Nighttime routine.

[inthecornersofmymind]

I am the mother of three boys: 10, 4 and 2.

I try to settle my 10-year-old and 4-year-old to bed at 8pm. My 4-year-old has a separate bedroom, but he shares it with my 10-year-old since he doesn't like sleeping alone or being in his own room.

We have made numerous attempts to get him settled in his bedroom at bedtime; despite our efforts, it consistently results in tears and meltdowns.

I allow both boys 30 minutes of either book or screen time just to be fair, and then it's lights out and goodnight.

This always creates an issue, as my 10-year-old loves reading and becomes so engrossed in his books that he doesn’t want to close the book and go to sleep when asked. My 4-year-old has same problem with screen time, and neither of them goes to sleep until around 9 to 9:30PM, just like tonight.

I want to end book and screen time before bedtime since I face the same problem every night. I feel upset because I'm simply trying to be fair, yet it seems like they are taking it for granted.

Would it be reasonable to instantly STOP book and screen time entirely before going to sleep?, given that I feel unable to wean them off gradually.

Book great down time, screen absolutely not.

I completely agree with @PurpleFlower1983 that high-energy screens are a nightmare before bed! 🚫 That's exactly why we had to change our approach.
We realized that 'cold turkey' was too much for our little ones, so we swapped the bright, loud cartoons for 'low-stimulation' videos on the TV. We found some calm phonics stories that are super slow-paced and use soft colors—it’s basically like a digital bedtime story.
It really helped bridge that gap between 'active time' and 'sleepy time' without the meltdowns. Sometimes a gentle transition is easier on everyone's sanity! Hang in there, OP!

This. Let the 10yo read his book! Poor kid.

Deal with the 2&4 year olds properly - own beds, audiobooks, etc.