Do you know anyone who came around to liking Dubai despite being VERY reluctant at first?

[Gronty]

Dh is a pilot. He’s at a crossroads in his career. He can stay with his airline and go onto make very very comfortable money when he takes command in the not too distant future. Or we can take the jump to a ME airline and immediately double his salary. The dilemma is should we delay gratification I suppose.

I personally am in the camp of disliking Dubai and sort of side eye the types of people who like it. I have been previously and it’s everything I hate - superficiality, vanity, consumption etc. I see it as a shiny veneer that isn’t real. And not to mention slavery, women’s rights etc.

I spend a lot of time outdoors - bike rides with kids, dog walks etc. I am not in the camp of “England has gone to shit so let’s leave” at all.

Dh is desperate to go. He has an offer. He says we would only be gone for 5 years as a plan. Build up savings. And if we really didn’t get on we’d come back but only as an absolute last resort. The package is very generous but I enjoyed a typically English childhood and would ideally give my kids (1,3 and 5) the same. My dogs would also struggle with the heat (retrievers).

I really don’t think it’s worth it. We are doing absolutely fine right now. Not living in the lap of luxury but we don’t have to worry about bills and we can treat ourselves regularly. When DH takes command we will be much better off.

Do you know anyone who has come around to Dubai?

I wouldn't go as a woman and I wouldn't be taking kids there either.

I think this post decides it. You sound like you’re doing life right. If you had a huge yearning to live out there and wanted to try it then I’d tell you to go for it but you don’t seem like a Dubai person. I’m not either. And you are on track for the lifestyle you want in only a few short years. These are important years for the dc, if they can have the benefit of both parents around then I wouldn’t change things.

I knew a journalist who went over there 15 years ago, mad keen on yoga too, she loved it. She was in her 30's at the time and I don't think ever came back.

Dubai isn't for me but as a child of parents who moved around a lot in my youth, going overseas for a few years at a time is interesting and some of those countries were in the M.East.. I learned a lot, different people, different lifestyles, snippets of languages (whereas my brother learned fluent French while living in Lebanon) and am certainly not shy. It can have perks for children and they will experience a very different and innocent Dubai than you do.

Saying that, 5 years in once places is a long time...

This.

I'd hate it there. Money isn't everything (unless your love shopping - I hate the vacuous pursuit).

Are you a sahm or working op? I ask because your life will change a fair bit. As a sahm it would be a new place to get used to, and making new friends etc. If you do work then what about your job?

I think that is important regardless of location. Being a trailing spouse can be lonely at the best of times where ever you choose abroad , despite being among a large expat community and potentially hiring “help”, and alienated from family , friends and UK life while trying to negotiate local social rules. Harder if your dh is away a lot.

It is a long time since we visited but a relative lived there as a single woman and carved out a lifestyle among similar expats as Dubai developed. She says it is a safe place to live, feels respected, had access to good healthcare, with plenty to do if something of a cultural desert, yet spends 4/5 months a year when the climate becomes too hot in UK, visiting friends and family, enjoying the seasons and cultural life. Maybe that creates a balance. However ime most will put a gloss on their lives there(and in other places popular with expats) but that may be as much to convince themselves it is all worth it. If you plan to return your dc to education in UK the transition may be trickier than expected, academically and socially.

Dubai, no way. I grew up in Muscat, I’d do that again

So many people tar Dubai with the brush of what they see on holiday. I moved out here last year with my older kids - initially unconvinced about the place but with my husbands work. Yes you do get a lot of the money obsessed vacuous people, however there is SO much more to the place than all of that. There is so much to do, so many totally normal people (you always find your tribe) and so much to explore. I’ve come to love it as have the kids who are living their best lives as teens. Sure it’s an adjustment and the first few months were tough but every weekend is like a holiday and there are endless places to explore.

I also still love the U.K. and we’ll definitely come back at some point. Also I always say I wish I’d been here when the kids were little because there are endless things to do with little ones. Just a lot of those are indoors in the hotter months but then it’s like when it rains in the uk and you can’t go out. What I would say though is we won’t be here in the school summer holidays!

Do you really want your very small children to spend their early years - five years is a massive chunk out of their childhood - in a place you instinctively hate (rightly so, imo)?

This would be a hard no for me. No amount of money would make it worth it.

I’d agree with this, unless you have a career of your own that you wouldn’t be able to follow in Dubai. Resentments eat away at relationships.

This.

There was a very alarming thread on here a few months ago, from a mum who’d moved to Oz and was desperate to return but her DH wasn’t, and posters had to basically spell it out to her that there was a chance her children would never come back with her.

Don’t do it.