Would you inform the school?

[Winterstorms2]

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

Thank you, spiting is spitting provoked or unprovoked, the context of the argument has nothing to do with it

Exactly what 'hell and havoc' is she creating, all this hyperbole and no actual concrete detail makes this all much less believable.

This sounds very personal and nothing to do with her role as a teacher to your child. But then you are making it about her being a teacher.

Yes, most people have suggested its reported to the police, thats the appropriate consequence. They can investigate, look at cctv, take statements and create a balanced outcome. .

However, what OP seems to be after is an automatic sacking based on hearsay by going to the school, out of an ongoing personal vendetta.

If this teacher is found guilty, she may end up with a criminal record which could end up with her loosing her job anyway, but fair process needs to be followed, rather than a bunch of mums deciding to go after a teacher because they feel like it. If they had a reasonable issue with her then they would have followed school process for complaints, then LA or ofsted. So either they haven't followed due process, or they have and their complaints were unfounded.

I didn’t say reporting to the school was the right course of action only that she should be reported somewhere and she shouldn’t get away with such vile behaviour.

“rather than a bunch of mums deciding to go after a teacher because they feel like it. If they had a reasonable issue with her then they would have followed school process for complaints, then LA or ofsted. So either they haven't followed due process, or they have and their complaints were unfounded.”

This is your opinion and a fabricated little story on your part, not reality, all of which is completely incorrect but thanks for your input anyway. There is no bunch of mums, myself and my friend are mothers at the school she teaches, but where did you get the part about a bunch of mums?

And yes fair process needs to be followed for ALL not just in favour of the poor teacher with a witch hunt against her!!

Yes, I suggested that if you had issues with her conduct in school prior to this event, you and your friend should have followed the school complaints process, followed by the ofsted process if you didn't feel the school investigation was fair and thorough. I was also in favour of reporting to the police, who would do an investigation. How does that suggest I'm not keen on fair process for all?

Context is relevant

Spitting is gross but I would feel differently if the spitting was after being called a slag, a whore, had my kids insulted etc compared to after being told to go away

I've asked before - why haven't you reported the teacher to the head for the things you've accused her of, such as bullying?

But seeing as though none of that happened

Because sometimes in life, you wait, you see how things pan out, is it bullying? Isnt it? Hindsight is helpful here, watching patterns in her actions emerging time and time again. Was she intimidating on purpose? Or does it just come across that way? Oh she did it again? Hm, maybe she is doing it on purpose. She spat? Im sorry WHAT?!!

Well we don't know do we?

Because you just keep saying "disagreement" and "argument"

And were these things you think she might have been doing (and your hyperbole in earlier posts suggested it was pretty bad) in school?

But you being a nosey bugger wouldn’t help though would it? Ive got the info i needed from the thread, without having to enlighten you 👍

You made it sound like she had been really awful for long period of time 'hell and havoc' 'she really is an awful person' bullying and intimidating and behaving like she was untouchable were some of the phrases you used earlier. And now it sounds like you weren't sure enough if she was doing any of it on purpose to feel he need to escalate it. If I thought a teachers behaviour was causing 'hell' for my child, I wouldn't wait around to see how it 'panned out'! Unfortunately not raising it earlier will make it look like a vexatious complaint rather than a true issue.

I hope, for the children's sake, this all gets resolved quickly. Having this animosity between teachers and parents is definitely not in the children's or the schools best interests, whoever is to blame.

Then you can't complain that we draw our own conclusions or ask questions...

And you look, its being reported to the police, the thread was resolved a fair few pages back. If wanting what is right and morally correct makes me spiteful and horrible so be it, I will gladly were that title to put this person in their place

I can’t believe how batshit this place is sometimes. Someone gets spit on and people are making excuses because it’s teacher. Can you imagine if it was a man, the replies would be completely different.

I’ve been made out to be a spiteful dishonest snake, bitch, trouble maker etc… because someone spat on my friend, and my friend was too worried to take this further all because that person was a teacher. Only on mumsnet!!

Really that is what you take from this?

No one has said that spitting is ok, or your friend is wrong to go to the police.

You made a post asking whether you would be unreasonable to tell the school yourself, and you were told yes, this would be unreasonable by the majority of posters.

They have questioned your motives in wanting to go straight to the school, and the reliability of your story, which has changed through this thread.

You have said that she is well known to be nasty, intimidating, bully etc, but when I suggested that a group of mums wanted to sort this out with the school you said it was only you and your friend. So no one else has an issue with her? Which again suggests that this is personal rather than related to her abilities as a teacher. When my daughter had a teacher who was a bully, at least 8 parents from a class of 18 approached the school with their concerns, which were specifically related to her behaviour in the classroom. Most parents wouldn't let their 'fear' of the teacher prevent them from protecting their child if they were that concerned. It's a teacher, not a mafia boss! Worst case scenario the school doesn't act and you move your child's to a different school.

A few pages ago someone asked if you disliked the teacher and you replied "not until she spat at my friend" and then you suddenly reveal that she's made people's lives "hell" and you do, in fact, have a bit of a vendetta against the teacher.

I'm not saying the incident didn't happen but I am assuming it didn't happen quite as you portray.

Where’s the grey area? She spat or she didn’t. It’s not difficult.

There are numerous grey areas, holes and general craziness in this story, and when inconsistencies start to show, it brings the whole story into question.

It may be that this teacher actually spat accidentally whilst coughing. It may be that it didn't happen at all. OP wasn't there, she may not know the whole story - people generally only tell you what they want you to know.

As the saying goes, there's my truth your truth and the truth. And the truth is something we mumsnetters will I suspect never get to know.