Would you inform the school?

[Winterstorms2]

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

You sound very on your high horse about how shes a teacher. And you know her, so it seems very personal.

Instead of focusing on the facts of what happened. Which is surely whats important.

Anyhoo, you say your friend is reporting it to the police now.

So no need for you to be involved further really.

Edited for typo

91% yabu...

She lost her shit & behaved appallingly in a difficult & escalating situation.

OUTSIDE of work & with no bearing on her work as a teacher.

To join the chorus of other women who witnessed this & scapegoat her & tell her employer is fucking deplorable & shit stirring. She may well talk to her colleagues/HT herself without a coven dobbing her in it.
AND/OR apologise to your friend for her behaviour, but not if you lot all decide to tell her workplace first & make matters so much worse.

So you weren't there

And this was apparently 2 friends having an escalating argument. Where no doubt unsavoury things were said on both sides

The spitting is gross but often friends argue, one acts badly but the other doesn't want to report it because they know they pushed them and they're friends

Which I suspect is the case here

But there is no evidence it happened and the friend doesn't want to take it further which suggests it perhaps didn't happen like that.

The OP has avoided the Q several timea if theyor anyone else actually saw it happen.

Relevant context in relation to the child for safeguarding I’d’ve thought? If the mum presents as happy families but the child is disruptive and seems troubled then this behaviour from the mum would be very helpful to explain things are not what they seem. It’s not like she randomly shouted at someone or had had a few drinks in her own time - spitting is disgusting and to me very much crosses a line.

If the spitter was the teacher then I’d want a lot more information first as it’s potentially more explosive - school might be compelled to investigate, teacher might lose their job, you might get labelled as a troublemaker. It’s not going to just sit in a file somewhere should the need for family context ever arise, it’s potentially far more damaging in itself.

You missed the posts where i do confirm there were witnesses and that friend is taking it to the police didnt you? Being a teacher does not give you some god given right to spit on others and think it will give you the protection to get away with it!

Spitter was a teacher. Friend was assaulted, friend is going to the police.

What was the context? Did the teacher just approach your faultless friend ?
was or is a teacher?

The women is a women who has done something unacceptable and grim which is considered a criminal offence.

You need to seperate out your obsession with the fact she is a teacher, as this aspect of it seems more important to you than anything else.

If you and your friend would have reported her regardless of her career choice then fine carry on as you are, but if you are excessively penalising her because of her job, and hoping that you can get her the disproportiante punishment of loss of job/career (and everything that goes with that - loss of home etc) I think you and your friend have other issues. I'd love to know what the dispute was about who started it and the dynamic of the other 'witnesses' present.

I couldn’t agree more with this. Your approach to it is all wrong, and seems underhand.

If your post was “should my friend go to the police about woman who spat on her?” Most people would say yes.
But because you’re making it all about her being a teacher and wanting to inform her employer, you lost a lot of people’s support.

I also am dying to know what the argument was about, and what your friends role in it was.

I wonder if i had started my post saying my friend was spat at by another woman, and the. Later said that woman was also a teacher , how different the response would be.

You’re right. It should be reported. Whether it was in the workplace or not, it’s very telling of her character and your concerns are absolutely valid.

They probably relate to her in some way, it’s like having a mirror held up and it sets people on the defensive. Very telling. Glad your friend is reporting it.

Its got nothing to do with you, its between the 2 of them - stay out of it

Or maybe left that out altogether.

Honestly, you sound a bit unhinged about the whole business in the sense you are fixated on her being a teacher.

Also no answer as to why it took you several posts to come up with the witnesses, seemingly only after many came on and said you weren't there and couldn't have known what happened for sure on your friend's say so.

Anyway, over 90% think yabu.

Thank you, I was really starting to think there was something wrong with my way of thinking. How can you condone that sort of behavior in anyone? Especially someone who has to deal with children and possibly be provoked on a daily basis? I would personally rather be slapped than spat on, spitting is a complete and utter disregard to another person and is a some what animal act. Humans have hands if we really must use them, animals spit!

90% think youre wrong.

people asked, I replied. Of course my friend will plod along with her invisible witnesses to report it

wrong to report to the school. But im disgusted in the fact that some people on here seem to think her behaviour is fine,

If you think your friend has been assaulted, then she should go to the police to report the assault and they will then let the school know. The fact that your friend isn't bothered means either she doesn't think anything that happened was serious enough to keep picking at it, she started and escalated it or the spitting and events didn't actually happen like she described. Your friend isn't bothered so why are you? Report it to the police if you think a crime has been committed.

She is going to the police….

There is a vast difference between thinking her behaviour is wrong (which i do, i think spitting is disgusting) and your attitude of revelling in the idea of destroying someones career, income and life over it!

I don't like how gleeful you seem at having the oppurtunity to take down this 'friend'. You sound like a nasty person, who likes to sh*t stir given half a chance. You weren't even there!

Animals generally don't spit, they done have the physiology to allow them to do it.