To think 'experiences' are a bad gift to give someone?

[Ved]

Bought sometimes for around £30 to £40, but often end up costing the recipient much more to use them. (With travel expenses, and sometimes accommodation, as some of them take 3-4 hours or more to get to in a car, and even longer on a train or a bus?!)

AIBU to think no-one should be buying an 'experience' as a gift for someone, unless they know they want it?

I love an experience gift! You can always swap the activity if you need to. Especially with buy a gift. We’ve done so many brilliant activities and days out. We do live in London though, so maybe it’s easier for us to Get places

I don't eat cakes or sandwiches often but that's why I like afternoon tea, when the cakes and sandwiches are really amazing and delicious and there is an excuse to eat a lot of them! Of course if they aren't any good then it's a waste of calories. But I've had some really delicious afternoon teas.

I only gift an experience if I am taking the recipient to do it, otherwise I don’t gift them (took my nephews to do indoor skydiving, for example).

I was gifted an experience that actually ended up being an obligation, so I think you should know your recipient really well before you gift them.

Reading this thread has made me reflect on a few experiences we have had. It seems great on paper but the reality is different. We had a generous one of £250. For that we got a hotel stay for one night, an afternoon tea and a boat trip in the Lake District. I wouldn’t have spent the money on it so I was pleased.
However, it felt like the only place we could spend it was there and we are only an hour away. Everything else I would have had to put an extra £100 to which for one night away is expensive.

Im normally good at spending vouchers but I find it a pressure to get it booked within the expiry date

depends on the person, depends on the experience.
I bought my son a day doing proper falconary in the woods, and it was one of the best days ever.
sending me to the spa would be a complete waste of time

A few years back, Alexei Sayle did a brilliant monologue on his "Imaginary Sandwich Bar" (BBC) about a couple who received a couples gift experience. In the end the only way out was murder .....

I do love an experience gift. I get lots because we live in a big city (theatre, afternoon tea, vineyards, spa) etc… but I was once gifted a facial for somewhere completely rural and inaccessible, a 45 minute drive away when I didn't have a car 🤨 it was in a salon (multi purpose clearly!) in the tiny village where they live. A totally shit gift by all accounts and completely wasted!

I would love them if I could easily do them. But generally it involves finding a babysitter, train tickets, time off work, a hotel stay and a lot of the time it just doesn’t happen because of the extra expense.

Partner has been given experiences from his workplace, he didn't go to either. He'd much rather had a gift voucher for shopping and I think I agree.

I think you really need to know someone well to get the right gift, and that includes their ability/willingness to get there easily or have any further spending money.

I've never remembered to use an experience I've been gifted. My partner calls them 'gifts of inconvenience'. If someone asks for a skydiving thing or rally driving then you know its what they want, but if gifting something like dinner or afternoon tea you need to take the whole thing into account like babysitting and travel. Maybe work in concert with their partner to check their diary or work together with them on travel etc.

I hate them. They always seem to be in London which is hours from me and costs a fortune in travel.

This is how I feel about them. It’s like an obligation to do something and I resent it a little bit, even if it’s something I’d pay for myself. I’m happy to go to afternoon teas and spas.
I know I’m being totally unreasonable so I’d never admit it to anyone.
I also suspect I’m ND and struggle with gifts in general, both giving and receiving.

urgh this reminds me of the period of experience gifting my fil went through! He gifted a driving, jumping out of an aeroplane and another useless event. I was sick of booking it on an awkward date (Monday -Thursday) and driving 2 hours to get there then again back. I wouldn’t do it again. My husband told his father that he wouldn’t go to the third one as it was too expensive (we had to pay extras!) I think the most thoughtful gifts are hampers of your favourite drink and foods. I love making mine to gift. Money is even better as you can actually buy something you really want. I was gifted enough to buy a Pandora charm this past Christmas! I’m over the moon!

Yes! Often wasted, difficult to plan, miles away, hidden costs, screams last minute, don’t really know the person type of present to me. Just buy a generic gift card and own it.

