To be concerned DD is behind peers and young for her age?

[pinkjellyfishy]

DD is the youngest in year 3. She still enjoys Peppa Pig, bed time stories (Julia Donaldson type with lots of pictures), playing with baby dolls, her play kitchen and similar wooden toys. She still believes in Father Christmas and fairies (I’m not too concerned about this), however a lot of children in her class do not and tell her they’re not real and seem to judge her it.

She used to love reading the Biff and Chip books, but since moving into year 3 we are STRUGGLING to get her to read chapter books if they don’t have a lot of pictures. She’s not finished one chapter book for the entire school year. I admit this is partly my fault because I need to push her and support her more in doing so. But she kicks up such a fuss and is so tired after school and dinner that getting her to actually read a few pages ends in tears and frustration. She can read fine, however she just doesn’t enjoy it anymore.

Other children in her class have finished reading the first few Harry Potter books, have seen the films, and seem to enjoy more advanced books and films. She has no interest in watching Harry Potter, Wicked or other popular live action films. They laugh and make fun of her for liking Peppa Pig so she has become quite self conscious about it and gets upset.

This year I have really noticed a difference in the children (especially the girls) where most seem more mature than her. She’s struggling to make friends and is often teary at bedtime saying no one likes her and that her friends run away from her at play time. I feel awful for her and so helpless.

I’ve not spent much time around girls her age as we’ve not had many play dates due to busy schedules so I’m not sure what is ‘normal’ at age 7-8yrs.

My gut feeling is that she is probably neurodiverse. ADHD, possibly AuADHD.

I’ve mentioned my concerns to DH about her seeming ‘young’ compared to children her age, but he insists she’s perfectly normal.

AIBU to feel a bit concerned, or is she just being a typical 7yr old?

I didn't want to read and run, but have you asked for a meeting with her teacher? I think speaking to them about your concerns would be a good first step.

Mine just didn’t like reading 🤷‍♀️ Def still believed in fairies and father christmas. Played with dolls, kitchen, sylvanians, fairies etc. Probably aged out of peppa pig though. And would have watched wicked, harry potter etc. My other wouldn’t have watched those films. Liked lego cartoon, ben 10 at 7- so shorter cartoon style.

Could you do some play dates at weekends? Maybe with younger in year girls who aren’t encouraged to grow up quicker by parents (a few in our experience can’t wait for their kids to grow out of toys) or through influence of older siblings.

Not yet, but am planning to. I spoke with her teacher at the parents evening a couple months ago and no major concerns were raised. Overall feedback was good, just that she takes too long to get things from her bag or move from one activity to another because she’s busy chatting or distracted. No concerns about academic performance or reading.

Hey Op
Sorry to read this, I hope your DD is ok, kids can be so cruel.
Can I ask when is her birthday? Are the girls in her friendship group similar age or are they older for the year(ie; September/October babies). I ask as both of my DS's are September babies so nearly a year older than some of their class mates and I have started to notice with my elder boy that this is making a difference so there could also be that aspect to consider too.

With your DD if she was happy with how it all is I would agree with your DH and leave her be if it's not affecting her. However you seem to indicate that she is upset about it so I would look to maybe try and change things up for her. Maybe suggest a girly shopping day and getting your nails done together as a starting point and whilst out introduce her to the things the other girls like and see her reaction. She may be that she just isn't into what they are and have little in common with them or maybe (sorry) you have babied her a little? Is she an only child? Do you have other DC?

Above everything I would just make sure your DD is comfortable to express herself

My daughter watched Bluey and Peppa in year 3.

Yes, it’s normal range I think.

Mine is year 3 and I was also worried but I think it’s fine. She also believes in Father Christmas and fairies, which is adorable.

We only started doing chapter books in around November. Ella’s Diaries went down well, along with those fairy books. DD is now able to read some of these independently.

Peppa Pig might be comforting to your DD. Dolls are normal, we have lots of LOLs and Barbie’s. Everyone loves play kitchens.

