Juggling work and childcare? What haven't I considered because at the moment it looks bleak ...

[SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough]

Posting here for traffic as I am desperately searching for a solution - the numbers just aren't working.

Context. I am a SAHM with 2 year old DD. Solo mum, no father, no family to help with childcare. Live in London and moving is not an option (at least not at this stage). I had a decent chunk of savings which not enough for a house deposit but enough to take a couple of years off work. So that is what I have done. No benefits.
I've very happy to have had this time with DD but realistically, I've got maybe 9 months left before I will need to go back to work.

How?

Everyone talks about the free childcare hours but in my area it is still ridiculously expensive. Most nurseries have a 3 day minimum policy (those that aren't have really long waiting lists). Full time with the free hours is in the ballpark of £1500 per month. (That's going to be half my salary initially) after bills etc. I'm going to be in the negative each month).

How do you manage drop offs and pick ups and get to work on time? What about sick days, holidays, school holidays? I know this is old news but it's new to me and I am trying to figure it out and it all just seems impossible.

On top of this there are worries that mainstream may not be able to meet all of dds needs, though this will become clearer over the next 12-18 months.

Just to be clear this isn't a 'lifes unfair' thread, I'm hoping for some practical advice

Thank you

What was your initial plan ?

Could you claim UC once you're working? The earnings threshold is pretty high for a single parent who rents, and they would pay 85% of your childcare.

Edit: Only answered the half the post!

Sick days etc can be tricky but if you find a sympathetic work place it's sometimes possible to be flexible/ WFH to facilitate drop offs/pick ups (not in lieu of childcare but to reduce the commute time for example). Many nurseries etc are open longer than office hours and year round to help cover holidays, once at school there are holiday clubs.

What did you do before kids, is it something you could return to part time?

Depending on your salary you can get help with childcare costs on top of the 30 hours- either through tax free childcare or Universal credit.
Are you renting? If so do a benefits checker at your salary level to see if you’re eligible for Uc.

nursery is usually 8-6. I finished work at 5 and my son was at a nursery next to my office. Later he moved to one closer to home.

When older- look at wraparound clubs/childminders. Again you can get help towards that.

My son is now 5. He goes to breakfast club at 8. I get to work for 9. Leave at 5 and collect him at 6. All via public transport.
school holidays- play schemes when older but when nursery age- most are open all year round.

The juggle is hard but hopefully you can get there.

Quite a few nurseries are 8-6 so if you could find one close that might be doable. Another option is potentially a nursery near your work - not ideal as then DD is with you for the commute - but throwing it out there as an option.

Childminder is another one to look into- usually works out cheaper than nursery.

Could you possibly apply for flexible working, compress your hours, WFH more to make the drop off/ pick up easier.

Holiday logistics is tricky but not too bad til school age and then we are relatively lucky in London to have loads of club/camp options. Appreciate it’s all an additional expense though.

Sick days- your employer kind of has to suck it up.. I found it awkward at first as I’m never off sick myself, but they are used to young kids getting a million illnesses.

Are you going back to the same role or applying for new jobs?

Thank for replies.
I'm ex army so will be looking for a new job - complete career change. Not ideal as I will be earning considerably less. It's already going to be a huge learning curve for me starting work outside the forces.

I am not entitled to UC. (Though I would be if I just kept living of my savings until I had none). Ideally, I would like to keep a safety net for me and DD rather than claim benefits which doesn't feel like a long term solution.

@Carriemac Child in nursery at 12 months, full time job. Didn't work out.

Ok you can apply for tax free childcare if your salary is below £100k. This gives you a 20% discount paid into a pot as you add 80% and gov adds 20%
you use that account to pay for childcare if your setting allows it.

I would recommend trying to get a 9-5 job as that’s easier for logistics. Not a lot of settings are open weekends or evenings.

How do you manage drop offs and pick ups and get to work on time? What about sick days, holidays, school holidays? I know this is old news but it's new to me and I am trying to figure it out and it all just seems impossible.

On top of this there are worries that mainstream may not be able to meet all of dds needs, though this will become clearer over the next 12-18 months.

Many nurseries are open long hours eg 7am to 7pm so you can work in between. Find a nursery that is open all year round and then you only need to worry about sick days. Settling into nursery usually means your child picks up loads of illnesses so be prepared for that at the beginning. Emergency leave is usually unpaid but different employers might have different benefits and options, or might allow you to take it as annual leave.

I’d recommend looking into applying for DLA. It’s not means tested but based on need (your income isn’t taken into account) and you don’t need a formal diagnosis, just evidence to back up your claim. DLA allows you to do things like take one day off as unpaid parental leave (instead of a block of a week) which can be very useful with a child with disabilities.

If your child can’t manage mainstream and the closest suitable school is named on an EHCP and is a certain distance, then you can apply for a taxi. However, very few specialist schools offer wraparound care as the school day in itself is typically long enough so bear that in mind as well.

Thanks, this is helpful!

A big challenge I've faced is finding a nursery due to minimum days (an ideal would have been to have DD in 2 days a week where I work part time to top up our savings and make use of free hours until she is in school and I can go back full time), opening times that leave no room for commute time) they all seem to be 8-5:30, I found two which were open later but they had no spaces.
I've also found later entry quite hard as babies and toddlers who already attend nursery naturally have their place and so move up to the older groups.
Plus there is the issue of some additional needs which narrows down the options

Where do you live with those hours? Here it's all 8-6.

