Sons grandma gave him a girls top…

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My sons grandma gave him a rash vest for Christmas. It’s bright baby pink with rainbows all over. It’s not frilly/cutesy/pastel style but it’s definitely a “girly/girls” rash vest. Im chill with him wearing pink, like a pink polo or pink “boys” clothes, but pink “girly” clothes pushes it way too far for me and this rash vest is something you’d only find in the girls section of a shop.
My boyfriend and her are both super progressive (my bf less so though) and he noticed that some of the rainbows are also “trans flag colour” rainbows, so when he questioned her about it he asked in a joking but pissed off way “why tf are you dressing him in pride sh*t? Is he a political tool??” and she was like “don’t you want him to be an ally? I thought you’d want him to be an ally??” And the conversation ended.

He didn’t ask about the fact that it’s a girls top cos apparently he doesn’t care too much about that. Nothings been said about it between them since when they’ve talked on the phone, and my sons dad is just like “well he’s not gonna wear it so whatever”.
I don’t feel the same way. I feel very fkn gross about the whole thing, someone using my kid for ‘activism’, but cbf bringing it up cos I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable and a hater. Also obviously I would want my kid to be an “ally” but like he’s fkn 2?? The whole thing just feels fully cooked to me?

Exactly.

Why would you care about something that gets infrequent wear on such a young child?

If you make it into a big thing about pink and rainbows being for girls and not boys you are far more likely to give him issues as he gets older and starts understanding these attitudes.

Just ask him if he likes it in a neutral way or if he hasn't seen it and you really hate it just take it to the charity shop. Not worth making any big deal about.

Ah OK, sorry, I got the wrong end of the stick 👍

It’s not a “trans pride” rash vest. Some of the rainbows are pink white and blue and to my boyfriend apparently that instantly means trans pride, and he believed his mum would have thought the same.

I wouldn't give two shits about him wearing a 'girls' top (it's just a top with a label that says Girls on it) but I would be stamping immediately on anyone trying to co-opt my child into their political view points.

I would just charity shop it. What a werid thing to do to a 2 year old.

What do you think is going to happen if your son wears pink and rainbows?

Can we see a photo of it? It’s difficult to judge without seeing it.

They are also just normal colours!! If you don’t like it, don’t wear it, but no need to make such a drama out of a perfectly normal rash vest (which you know has no relation to a political statement).

Pink used to be the 'gendered' colour for boys.

How can you not care about him wearing pink but in the next breath say 'gendered pink clothes' if you don't care about pink?

Thank you!

I don’t know why so many people are giving lip and commenting on what I should do about the top. I’m well aware I can take it to the op shop, and that he doesn’t have to wear it. It’s the whole premise of my kid being a ‘political’ billboard that doesn’t sit right with me.

If your son wants to wear it, let him. If he doesn't want to, donate it. Stop instilling in him the idea that anything pink and rainbows is girly and therefore akin to kryptonite to him.

Sorry if it’s your sons top then it’s a boys top ?

What does this even mean? 🤣

A rainbow being pink white and blue does not make it a political top.

She literally said “don’t you want him to be an ally??”

Giving lip 😂 who do you think you are talking to?

maybe granny is winding you up for fun. I can see why.

Thats fine you don't have to put it on him, you also didn't need to start a thread about how terrible his grandmother is, but here we are.

This. Please and thank you.

Oh and no one cared that my DD wore ‘boy’s’ rash vests because sharks are more fun than prey. Because girls in ‘boy’s’ clothes is a promotion. Vice versa is a demotion. Which is why we have <waves hands around> all this toxic gendered nonsense.

If your kid likes sharks or rainbows, buy stuff with sharks or rainbows. Stop pushing crap on children.

I agree. It never even crossed my mind til my boyfriend bought it up. But as I wrote, she then quite literally said “don’t you want him to be an ally?”

What makes it "gendered"?

Right but this was in response to your boyfriend throwing a shit fit because HE had decided that rainbows are a trans pride symbol. It doesn't sound like she bought it for that reason - just that she doesn't get why he cares when he's supposedly progressive?

Can you post a picture of it? Because what you've described sounds like a perfectly normal children's garment, if a less typical top for a boy.

Just so you're aware, it's pretty common for nurseries etc to celebrate Pride in an age appropriate way. It's not really ever too early for children to learn that all forms of love between consenting adults, in healthy relationships are to be celebrated.

What are you talking about, do you want to post a picture or a link to the top so there is context ?

She's probably winding you up like a PP said. She's picked up that you and your boyfriend thought it might be political and she's winding you up about it. It still doesn't make it a political top even if she did.