To be concerned DD is behind peers and young for her age?

[pinkjellyfishy]

DD is the youngest in year 3. She still enjoys Peppa Pig, bed time stories (Julia Donaldson type with lots of pictures), playing with baby dolls, her play kitchen and similar wooden toys. She still believes in Father Christmas and fairies (I’m not too concerned about this), however a lot of children in her class do not and tell her they’re not real and seem to judge her it.

She used to love reading the Biff and Chip books, but since moving into year 3 we are STRUGGLING to get her to read chapter books if they don’t have a lot of pictures. She’s not finished one chapter book for the entire school year. I admit this is partly my fault because I need to push her and support her more in doing so. But she kicks up such a fuss and is so tired after school and dinner that getting her to actually read a few pages ends in tears and frustration. She can read fine, however she just doesn’t enjoy it anymore.

Other children in her class have finished reading the first few Harry Potter books, have seen the films, and seem to enjoy more advanced books and films. She has no interest in watching Harry Potter, Wicked or other popular live action films. They laugh and make fun of her for liking Peppa Pig so she has become quite self conscious about it and gets upset.

This year I have really noticed a difference in the children (especially the girls) where most seem more mature than her. She’s struggling to make friends and is often teary at bedtime saying no one likes her and that her friends run away from her at play time. I feel awful for her and so helpless.

I’ve not spent much time around girls her age as we’ve not had many play dates due to busy schedules so I’m not sure what is ‘normal’ at age 7-8yrs.

My gut feeling is that she is probably neurodiverse. ADHD, possibly AuADHD.

I’ve mentioned my concerns to DH about her seeming ‘young’ compared to children her age, but he insists she’s perfectly normal.

AIBU to feel a bit concerned, or is she just being a typical 7yr old?

She will be 7 or 8.

She sounds young ish for year 3 but if she’s the youngest in her year she’s probably not even 7.5 yet? So I wouldn’t say she’s completely out of the ordinary either, maybe she’s just unlucky that the rest of the girls in her year are a bit more mature.

My DDs were both still definitely playing with dolls and play kitchen at 7, and believed in Santa and the tooth fairy.
I’d say 7 is on the young side for Harry Potter too, the later books & films especially could be quite scary for a 7 year old, and the books were originally written to be read by children roughly the same age as Harry (so starting at 10/11).

I wouldn’t force her to read things she doesn’t enjoy, let her pick something. My eldest especially preferred more factual books like children’s encyclopaedias at that age.

Well yes, if she's almost a year younger then at this age it will show. But it sounds like she's doing all the right things, she'll be fine

I think you need to make the effort for out of school meet ups with other girls of the same age. Does she do dance or Rainbows, for instance, where she might find her tribe.

Comparison is the thief of joy… enjoy her while she’s little, she will grow up soon enough! For the friendship issue speak to the teacher to get another view on what is going on, although if she is slow transitioning because she’s too busy chatting it doesn’t sound like she is lonely! My 11 year old still likes watching Bluey with the excuse that her sister chooses it (who is in year 4!)

My dd has just turned 9 and is in year 4, she loves playing with baby dolls, barbies, lol's etc for christmas she asked for a pram. I love that she is enjoying being a child and there is plenty of time for her to be into skin care, clothes etc that many girls her age seem to like. She will happily sit in front of peppa pig with her little sister (but does now watch older programmes like the dumping ground). Maybe have some play dates or join some school clubs to encourage her to make friends but it just sounds like she's a normal little girl who likes to play. The time they get to be children is so short, enjoy it whilst you can.

Or maybe we expect girls to grow up too quickly and don’t let them be little for very long?! 7/8 is still a baby to me! In some countries they’d just be starting school! Some of the girls in my daughter’s year are mini adults and I want to weep. They are 8 with mobile phones and getting their nails done? What’s the point?

My sons in Y3 and much the same as your daughter reading wise. We have tons of chapter books and even toddler picture books and he still chooses between the same 4 picture books at bedtime. Under duress he’ll listen to me read a first chapter one night but never wants the second chapter. Where as my 10 year old girl was reading harry potter to herself at this age after me reading the first 2 to her she realised she could read it faster herself!

I have no doubt my son will get there tho… maybe not but the rest of the family get a lot of pleasure from reading I hope he will too at some point.

my son also plays a lot with toys, as did my daughter (when she wasn’t reading) so I really wouldn’t worry there and I’d be actively encouraging as much play as possible, especially imaginative play.

your friendship concerns are a bit different tho. Can you make some time for play dates? I think this is really important to see classmates outside school as it really helps cement the bond

I have a late summer baby in year 3. Your DD sounds totally normal.

Perhaps some play dates? Does she also have friends through hobbies outside school?

I have a 7 yr old, Peppa pig made a real resurgence with the Evie pig thing. Lots of u took them to see it in the cinema and mines a boy. Fairies and Santa all still believed in by all even the almost 8 yr olds, my son included.

They also love Minecraft and Pokemon and the girls like to play with nail varnish etc but she sounds fairly age appropriate.

