To think baby change facilities should just be for that?

[rustyflame]

Just returned from a supermarket, baby needed changing so I popped to the baby change, it was locked, so I waited… and waited for around 15 minutes.

I just assumed someone may be feeding their baby or something so I just patiently waited until the door opened and out walked a middle aged man who had absolutely stunk the place out so I gagged as I walked in and had to change baby in the stench he’d left behind.
I couldn’t go anywhere else and I really had to change the baby.
The baby change is situated next to the gents but he obviously wanted the privacy of the baby change which he occupied for at least 15 minutes and however long before I arrived.

If he is disabled and the accessible toilet was busy, then there wasn't adequate facilities available.

Apart from the facility he used.

YANBU. Obviously. Nobody should be using the baby change without a baby, especially if there are other facilities available.

No need for there to be a toilet in the baby change at all. Just a table, a sink and a bin.

The other disabled facilities could have been occupied when he arrived though.

He obviously got there before you so you wouldn’t know

He probably needed to change a colostomy bag, which doesn't need a toilet - he would have similar needs for space for undressing/redressing and disposal of substances, and a baby change facility is appropriate. People who have to live with a colostomy bag have a lifelong disability which is frankly a much bigger burden than the short and temporary time of dealing with baby nappies. Him using the baby change if the disabled loo was occupied seems totally reasonable in the same way that I think it's totally reasonable for a disabled driver to use a Parent&Child space at the supermarket if the disabled spaces are all full, and in the same way that it's totally reasonable for wheelchair users to have priority over buggy users on buses. Disabled people's needs are much more important than parent-with-a-baby needs if something needs to be prioritised. Having a baby does not make you the centre of the universe.

Given that he was in there 15 minutes and made a stench, it is likely that he has additional needs regarding toiletting.

I would say that a baby in a nappy can more easily wait than this man could, and therefore I think it perfectly reasonable for him to use the facility if the disabled toilet was in use at the time (or locked), which I presume was the case.

You are not making sense was it a combined facility or not ? I mean the man didn't shit in the nappy bin did he?

It’s useful if you are using reusable nappies, to dispose of the solids. I mean technically you can wrap up and dispose of later but much better to get rid of there and then.

I mean technically you can wrap up and dispose of later

Would you not wrap it up and dispose of it in the nappy bin with all the other shit?

It wasn't a toilet, and he didn't have a baby. I'm presuming the guy was homeless and using it to try and wash. Was there a sink? That would explain the odour.

Yeah it's unfortunate. If the disabled was free he should probably have used that but then he'd be blocking it from a disabled person.

There should be public showers that people can use if they're homeless. Not public as in exposed, obviously private cubicles etc. but I guess the councils think it would encourage asb or drugs or something.

Most reusable nappy users don’t like the idea of sending human shit to landfill or for incineration. When I said ‘wrap it up’ I meant keep it in the nappy and dispose of down the toilet at home.

It makes perfect sense.

This. There are several different scenarios in which a lone adult might need the facilities provided in a baby change. I would have thought everyone knew by 2026 that when it comes to additional needs/disabilities/use of municipal facilities, it’s best to mind your own business.

The OP hasn't said there was no toilet?

In fact, she's heavily implied in her replies that there was and that's why it stank.

But the smell is irrelevant, because if he had a baby it wouldn't have stank any less when he had a shit.

In my local shopping centre, the baby changing room (which has a toilet) has a buzzer on it so people can’t just decide to go in there.

There are two accessible toilets for everyone who needs to use them plus there are the normal toilets. I was really glad my council thought about everyone including parents when mine were babies.

That's good and sounds like most modern shopping centres.

However, the OP is talking about a supermarket.

It will have been the business not the council who made that decision

Local councils can’t invent or override current building regs

If it’s a council owned facility then obviously they can add extras if they want but they can’t impose that on other businesses

There used to be public showers at mainline train stations like Victoria in their public toilets area. No idea how many homeless people versus travellers used them but that area has a high population of homeless people with additional needs.

I disagree with this actually (that wheelchair users be prioritised over parents with buggies by default). I have a baby and toddler, and an invisible disability (type 1 diabetes). I need the buggy because carrying a changing bag/wrangling an toddler and also breastfeeding impacts my blood sugar and causes hypoglycaemic attacks. Someone in a wheelchair (depending on their condition) may actually be safer and more able than I am, especially when waiting in a queue, or at a bus stop with no seats for resting. It’s not so simple as wheelchair = worse off. Also, in a queue for the loo, a toddler might need it more urgently than a disabled person - it’s something to be negotiated instance by instance, if needed. Toddlers are people too and shouldn’t be forced to soil themselves any more than anyone else. Admittedly I’ll always try and use a portapotty or regular loo for myself and my toddler if needed, but sometimes we need that bigger space too.

I remember when my kids were small there was a place in town had a family room which had a change table, little loo, big loo high sink and a low sink. I had a toddler and twins so it was great to get everyone changed and go to loo myself. I didn’t go anywhere there wasn’t a loo in the baby change as complete pain. I appreciate my circumstances were extreme but I went to same three places weekly for several years as they had good loos!

Maybe, sorry. I was asking really if there was a toilet or not.

Oh I know that I was just saying what it should be like even in supermarkets.

Yep agree with PPs that what bothers me more is baby change without a toilet in it.

My sympathies OP, I’ve had similar experiences. Once I went to use a disabled loo/baby change combo (there were other disabled loos too), had to wait a long time, stench was sickening, then a woman burst out, pushing past us to leave in a hurry, very rude, we rolled in and dear god: there was poo everywhere! All over the floor, the toilet, the wall - I had to get the staff in and they resignedly came to clean it. I was permitted to use the baby change in the gents instead (it was going to be a big clean up and DD was crying) but they stopped any men coming in while we did, so more people inconvenienced. The woman staff member cleaning told me it happened often with older people (even poo on the ceiling!), and they wouldn’t mind if only those who did it told someone afterward instead of leaving it to everyone else to clean up/deal with.

In an ideal world yes it would be just for baby change, but who would police it? Supermarkets have cut the staff down to the bone and they are barely able to keep the shelves full, so they certainly wouldnt have someone standing by the bogs all day

YANBU I’m not sure why needing to do a poo means you can’t do it in the men’s. Equally though if you really needed to change your baby as you said why did you wait 15 mins - if you drove you could have done it in the car, if you walked then chances are you’re somewhere with another shop with a baby change nearer than 15 mins away. Although obvs you didn’t know he’d be so
long!