility is only as flexible as the individual person can be. Flexibility means you fit it around your day, not that the day itself is flexible

If

If it’s not worth it then they shouldn’t have accepted us, even though I’d made it clear when we signed up months ago that she would be dropped off between 8-8.30 and picked up between 6-6.25

Indeed, children vary greatly. Two of mine scarcely had a day off from preschool care through to A levels. One had a few incidences, maybe a dozen across that time. One had a phase of a year-eighteen months where they caught every bug going (turned out to be an underlying issue).

Yes this is the key point. They are taking money for a service and then not providing that service in an appropriate manner. They are not obliged to sell the service level they do but having contracted for those hours, they are required to honour them.

Exactly!!! I can’t say how many times I’ve replied to people on here saying I was searching for a private nursery that offered half days, NONE do because most parents need full days and therefore half days are bad for business. If they wanted to leave early on a Friday, then they should’ve let me have a Thursday. At first I was unsure if I was being sensitive to their behaviour, as I had little experiences with nursery managers and what is normal, but now after the actually helpful comments have advised me otherwise, I know it was out of order

I did about 2-3 hours' a week study with the OU for my BA...got myself a Desmond (TuTu).

How? What did you study? Part or full time?? I cannot fathom how it would take only 2-3 hours. Besides, I’m aiming for a first. It’s what is expected in the industry I’d like to work in

You dropped off and picked up DD within the stated nursery times. The nursery workers are totally out of order and I'd be making a complaint to the management and expecting the staff to be at least talked to about having DD ready to go and making her feel like she should have already left. That's rude and rubbish caring.

However I also feel sorry for your little girl having such a long day. It was her first day, she's under 3 and made to have an 11 hour day in a new environment, being the last one to be collected. Personally, unless you were on an unavoidable long shift somewhere, I think that's pretty harsh for your daughter. While the staff getting ready to go won't have helped, I suspect she had been exhausted, over stimulated and desperate to go home for some hours. Ending around 3-4 would be much more appropriate.

You’re within your rights to pick her up at 6:20 so just continue doing that if it doesn’t brother you that they make her feel like she overstayed her welcome. If it bothers you then your other option is to stop sending her there. I don’t think complaining will get you anywhere. There’s abuse etc happening in nurseries that needs dealing with, I don’t think anyone would waste their time looking into such a non-issue/petty argument between you and the staff.