Anyway. When she's at school she will be wraparound care, which will also be expensive, so I'm not sure that school is the silver bullet that you seem to think it is.

I have a full time job and use annual leave to take a day off each week so I'm only doing 4 days for a full salary.

I’ve been in a similar situation. Realistically - swallow your pride about benefits. Have a look a some benefits calculators to see what you’re entitled to. You can get a certain amount towards childcare too.

I would look for part time work - that will make all the logistics easier in terms of drop off/pick ups, and maybe help with the additional needs aspect too. I worked 16 hours over 2 days when my DD was under school age (she did 2 long days at nursery) and then about 30 hours over 5 days a week which meant I could do pick up/drop off and avoid wrap around care. I was lucky tho that my existing job was flexible and paid quite well (civil service)so I didn’t have to find a new job like you’re having to. The nursery phase is actually easier as they tend to be 8-6 whereas school is 9-3ish.

to be frank - sick days and holidays is going to be a pain and a juggle. I used up most of my leave on sick days initially, holidays only kick in at school age tho so that’s further down the line - I’d focus on solving the problem in front of you and worry about that in 2.5 yrs!

Are your DDs needs the sort that could qualify you for carers/disability benefits?

Unfortunately, without a career to go back into (as you say you don't want to go back to the arms forces), any very part time jobs are going to be very minimum pay. That's the reality.

I think your options are:

• consider whether their might be a job within the armed forces that could accommodate your needs. Have you spoken to anyone about this? There are many huge benefits of working for them.
• look for a FT job where your experience will be highly valued. The public sector might be the best avenue, also potentially more flexibility. You can then claim a nursery place and the 80% childcare help. More likely to get a higher paid role and/or get quicker promotions. Great pensions.
• wait until your savings are depleted, claim benefits.

There are unlikely to be the miracle options you are looking for. In terms of making it work...take it one week, one day at a time. Lots of give and take. I was a FT working mum of a 1 and 4 years old with very limited help. I built a good and trusting relationship with my boss. I worked 8:30 to 4:30 but if something really needed, I stayed a bit later(nursery opened until 6pm). I even came to the office a few Saturdays, when I begged for a friend to have my children for a few hours and then did the sane for her at other times), so my boss knew I was also dedicated to my job. This means that he was fair when I did need to leave early if one child was poorly, or needed an appointment etc..., we even worked sometime out when they got the inevitable chicken pox.

Just to warn you, it’s harder when they get to school. You’ll need wrap around care and cover for school holidays.

have you looked into childminders?

what is your working day pattern likely to be? Is your chosen profession known for its flexibility or family friendly policies?

Look at childminders rather than nurseries, they can be cheaper and more flexible.

Claim any benefits you're entitled to, as soon as possible.

Realistically, the first year or two will be difficult in a new job while your dd picks up bugs from childcare. It's just a matter of being a really good employee in other ways (and hopefully having an understanding manager) and getting through it.

Try Flexa for jobs with flexibility. And take a look at Charity Jobs - charities can be mixed bags as employers, I won't lie, but my charity are excellent on flexibility, empathy and understanding. (And the previous two were excellent on flexibility if nothing else).

In terms of working and childcare I found the nursery stage the easiest to manage. I am surprised that in the London area you cannot find a nursery that is 7.00-6.00. I lived in Cornwall when mine were small and had this option. My youngest has SN - finding a place wasn't easy (one or two were mysteriously full) but I found somewhere in the end. Dare I say much easier than school - patchy wrap-around, unreliable childminders..It didn't get better until secondary. As another SN Mum can I say that if you need to work then you need to be really proactive and believe your daughter will be fine in nursery (also work with the nursery to make it work).i

Another vote for a nice childminder. If you find the right one, they become almost like a family member.

Personally juggle for years until school age, stressed every day and dreading Mondays and Fridays making my anxiety sky rocket. Kids in nursery Tue-Thu, then Mon and Fri at home with me, trying to work when they're here, but mostly waking up at 5am to do 1h or so before they wake up, then working some more 7-11/12pm when they're in bed, every day (even weekends, to make up the hours). Absolute hell, but no other way.

You could find a childcare setting close to your work? That cuts the need for commute times, tricky if you don't have a job yet though I know!

Show me the childminders who are so lovely that they almost become a family member..juggling childcare and work is hard. Find a good nursery near where you work - a range of staff, clear opening hours and so on. I've had 4 childminders and each time there has been issues - poor care, good care but constant closures e.g finishing early because...it's hard but you just do it.

Thankfully not.

I considered this, but I don't know where I am going to be working yet, not the days I will be required to work. So it's tricky.

There are places open these hours BUT they are full and not even accepting more into the waiting list. The others are at least a 45-50 minute walk which defeats the point of the extended hours when you come to think of it.

I'm going to look into this as a possible solution!

I can't go back into the forces (medical discharge). And you are absolutely right. I need to go back full time, part time is barely going to cover the cost of childcare let alone other expenses on the rate I will be on.