Do you know anyone who came around to liking Dubai despite being VERY reluctant at first?

[Gronty]

Dh is a pilot. He’s at a crossroads in his career. He can stay with his airline and go onto make very very comfortable money when he takes command in the not too distant future. Or we can take the jump to a ME airline and immediately double his salary. The dilemma is should we delay gratification I suppose.

I personally am in the camp of disliking Dubai and sort of side eye the types of people who like it. I have been previously and it’s everything I hate - superficiality, vanity, consumption etc. I see it as a shiny veneer that isn’t real. And not to mention slavery, women’s rights etc.

I spend a lot of time outdoors - bike rides with kids, dog walks etc. I am not in the camp of “England has gone to shit so let’s leave” at all.

Dh is desperate to go. He has an offer. He says we would only be gone for 5 years as a plan. Build up savings. And if we really didn’t get on we’d come back but only as an absolute last resort. The package is very generous but I enjoyed a typically English childhood and would ideally give my kids (1,3 and 5) the same. My dogs would also struggle with the heat (retrievers).

I really don’t think it’s worth it. We are doing absolutely fine right now. Not living in the lap of luxury but we don’t have to worry about bills and we can treat ourselves regularly. When DH takes command we will be much better off.

Do you know anyone who has come around to Dubai?

No. Especially as a woman.

The other thing is dh is currently working for a large, low cost airline. He sleeps in our bed every night. Yes, sometimes that might be 2am but he almost never has nights away. It’s a pretty decent work/life balance. Especially in Winter when he has a lot of spare time. The ME airline would be long haul so that changes our lives drastically. Currently dh is able to do at least a pick up/drop off for school 3 times a week on average

Could he go on his own and you guys go out there in the holidays?

You'd also have to contend with the, I've chosen to move here and cannot ever even comprehend that the place I used to live is remotely ok anymore and all I do is endlessly praise this country, expats. It gets old.

Does it have to be Dubai?

I have a friend in Abu Dhabi (long term, has brought up kuds there, is into outdoorsy life and camping). She likes Abu Dhabi but would be reluctant to live in Dubai.

Five years is a very long time especially for your children. And if you break up while you are there you will be forced to either stay there or leave without your children. Stick to your guns and say no. Money isn't everything.

There is no amount of money in the world that would make me move to Dubai, especially if I was comfortable and didn’t need the extra money. For all the reasons you mentioned.

Random question but what are ages? I only ask as I knew of a pilot who moved to Dubai and do the long haul for the 5years, save and run idea. The difference was he was in his 50s, kids had grown and left home so it was go out for 5years, work hard, save harder, then come back to UK and retire early.
possibly your dh has heard the same as we may work for the same airline. I wouldn’t personally go, it doesn’t even appeal for a holiday. I get the money is good, but a pilots salary is hardly living on the breadline anyway

Funny enough I follow Jamelia (singer) who moved to Dubai, she cant sing Dubai's praises enough. Yesterday I heard her say its the best decision she ever made and would never come back, obviously she's famous so her experiences may be a lot different.

Can he go and you stay in England??

“Investing in people” - you must be joking!!!

The people who make Dubai work - all the foreign workers - pay with blood, sweat and tears. Literally.

So if you move to Dubai, your DH is going to be away for days at a time and you will have no support network and 2 small children. You really need to work through the implications of this and be comfortable with it before you consider an international move as an international move on its own is already stressful without any additional pressures.

Are you sure the Dubai deal is as good as he thinks? I lived in Dubai and it was common knowledge that pilots for the local airlines weren't very well paid at all. They tended to be older pilots who were winding down their careers.

She’s the sort of person I would imagine would love Dubai though. So that wouldn’t inspire me to go.

What the malls, why not take them swimming, sand boarding, on boat trips, visits to nearby areas, on play, to museums etc instead?

I have been there on holiday twice and haven’t visited a mall as I was too busy doing back to back activities.

I know someone who did this and did come home after 5 years when the long haul flights themselves got tiring (even with the benefits of being C.) as he got older.

I think I would go. We arent on this planet for long so a 5 year different experience is part of lifes rich tapestry. You will hopefully get a good chance to travel to places that would be a drag from the UK.

I wouldnt expect to love the place but I think it would be interesting. And youll be back in a blink of an eye.

Do the maths very carefully. Rent is sky high, everything costs more than the uk, does the job come with healthcare, pension scheme etc? It’s easy to look at a headline figure and think “that’s more” but I know one family who returned from Dubai broke as the cost of living was so high and another from Australia recently

We’ve got a pilot friend who lives in a similar
place and they go from one air conditioned building to another.

Also I can not get over the slavery they are using and the missing princesses.

Does it have to be Dubai? Some.of the other ME states are much less flashy, like Oman.

I think I'd agree to do it for a year or two and see how it went. The nest egg would be nice and your kids aren't in school yet so you wouldn't be disrupting them too much. Think I'd insist of coming home for th

summer weeks as well maybe air bnb a place for July and August

Investing in foreign workers and then taking their passports away so they can’t leave more like.
They’ve also locked up many British people for things that wouldn’t be a crime here.

And then you’ve got the ruling lot committing crimes themselves just look up the missing princess.

My sister and BIL did exactly this. He ended up having an affair with a cabin crew woman and it was awful. That came on the back of finding out the nanny they hired was physically abusing their toddler. Don’t underestimate the effect the misogynistic, individualistic, massively unequal culture will have, on him, you, and your kids, is all I will say.

Hmmm - i moved to Dubai from South London and felt very safe. I was rarely stared at.
It is only very hot for about 3 months of the year.

I dont see the appeal for a holiday. I do see the appeal of living there with young children.

OP have you spent any time with expat families in Dubai? You can do outdoorsy.

You do need to think about where you keep your money, what happens if you split up, what happens to your career.

Have you ruled out all countries with no or questionable democracy?

Op support your husband and his career. Preventing this because you don’t want to it will lead to resentment and ultimately divorce further down the line. whilst you sound like the type that will re write history to suit their one narrative and to take no responsibility for things going wrong, please remember this when the time arises.

What are you so scared of?

I don’t know Dubai but I remember a friend whose father was a pilot and she said that her mum was basically like a single mother as her father was away so much. So please bear in mind that you may be dealing with a new country on your own for a good chunk of the time.

with regards to activities, there will be replacements such as learning to swim in the sea vs a pool, other water sports etc