Should the person who earns more pay more for joint holiday friends not partners

[Libbykitty]

Just that really.

2 friends going on holiday, should the person who earns more pay more say 75 ler cent of holiday cost, neither person wealthy, but one is part time and the other is full time so earns more.

Welcome thoughts as I am unsure.

Agree, wonder if was expecting “OF COURSE they should pay more!! If they truly valued your friendship they’d pay!!”…🙄

I think it depends on what the holiday is. If it’s a cheap and cheerful one that is well within both friends’ budgets then it should be 50/50. If the friend who is better off is insisting on going somewhere more expensive then I think they should put more towards it or accept that you might need/want to stay somewhere cheaper.

I had a similar thing years ago with a friend. There were plenty of nice hotels we could have gone to but my friend wanted a specific one that was out of my budget (and to be honest I didn’t think looked like it was worth the extra). She was really keen though so she suggested I pay what I would have paid if we’d have gone with one of the cheaper options (ie half) and she would pay the rest. It was a couple of hundred £ more for her I think but she could easily afford it so was happy to do it to stay in the place she wanted. I did feel a bit guilty and did treat her to a nice meal out when we were there (we were all incl so majority of other expenses already covered) but we were close friends and she insisted that it really wasn’t an issue for her so we just forgot about it and enjoyed the holiday. It may not work for everyone but it worked well for us.

As the higher earner on holiday with a cherished, long time, uni friend, I quietly subsidised. We sort of alternated but she'd buy tickets for a museum and I'd pay for dinner so I did the heavier lifting. Splitting 50/50 was not important to me aside from not trampling her pride.

Ultimately, the holiday cost her dearly: she tested positive for COVID so couldn't fly and had to stay in France until she achieved a negative test which meant extra accomodation and time off work even though she did a lot remotely. This irritated her DH b/c she was gone much longer and spent much more than they planned. Plus ... he had told her not to go and was annoyed that we had a jolly without him or my DH.

Well this is a shame.

I work full time, in part to be able to pay for nice holidays.
I thought I'd seen an opportunity to work fewer hours and just get friends to pay more instead.

Sadly, it seems that most of MN does not agree this is a viable plan.
Guess I just have to keep paying for myself :)

No!

In the same logic you could argue the part timer should pay more as the full timer needs a break more!

Is the low earner thick, or just greedy?

If a holiday costs £3k per person, and two friends want to go, then they each pay £3k. Who is struggling with this concept?

On what planet does someone say, well, I can only be arsed to work part time, and that means, I only get paid £2k. Because you work harder to get more money, oh dearest friend, you need to fund £1k of the holiday I want but can't afford.

Two options for the freeloading tit here.

A) Work harder like your friend so you've got enough money to pay both bills and leisure time.

B) Accept you are too poor for this holiday and pick what your lifestyle can afford.

I'd bin off any friend who tried to pull this shit. Partly because being so entitled is an ugly quality and I don't want to be associated with that, and partly because I can't believe anyone would be that much of a moron not to understand why it's an absolute joke to even suggest it.

Her lower earnings were the least of her problems here.

For most people, 50/50 would be absolutely fair.

Exactly !

No. The only exception is if a rich person really wants a poorer person to accompany them on a holiday they know they couldn't afford on their own or if, for example, the richer person is insisting on a luxury holiday rather than one both people could afford.

No, each pays for themselves and it should be affordable for both in the first place.

No, of course not. If the person who earns less can't afford the holiday, they can't go. If they can afford the holiday, they should pay half.

I think the lower earner is allowed to say "my budget is X" (with a realistic budget) and if higher earner wants to go somewhere that costs x+? then they can choose to cover the difference or go with the cheaper option (in good spirits) or not go together at all.

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

If OP never came back does that make her the one looking to pay 25% 👀

No, of course not!

I have never heard of anything more ridiculous. Of course not.

Not clear what the voting represents, but it would be completely unreasonable not to split the costs 50/50!

Just to add, I would never have asked or expected her to pay more and I only agreed because she offered and was very insistent it would be the best solution all round. I was perfectly happy to pay 50/50 in a more affordable hotel or step aside for her to go away with someone else.

I guess it also depends why the part timer is part time

I wouldn’t want to subsidise a lifestyle choice

The cost of flights, accommodation etc should be 50/50. The only caveat is the better off party understanding the worse off one might need 2 star rather than 5 star. I went away with a friend recently - she had been unwell and didn’t have as much cash as our previous getaways. She did some free stuff whilst I did some paid stuff because she didn’t want me to miss out and was happy to find a compromise. It worked for us - communication was key. But we have always gone our separate ways on holidays at least for the odd hour here and there because we are different people with different interests.

But are you hoping that your friend stumps up more money towards the cost of the holiday?

Lol, the low earner is a CF to have even put this option on the table.

How could the high earner ever have been a CF?

They should pay the same for the holiday. And it should be a holiday that the one with less money can actually afford.

Then if the one with more money decides they go someplace extra special to eat one night then they can pay for them both. But there should be no expectations.

No.

That said, the better off party needs to be willing to go with what works for the lower budget. If they don't want that then they should be willing to subsidise, but not otherwise.