I would try: Joining clubs to build confidence and reading a chapter together every night. If you want her watching something more age-appropriate, just look on iPlayer and change to something else.

Tbf peppa pig is pretty good even as an adult so I'd consider that a red herring. Looks like this is actually a question of reading (which as Pp says isnt for everyone) and mean girls in class. Are there any nice kids you could invite for a playdate?

This doesn’t sound too dissimilar from my youngest when she was this age. She watched Peppa lots and still now belly laughs at Bluey with her older sister now that’s she’s 9. She isn’t that bothered about Harry Potter and more complex films.

Chapter books were slow to catch on, we started with me reading them to her (Enid Blyton proved popular) and she’s only now reading big chapter books such as Skandar herself. She could read fine but preferred The Beano or books with pictures.

With her friends they’d play with Barbie, make coffee shops, play vets or doctors etc.

It sounds as if perhaps her friends are more mature for their ages than your youngest being too young. She sounds normal to me.

I also find that at times of stress or emotion she reverts back to childish books, it seems to be a comfort thing. I’m happy with that if she’s happy.

6/7yr olds should still be into playing with toys and dolls and believing in Father Christmas, the rest of them are all growing up far too fast and into things they shouldn't even be exposed to at their age.

Maybe she just doesn't reading books without pictures?
DS1 was always at 'greater depth' for reading but in year 3 only enjoyed reading comic style novels (e.g. dog man, captain underpants etc).
He's enjoying the Harry Potter books now in year 5 after having watched the films.

I think lots of Y3s will watch (and secretly quite enjoy) TV programmes for younger kids under the pretence of them being for younger siblings. But they’d also mix that up with also enjoy older stuff like Harry Potter or Wicked. If you don’t think she’d actually be scared of them you could introduce a weekend family movie night with the idea being it’s something you all can enjoy. That way she has some common ground peers and also it’s quite a nice family thing to do. It’s probably 50:50 on Santa and they all pretend to believe in the tooth fairy for the cash reward! Graphic novels like Dog Man etc. are really good for reluctant chapter book readers. I’d also sign her up to Brownies- it’s really good for making friends with girls her age and slightly older but all wholesome fun activities.

I have a y3 daughter albeit is already 8. Nevertheless she very much still likes lots of the things you've mentioned which you have noted.

Have you considered the trouble with daisy series by Kes Gray. V funny but they are chapter books with some illustrations?

My DD is 8 and in year 4 equivalent.

It's only been since this school year that she is becoming a bit less "young for her age" (in my eyes normal child behaviour to be honest). There also seems to be a big difference between children that are allowed on TikTok and other apps and children that are not.

She does not enjoy Harry Potter, or anything that she perceives as scary. Or with even a hint of kissing in it.

I am not sure where this idea has come from that children as young as 7 are too old to play with dolls.

Yes I will do that. It wont be until after have term due to juggling schedules.

I agree with what you said about parents encouraging some of the children to grow up quite fast. There are a few in her class like that. They are indeed more mature than my daughter, but are also cliquey and often rude. Similar to the parents, so we try to keep away.

Some of the stuff in here I would definitely say not to worry about and I did have exactly the same concerns. Mine loved peppa for ages, didn’t like Harry Potter etc when peers seemed to be reading it. Still believes in Santa now. I think these things they will do in their own time and also depends on personal tastes. Some won’t ever like stuff like Harry Potter. Also Harry Potter is a big jump in terms of adding in “baddies” etc which can be a scary concept if watching stuff like peppa. Could look at something like Malory towers and introduce her to that kind of reading. Less of a jump thematically. Mine enjoyed that and so did I when younger.

The general maturity thing is hard. I think it sounds like she’s well within the range of typical for her age group but depending on the class mix you do get kids who just grow up faster (not always a good thing) who have older siblings or are getting access to social media content that isn’t appropriate. Some of that will just be luck. Speak to the school. Try not to worry too much.

