To think baby change facilities should just be for that?

[rustyflame]

Just returned from a supermarket, baby needed changing so I popped to the baby change, it was locked, so I waited… and waited for around 15 minutes.

I just assumed someone may be feeding their baby or something so I just patiently waited until the door opened and out walked a middle aged man who had absolutely stunk the place out so I gagged as I walked in and had to change baby in the stench he’d left behind.
I couldn’t go anywhere else and I really had to change the baby.
The baby change is situated next to the gents but he obviously wanted the privacy of the baby change which he occupied for at least 15 minutes and however long before I arrived.

I don't think your husband was the first person to think of that as I think most people pop the clean nappy underneath baby first before taking the dirty one off? But it is a good idea!

But I totally agree I wouldn't stand around waiting for 15 minutes for a baby change to be free if I could change the nappy in the pram or car. In fact 4 kids in and I've rarely used baby change facilities. They usually stink anyway 😂

What the fuck. If I had a tendency to poo so bad it got on the ceiling (physically how?!) then I would not be leaving the house.

Oh i think it was for "dramatic effect" I would take the shitty ceiling with a pinch of salt! Along with the speeding away woman.

How can he have left a stench if there is no loo in there?

Because it was an accesible toilet but that doesn't suit the op narrative of "the rights of a baby change" .

Changing a colostomy bag, quite possibly.

OP - in which case, would explain why he chose the baby change if the disabled toilet was already in use, over the men’s toilets that wouldn’t offer either the privacy or space required.

Had I not seen exactly that at a busy service station, I’d be inclined to agree. It was up the walls behind and next to the toilet, and splashed onto the ceiling.

I have no clue if the phantom shitter responsible threw it up there with her hands, or if her exhaust was just that powerful.

That’s gross. I wouldn’t have gone in. Minging.

you're missing the point op.

in your opinion, he misused the facilities
you may well be right. it's more likely he's a selfish git you wanted to poo in peace than he was disabled, couldn't access the disabled toilet and couldn't use the men's so had to use the baby change.

but your answer is to punish other parents like yourself because you didn't want to wait for the smell to dissipate?

our local Asda has a dedicated baby change, female toilets, male toilets and a locked disabled toilet. so when my kids were in a pushchair, I couldn't go to the loo there. no loo in the baby change and no way to get a double buggy in through the two doors to the ladies. the one time I was desperate I had to ask a lady to watch my twins and take the chance that is was unlikely I'd randomly picked a paedophile / child abductor, or pee myself.

Walsall Asda George. Knock yourself out. I'm definitely team Loo in the Baby Change

I’ve had the same issue
The security guards at my local at the time were more than happy to look after my twins

After a while we all knew each other by name 😁

However that’s because I could rarely wait for them to open the disabled
You are within your rights to wait for the disabled as it’s actually just providing extra facilities. Anyone can use it though

There is a toilet in there hence why he was using it.

OK, but if it was specifically a baby change, only for baby changing why was there a toilet in there?

I haven't used a baby change facility on some time now but our local Tesco for example, doesn't have a toilet in the baby changing room. It has a changing table and a sink.

So you can see why posters are asking about the toilet?? What is the purpose of the toilet??

I’ve cleaned loos for a living and encountered that. It was even spattered on the door. Like it had come out with force and rebounded. I assume they must hsve also had poo across their back.

I mean, toddler poo also stinks and going in after a recent nappy change is not nice either. It’s a toilet. They smell. Couldn’t get worked up about it.

So it’s not specifically for baby changing like you said? It’s a toilet too? Why shouldn’t he have used it?

Have you never had a wee with a clingy baby on your lap? Or needed to change your baby's nappy and also have a wee but the pram wouldn't fit in the normal toilets? Or had to take a toddler to the toilet at the same time as changing a baby's nappy? Lucky you.

Colostomy bags don’t actually smell like normal poo

But even so - OP has said there was a loo in there so he had every right to be in there anyway

Poor guy may have a stomach upset or a medical condition so used an available loo

Yeah, they should have that kind of thing in every town with a homeless population. And it should have a laundry attached. People could get tokens from a homeless charity or through the dwp to use them?

But what if a parent takes a baby in for a change and they also need an extended poo themselves, for any reason? What if a mum had emerged with a newly-changed baby but after 20 minutes, most of which was for her to settle her upset stomach - and which would also naturally leave a stink?

Indeed, anytime there's a couple in the shop, one of them could stay shopping with the baby in the trolley, whilst the other takes the empty pushchair with the hood closed over it purely to use the toilet in the baby change themselves - for privacy/shyness/other reasons - as a cover.

This man might have been scared to use the gents', as many of them might only have one cubicle - so if he knows he's going to take a long time, he could get other men who are desperate for a poo - or with a DD/DS who is too young to use urinals - banging angrily on the door. He could have rationalised that a baby in nappies is never actually desperate for the toilet, as they just do whatever they need to whenever - and there's usually a decent window before the parent has to change them.

Ultimately, you're never going to have a setup that works perfectly for everybody in every circumstance.

So you believe that people with certain disabilities should be socially housebound?

Yes, it's deeply unpleasant for the cleaners and for anybody else using the toilet after her; but don't you think that she must have been mortified and felt phenomenally embarrassed? And not just on this one occasion but maybe every single time she has to use the toilet when away from her home? Imagine having to dash out ashamed past the people in the queue every time you leave a cubicle; and although she obviously should tell the staff about it and not just leave it like that, can you imagine how that would play out for her in real life, the feeling of extreme shame at having to do that every time?

There's invariably going to be an issue or condition at play - whether physical, mentally or both. Nobody is leaving a toilet like that just for fun.

When being emptied/changed they can, and/or if not properly sealed (an easy mistake for someone getting used to having one to make, for instance).

But yes, I see she confirmed there was a toilet in there. I was giving a reason why someone may need to use a baby change even when there’s no toilet.

So there is a toilet in there? But you think it's specifically a toilet only for people who are also in there changing babies' nappies? Or for particularly advanced babies?

No, sounds like it was a separate baby change also with a loo in it, there are many like this, often in supermarkets and shopping centres. OP has already specified there was a separate accessible toilet facility.

I often wonder why mumsnet is frequented by people who absolutely cannot bear for mums to have facilities that make their lives even a tiny bit easier and think that everyone should just be able to suit themselves because heaven forbid women (mums) should be prioritised in any way. How dare a loo be provided in the baby change, mums with babies should just stop being demanding and hold it in until they get home 🙄.

Yes, yes the man may have had a hidden disability and the disabled loo might have been occupied and he might have needed to go urgently, but realistically he was probably just an entitled shit.