To think 'experiences' are a bad gift to give someone?

[Ved]

Bought sometimes for around £30 to £40, but often end up costing the recipient much more to use them. (With travel expenses, and sometimes accommodation, as some of them take 3-4 hours or more to get to in a car, and even longer on a train or a bus?!)

AIBU to think no-one should be buying an 'experience' as a gift for someone, unless they know they want it?

That’s a nice present. Our DS sometimes gets us tickets for a show or exhibition but he knows we’ll go and enjoy it.

Dreadful, and expensive to use. In-laws give them and we haven’t used one yet. Things we would never ever choose to do. Poor thoughts and waste of money.

Tickets to the theatre/zoo/cinema are great, as are specific restaurant vouchers.

What I don't love are the vouchers from the big Gift Experience providers. We've had a few from family who genuinely believe the spiel that (eg) you can stay in one of 200 hotels up and down the country. But they all turn out to be in duff locations, and/or only valid for Wednesday nights from Jan-Feb, or need to be pre-booked 3 months ahead by calling a special number before sending a smoke signal, or some other bizarre restriction.

So how do you swap a escape room experience 200 miles away? Someone might take it off your hands, but you d be as well off to have been given no gift

That's how I feel.

I’d hate one and I abhor gift vouchers. Just a money making scheme for the shop / business/ restaurant when people forget or loose them. Cash is king. I wish more people stopped buying gifts. Everyone has too much crap anyway.

I think you have a point. Great gift if you know the recipient wants it, otherwise not so much.

In the past I’ve been gifted spa experiences which is totally not my thing at all and I didn’t really want (I did use just so that it wasn’t wasted), and restaurant sort of things which I might have enjoyed but had a short expiry date and I didn’t have time to fit it in.

I live in a city so wouldn’t usually need to factor in travel expenses as most things are close by.

Yes - apart from the fact that I dislike spas in general, all my great 'experience' gifts have been where the giver organised it, took me there and did it with me. I have never used any of the experience vouchers I've been given, and it's awful when the giver keeps asking if you've been yet.

Last Christmas my husband gifted me a day trip for 2 that I’d long fancied and as I opened it he said “I’ve checked and we go any day of the week and I’ve already lined up [BIL] to look after the kids whatever day we go” like he knew exactly what my first thoughts were going to be!

Agree there’s a difference between an ‘experience’ like a hot air balloon ride that’s only valid in one location 27 miles from Exeter on the third Wednesday after a full moon, and just a voucher for a restaurant or a beauty salon. I’ve had some great gift experiences though. I’ve had some brilliant experience gifts though. I like trying daft things.

Really depends. We were given a pasta making workshop, local to us, no travel costs or other annoyances, and it was a really fun evening.

Works for us but it’s because we ask for them for the kids instead of them getting more stuff. All three have birthdays near Christmas with the oldest just a month after Christmas.

We ask for the really big indoor soft play near us because all three of ours can play in them and we make a day of it because they have a nice outdoor play area as well and a lovely farm shop sticks everyone’s boxes.

Same. And you can't always swap for something else. And even if you can, it will often be at the same place or closeby. So if it's 150 miles away, if you swap it, it will very likely be a similar distance away.

I'm sure it was for you, but I would have not appreciated that and wouldn't have gone. An evening at a pasta making workshop sounds thunderously dull.

YANBU

I would much, much rather the gifter just invited me out for lunch!

We can’t drive and DH was given a gift for an experience an over hour’s bus ride away. It only covers him, so we have to pay for me and children. He is not going there alone, it’s a family day out type thing. We also have a newborn…

The gift giver is not local and I suspect just googled experiences near us. They previously gave DH an even worse one that he never used because we could not get there without an extremely expensive taxi.

I did have a balloon ride once - via a voucher. But it was cancelled FOUR TIMES, because of the weather. (The weather didn't even seem that bad to be honest!) They told people (phoned them) the night before at around 9pm the night before.

