Sons grandma gave him a girls top…

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My sons grandma gave him a rash vest for Christmas. It’s bright baby pink with rainbows all over. It’s not frilly/cutesy/pastel style but it’s definitely a “girly/girls” rash vest. Im chill with him wearing pink, like a pink polo or pink “boys” clothes, but pink “girly” clothes pushes it way too far for me and this rash vest is something you’d only find in the girls section of a shop.
My boyfriend and her are both super progressive (my bf less so though) and he noticed that some of the rainbows are also “trans flag colour” rainbows, so when he questioned her about it he asked in a joking but pissed off way “why tf are you dressing him in pride sh*t? Is he a political tool??” and she was like “don’t you want him to be an ally? I thought you’d want him to be an ally??” And the conversation ended.

He didn’t ask about the fact that it’s a girls top cos apparently he doesn’t care too much about that. Nothings been said about it between them since when they’ve talked on the phone, and my sons dad is just like “well he’s not gonna wear it so whatever”.
I don’t feel the same way. I feel very fkn gross about the whole thing, someone using my kid for ‘activism’, but cbf bringing it up cos I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable and a hater. Also obviously I would want my kid to be an “ally” but like he’s fkn 2?? The whole thing just feels fully cooked to me?

Oh my god. I simply described the situation and find out if I’m being unreasonable or not. I didn’t come here to trash talk anyone. But I guess I am being unreasonable then so cheers?

Well if bf is bi and bestie is trans why would grandma think it was a bad idea?

if it’s just pink with lots of rainbows?

Honestly, who cares? My 3 year old is wearing a boys football kit today because she wants to. Clothes are only gendered if you want them to be. And FWIW, I think your Grandma is winding you up re the ally comment. And your partner sounds annoying.

This never happened the most?

Yes you are being unreasoble and aggressive

You're massively overthinking this. Even if it is a trans pride rash vest, wearing it doesn't turn anyone into a political billboard.

Just get rid of it if you don't like it and move on.

So you can only be “progressive” if you’re a true trans ally?
who gets to decide if you’re good enough? 🤨

I think she’s being quite unreasonable and little one owns a whole rainbow pride outfit and most days chooses to wear her rainbow pride bows (as opposed to the other gazillion rainbow bows she owns).

Unless your child already wears ‘girls’ clothes, buying him something he won’t wear and doesn’t like isn’t a gift and I would be unhappy.

Having trans colours doesn’t make it a trans pride item though, lots of children’s clothes are in the same colours and they are probably just rainbows. I don’t think that’s the main issue here.

In that case, why is the post about a “girl’s top” and not about a “trans ally” top?

If the child doesn't care then I don't understand why you do. Ignore the grandma.
No one should be dressed is those shitty "girl" clothes anyway, it's almost impossible to buy normal clothes for children in UK shops that aren't pink, purple, or with stupid hearts/unicorns/cheesy messaging...

We spent the weekend in the forest by minus 3, and everywhere I could little girls who must have been freezing cold in their little sparkly dresses 🙄Parents are ridiculous (funny how the mums weren't dressed in pink skirts in this weather).

it devolved into a different issue I guess. That was the issue my bf had with it, the political billboard bit which I didn’t notice, that’s out of my realm, I was just stuck on “why girls clothes tho”? Especially cos she had said he could grow up to be like meryl Streep when he had been a show off a few days before.

That's strange, because I googled "child's rash vest pink with rainbows" and it brought up dozens.

FYI I have no dog in this fight. I just can't stand liars.

Yeah that’s definitely a possibility

Rainbows ≠ LGBTQ.

You can wear rainbows or have rainbows around your house and that does not mean you support or are part of the LGBTQ community. Just because the rainbow is a symbol for our community, doesn't mean that is all it's associated with.

~Signed, a person in the LGBTQ community.

Today my little one was out on the farm, helping me defrost water troughs, feed all the animals, take the horses out and put some electric fencing back up (she watched for that part).

I was wearing my pyjamas underneath a pair of my husbands outdoor combat style trousers, an old university sweater and muck boots. She was wearing a pink striped 60s style dress, white frilly long sleeve T-shirt, oversized knit jumper and her pink coat with tights and pink wellies- also mittens. What you can’t see is the thermal top, leggings, socks and vest underneath. She was perfectly fine.

She chooses her own clothes, in the shops and in the mornings (within reason) and has done since she was able to speak in full sentences at about 2.5. Before that everything was pretty neutral/functional. I am not a girly girl, not by a long stretch, yet she is into everything pink, glitter, flowers, frills and always has been. I let her express herself how she likes. There’s nothing wrong with being girly, she’s also a horse girl (always muddy), an academic overachiever, into sports, best friends with a boy etc etc.

’Girls’ clothes are normal clothes, clothes are just clothes.