My gut feeling is that she is probably neurodiverse. ADHD, possibly AuADHD.

I was wondering if you were going to say she was as I was reading your post. Obviously there is nothing your post that stands out that she is but presenting well below chronological age is class with ADHD.

I have no advice but I have a year 3, 8 year old and year 2 6(nearly 7) year old. My eldest is a boy and has ASD youngest is a girl and neurotypical (I think at least! Harder to tell with girls imo).

My 8 year old can watch wicked, he can read a chapter book (he has read manga and tons of age appropriate chapter books). Youngest loves chapter books but will only read like 3 pages whenever she feels like it so it isn't like she's sat reading a novel haha. She prefers the books like Steve and Maggie , Keith the cat , etc. so similar to your daughter.

My kids haven't been into Peppa pig, paw patrol etc since they were like 2 BUT my daughter absolutely loves baby dolls. She has 2 reborn and loves role playing, dressing up (they both have just been peach and mario while running about outside), imaginative play etc. My eldest can sit and complete a 12+ Lego set with minimal assistance or complete a Nintendo game by himself. My youngest can't go five minutes without checking im still alive and wanting my attention hahah.

My youngest likes to wear nail polish, do her hair, use some lipstick (only before bath time) and spray some kiddie perfume occasionally, but other than that our daughters sound so similar and like they'd be great friends. Mine also like spending hours in the garden, mud kitchens but my eldest is definitely an indoor gamer kid whereas my daughter bloody loves her baby dolls. For Christmas the reborns got a car, pram, baby walker stand thing (it's for real babies but I thought it'll last 😂). I honestly think your daughter is perfectly fine for her age range, I mean she would be the same year as my daughter if she was born a bit later right?

Only difference is your daughter doesn't seem obsessed with death and the afterlife like mine! Hahaha, she loves to tell me 'its nice to make bracelets with you, it'll be a good memory for me to keep when you die" I'm like girl what are you planning? Please don't stress though she sounds like a lovely girl.

The thing that would worry me is the bit about her struggling with friendships. The other stuff wouldn't bother me if she was happy. Does she do any after school activities? That can be great for improving confidence and friendships. Maybe cubs or netball or something?

If she won’t read, read the book to her. Encourage her to read one sentence or one page. Don’t stress if she won’t. I did this with my middle child and he started reading when he was ready to. I just noted in his reading log that he wanted mum to read. Not worth the argument.

The spectrum of ‘normal’ for intelligence / maturity etc is quite big. But if you are concerned speak to the teacher. Tbh my DD grew up way too quick… DS played for a lot longer, I defo remember him at 8 playing for hours with a hot wheels track, some Lego sets and a dinosaur. It wasn’t all the time but was nice.

The daisy books are a good suggestion. My girls loved them.
Just because she's a bit younger it doesnt mean she's ND. Are there other worries?

I would say that much of what you’ve said is normal for her age group- Santa, dolls etc. Peppa pig is a bit more unusual. I’d say nearly all the kids i know (I’m a teacher) have grown out of tv shows such as Peppa, Bluey, pj masks etc. by the time they’re in year 3.

Comparisons are a bad thing.
Your child is an individual.
Let her enjoy childish things while she can.
My 3 DDs were all totally different and developed at different speeds in various areas. They are all now happy adults.
Please relax and take delight in who she is.

Yup, I think it's OK and it might be best to encourage her that people like different things and it's fine to like what you like. I often take the line that it's a bit immature to be in a rush to grow up and smarter to hold on to what you like.

If she doesn't want to read chapter books, don't make her. I'm a strong believer in letting kids read what they enjoy so they're not put off.

What age is year 3? I’m in Scotland is she 7 as that’s what p3 is here? My son is the youngest by almost a year in his class. He’s academically very advance but still enjoys me reading to him even though he’s very competent. Still likes playing with play doh etc