My youngest is in Y3 and nothing you describe sounds concerning to me. Mine still watches Peppa Pig and Bluey and similar. He definitely wouldn’t sit through Wicked! Anyone who is telling you that their 7 year old is into Wicked is full of absolute baloney. 😂

I also do not know any of his peers who are reading Harry Potter! In year 5 or 6, yes, some of them, but not a 7/8 year old, except for the really exceptionally advanced ones. It sounds like reading isn’t really her thing. That’s fine. You can read books with lots of pictures that are still on her reading level. You just have to be a bit creative.

It sounds like she is a bit shy and struggling to connect with others. I’d just keep fostering those relationships. Have play dates, you can find the time. Get her involved in Beavers/Cubs or gymnastics or whatever she enjoys. She’ll meet new friends. Sometimes it just takes growing into who they are too. There is a girl in dd’s year who was sort of the awkward eccentric one. She never really found her crowd in primary. She hit secondary school and then finally found all the creative artistic theatre kids and now she has her little gang and has blossomed. Sometimes it just takes time. Just keep making her feel good about herself and the things she enjoys and encourage budding friendships. She sounds like she’s doing fine.

My DS loves reading. Might be worth finding some books to read together? We've been teasing Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett and some of the Famous Five books. He also still enjoys reading some favourite Julia Donaldson. But then, as an adult I have favourite stories I go back to. It makes sense kids do too.

I have a young in her year daughter and Y3 was really difficult for her socially, and academically (albeit on the maths side; she found the English side easier naturally).

she’s Y4 now and things have settled a bit. y3 is a HUGE step up. Encourage her to do more reading at home but also give her time to adjust. I found things improved from Easter onwards when she seemed to mature into it. I do sometimes wonder how much more confident she might be academically if I’d held her back A year (she’s an August birthday) but we are where we are and she’s mostly happy

Also try chapter books that are more like cartoons. My DD loved Tom Gates, Nina Peanut and similar

I was going to say. My DS loves the cinema. But he could not sit through Wicked. K-Pop Demon Hunters or Spider-Man yes. But not Wicked. He likes the songs though.

We did go and see Zootropolis 2 in the cinema over the holidays - as did a few of his friends. Which seems more of interest to his age group

I agree with @mindutopiaabout clubs outside school. My DD has a good friend from a drama club she attends and it’s made her realise that the world is bigger than school, which has been v good for her self esteem

I don't think there's anything immediately worrying about the ops daughter but there is also nothing wrong with kids who do like longer films. My dd watched wicked at the open air sing along cinema at 5 and was memorised. She's a real showbiz kid so it captivated her entirely. She'd also happily sit and watch bluey or peppa.
I just don't think you need to rubbish one group to support the op, because it's not that helpful. Both are fine.

At our school many DC were still deep into father Christmas so no worries there and many still on lower reading levels ! Harry potter was not the general norm.
However children themselves can whistle out differences so I would look into that more
Re reading phonics can be an issue so maybe try a different method and find interesting books nothing wrong with comics .
Try the ottoline series.

I teach in secondary. My secret weapon is 'In the Night Garden'. You wouldn't believe how fast this can drop a class of 14 year old 6ft boys into a comforted, silent reverie.

She sounds lovely and well within the norm for her age. My sons were quite old for their ages but still enjoyed Peppa Pig well into year 4 and beyond. The main thing that jumps out is friendships - you should be providing her with lots of opportunities to build friendships outside school like playdates, outings and extracurricular activities.

Have you tried reading chapter books to her? We were reading them to the dc from 5 onwards (think the easier roald Dahl, worst witch that sort of thing at first. Dd1 was reading them herself too whereas dd2 couldn’t until a lot later (dyslexic) but still we read to her (or together usually) part of bedtime

nothing wrong with watch kids programmes either but on the other hand by 7 they should be able to watch whole movies like Wicked, mine were going to the west end from 4 onwards (I admit my youngest did fall asleep sometimes) gives them a range of experiences

Gently, I think you may be worrying too much. My year 4, eight year old son sits down to watch Peppa Pig with his younger sister sometimes and definitely still believes in Father Christmas. We didn't have much traction with chapter books in early year 3 either, but by the summer and year 4 he has really gotten into them. As long as they are reading and enjoying reading I think the rest comes. Our big change was when he got really into Dogman and Investigators comic style books that he was reading for fun.

Toy wise my son is obviously a boy but plays prefers building with duplo blocks than lego and still loves his brio train set. He will play toy kitchen and teachers a lot with his younger sister.

7 still seems so young to be trying to mature them. I understand the worry with class members. Perhaps it is worth organising some play dates and trying to nurture some friendships, or enrolling her in a scouting group or other club to further socialise?

My daughter is the youngest (now in yr 4) it does start to even out a bit, she has always been an enthusiastic reader which I think is her personality but she still loves watching Bluey even now

My oldest is a very able reader but it has simply never interested him, partly becsyse its so heavily enforced and tested in schools- they don't simply read for pleasure without being tested on what they read ! He is 13 now. In year 3 he liked Horrible Histories books. Harry Potter is aimed at year 6/7 so really no child in her class will be fully understanding what they are reading ! She just hasn't found what she likes yet. At her age I loved books about animsls, can't remember the series name but there were hundreds called things like Shetland in the Shed. And Roald Dahl books.