To be annoyed at ringing the bell at 11.20pm

[Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself]

DH forgot his keys (I had no idea). Rang the bell, twice. I freaked out hearing it, he was due home 11, shouted "who is it?" And got no answer (apparently he couldn't hear). My nervous system thought it was either police or a serial killer. Now instead of feeling nice and sleepy my heart rate is through the roof and I feel wired. Luckily DC slept through the fairly loud noise. AIBU to think he should have tried calling or texting me instead of just ringing the bell?

This isn’t a normal reaction to a doorbell ringing. You’re expecting your partner home so that’s the logical reason is ringing the bell. Criminals don’t to ring the bell. I think you know all this really. I hope gp is helpful tomorrow op.

Your irrationality isn't your husband's fault.

He forgot his keys, he didn't text as you sometimes leave your phone downstairs and given he was only 20 minutes late, I don't imagine he thought it would spark this drama.

So you would be totally fine with your partner ringing the doorbell at 11.20pm on a Wednesday night?

Being startled awake does that. It can be very disorienting! Sorry you're getting piled on here. Didn't mean for my post to come across that way, either. Sleep well.

Yes of course I would, how else would he get in if he doesn't have his keys?

I'd be mildly peeved that he forgot them but we're all human and it's not like it was a surprise homecoming.

My sympathies. I’m going through peri myself at the moment. Definitely mention it to your GP at your appointment as peri can definitely cause anxiety to start or worsen. Exercise and meditation is working for me. 🤞

I thought this was going to be about pub closing time 🍺

🤣🤣🤣

I’d have been livid too OP - it shows a lack of consideration. This is why I don’t have a bell!

If he was due home at 11, and hadn't come back yet, and the doorbell went at 11.20, of course I would assume it was him! Yes, I wild be totally fine with that. It's the person who lives in the house pressing a button so he can get in, not someone firebombing the building.

I think people are being very unkind to you.

The obvious thing would have been for DH to call you or text to avoid waking the DC. So I can understand it would be a bit alarming if it was unexpected, and you didn’t know he’d forgotten his key.

My partners thought path would likely be.. if im asleep I won't hear my phone, so will ring the doorbell.

Sorry OP, this is a mountain out of a molehill

You are being really silly OP,what an overreaction.If you are giving your husband a hard time….apologise.

I'm sorry this stressed you out so much, but do you have health issues, ND, mental health issues, anxiety issues OP? Are you getting any support for your anxiety? Your DH is home, so I'm surprise you felt the need to post about this. Something many people might see as a non issue.

Where had DH been? If drinking, then maybe HE wasn't the clearest in his own head, hence not thinking to call/text and instead ring the door bell. 🤷‍♀️

I’d expect him to text me, then ring me, then knock on the door.

Then, if that basic sequence of operations didn’t yield a result, ring the doorbell and listen out for me approaching so he could call through the door, ‘hey it’s me - forgot my keys’.

It’s hardly rocket science or the inner mysteries of the Freemasons.

Yes if I knew he was out! If I was off to bed before he got back I’d say ‘sorry you missed me, if you forgot your keys it’s going to be a cold night!’. It’s a once off give him a break, I know it’s hard at the start when it feels like you don’t get equal break. If you were locked out and rung the bell, would you tolerate being kept from your children? Or would you say, well, I staid out past 11 so I don’t get to see them…

sorry just read the peri thing! Kids can’t be that young.

deal with your anxiety before it affects your young adults

sorry just read the peri thing! Kids can’t be that young.

Of course they can be very young.

I’d be totally fine with it. Especially if I was expecting him home around that time.

A total non-issue in my house. But I understand everyone is different.

He didn't "repeatedly" ring. He rang twice. He didn't keep ringing or hold the button down

And you admit you don't always take your phone to bed so it was something he would have to risk you hearing compared to something you would hear

Oh for goodness sake drama over a doorbell who did you think it could be oh a serial killer not the fact your hubby wasn't in the house lol

Mate 😅 serial killers wouldn’t get that status if they rang the doorbell

We've gone from MNetters not answering the door without 4 weeks notice in writing to a husband, who's expected home, ringing his own doorbell causing his wife to have a "nervous system" full blown panic attack.
Seriously, I honestly don't know how some adults manage to navigate life.
I worry for any children they have.
It's absolutely ridiculous.

How would you have survived pre mobile phone? There’s only one solution, disconnect your bell at night if you don’t want it ringing.

You were expecting him to come home around that time. He'd forgotten his keys. What did you expect him to do? Sleep in the shed? Grow up!

On the basis you often leave your phone downstairs at night, what else did you expect him to do?

We don't have an effete nonsenses with bells. We have a brass knocker and if anybody wants us they start banging the knocker.