I totally agree with you.
Experiences vouchers are often given by someone who doesn't know the recipient well enough to get them a personal gift.

The last one I was given was to go zip lining.
I opened it, looked at it & said you must be fucking joking. They looked bewildered & I explained that im terrified of heights, their response was "you'll be fine, it's totally safe" to.which I handed them the voucher and said well it's great you feel that way because you can use it because nothing will get me to go.

Rude? Yes, but im absolutely terrified of heights, & the fear has got worse as I've got older.
I take the long route to avoid walking over a pedestrian bridge over the river & can't drive over the QE II bridge over the Thames.

Experience days are often hard to organise and I don't like the idea of feeling obliged to spend my limited free time doing something I haven't actually chosen to do myself. I like the idea of open ended tickets to a specific museum / theme park etc which is easy to do in a day trip from home and is somewhere that I would have gone anyway but can now do for free / much cheaper. Or vouchers to spend at a restaurant close to home which covers a decent proportion of a meal, theatre vouchers I can choose to spend at a wide range of venues (live just outside London so lots of options).

My parents once got DD an animal experience which could only be used at one place within easy driving distance, but date restrictions meant we couldn't actually fit it in around other stuff and it was a waste of money - which they would have known if they had actually taken the time to look or check with me first.

I agree OP.

I have a sibling who spends a fortune on tickets for things for DH and I and it is such a waste. We live rurally and end up with tickets for a concert on a Sunday night a two hour drive away when we have work in the morning. Another time, tickets to a sports event that we love watching on tv but would cost a fortune to get to and we would have to stay a night either side. Money isn’t necessary the issue for us, more the inconvenience of going to something we don’t really want to go to at a time or place that doesn’t suit.

Best present I ever had was an experience day flying birds of prey and I would do it again in a heartbeat

As a family we have only ever gifted experiences that were local or accessible unless it was one that was being done at a holiday destination.

I like experience gifts but they should be appropriate for the recipient. Something they specifically want to do at a convenient location, with a wide date range to choose from. A random afternoon tea in a hotel miles away from where you live or similar sounds crap unless it's been specifically requested.

No - I love these sorts of gifts!

Last year my sister bought me axe-throwing for my birthday. Would I ever have proactively decided to go axe-throwing? Probably not but it was so much fun. This year for Christmas she bought me a meal out experience sort of thing, yes there is travel involved and it's a remote location so one of us will have to remain sober and drive.

I would much rather this sort of gift than "stuff" which is probably not to my taste, contributes to excessive consumption/production of "stuff" and is killing the planet.

Your vote is confusing OP, but your premise is 100% correct. I’ve had these and they are a massive pain in the arse, and essentially unrefundable to boot. It’s a huge scam, a really high proportion of these are never ‘cashed in’ either, givers are just giving cash away if they give me one of these. Thankfully are getting less popular.

You are not being unreasonable to not want experience gifts yourself, you are unreasonable to say that "no-one should be buying an 'experience' gift." Obviously it depends on how well you know the person and how carefully you think through how they will use it. I have both given and received some very successful "experience" gifts and have enjoyed them much more than I would have enjoyed a thing that would have sat round cluttering up my house for ages!

I agree op.

My daughter got a comedy night at a London club. She’d just had a baby, she lives nowhere near London, and it seemed a lot of money (transport, overnight stay) and hassle (childcare) for something that didn’t interest her

My friend had some sort of distillery tour and cocktail experience from her husband last Christmas. I think he was scraping the bottom of the barrel as he’s given her a few before. Hot air ballooning, escape room etc. She’s teetotal, but would have loved a craft class or pottery painting. He’s a dick though

Totally agree - may work if you know the recipient very well, otherwise nope. Ex DP was given a voucher for the Shard one Christmas. We had a 10 month old baby, no family support, lived over 2 hours away on the wrong side of London so would have cost us more than double the value of the gift itself. Not a priority with a new baby, financially or time wise!