Luckily for me - we lived 7 miles from the site they left from. Most of the people who booked at the same time though, lived 40-50 miles away, and a few had booked a hotel room the night before, as it was a very early start (6am start!) Also, they had arranged childcare, turned down shifts from work, and arranged transport (if they couldn't drive) meaning someone else had taken their morning off to take them.

And they had to do this five times!

When something is weather dependent, it can be a pain in the arse, because it can be cancelled over and over again.

That's awful. I wouldn't have gone to be honest. As I said in my OP, these gift experiences can end up costing the recipient twice as much as the thing cost the giver in the first place. (Or more than twice!)

😆 This made me laugh as much as the poster who said '27 miles from Exeter on the third Wednesday of the month after a fulll moon' or something similar!

It depends. Both DH and I got vouchers as part of our respective retirement gifts from one of the big providers. Mine was for a 2 night hotel stay which we used to give us a couple of nights in Southampton before embarking on a special cruise. We really appreciated it and it made for a lovely start to our holiday. We would have stayed down the night before the cruise anyway, so it meant that our only extra expense were a couple of dinners out. DH could choose what he wanted so he picked a trip to the Lift at Battersea Power Station with a meal in an Indian restaurant there. It was great.

like others, I would only buy if I was sure that it was something the recipient would enjoy. I often get restaurant or theatre vouchers for example.

I just mean - why single out experiences? Thoughtless gifts are generally a bad idea whatever category they fall into.

What I've found though - the difference with bad experience gifts:

With a thoughtless gift, you can just quietly regift it (if there is someone it is more appropriate for), or give it to charity - so there isn't cost or inconvenience to the receiver here, and the social protocol is usually to just say 'thank you' at the moment of receiving - either in person, or by text etc.

However, with an experience gift, the giver generally wants to hear when you are doing the experience, what it was it like etc, see the photos etc. putting pressure on the receiver to comply with the expense, inconvenience etc.

I once gave an inappropriate experience gift away to a friend for which it was much more suitable for (not re-gifting for a birthday etc. just a 'here - this looks like something you might like'). The giver was not impressed.

Some sporty members of my family love giving sporty experiences to me - they are just completely unsuitable. I'm AuDHD (takes some investment and thought for me to organise myself for, and to come around to a new activity), also very dyspraxic, with a delicate joint replacement and back/other joint issues (disabled to some extent). Not to mention the 50-60 hour per week job, travelling every week for work, the 3 young children etc. I do exercise in my own ways - particularly walking. The experience gift feels like a way of them trying to impose what they see as their 'better' lifestyles upon me (whereas their lifestyles are simply not an option for me).

"Most people are not going to live near to where the "experience is"

Well that is just you making assumptions and talking about individual situations.
I love having an experience bought for me and I buy them regularly for those lose to me. 99% of the experiences are local to me or to the person I buy for.

Afternoon tea's within 10 miles, spa days within 5-10 miles, car track days within 10 miles a blacksmithing course 3 miles away, a falconry experience 5-10 miles away....

I wouldn't buy an experience for someone knowing that they had to travel half the country to get there unless they had asked for it.

If I am honest and brutal I think the fact you are receiving experiences that are so far for you to travel and you aren't enjoying says more about your friends and family buying you presents you don't like / not thinking about them than anything else.

I’ve had one this Christmas, and I appreciate the thought but it is a bit of a pain. It seems like another chore, something I’ve got to remember to do. The same person gave us similar before and we forgot about it and lost the voucher.

Well I would hope your friends know you well enough not to buy you that then....
A pasta making workshop sounds amazing to me, but being gifted alcohol, chocolate, clothes etc is of zero interest to me, we are all different.

I think this post ultimately comes down to nothing to do with experiences being the issue, as I and a lot of people love them. The issue is you are being gifted something you don't like, communicate that with your friends and family so they don't buy it again.

Telling someone I appreciate the thought but it's not a gift I can/want to use is not something I struggle with, but I can see why some people might.