To think 'experiences' are a bad gift to give someone?

[Ved]

Bought sometimes for around £30 to £40, but often end up costing the recipient much more to use them. (With travel expenses, and sometimes accommodation, as some of them take 3-4 hours or more to get to in a car, and even longer on a train or a bus?!)

AIBU to think no-one should be buying an 'experience' as a gift for someone, unless they know they want it?

Pretty much all voucher gifts are like bad cash. Someone has taken a universally accepted form of payment and turned it into something that is only accepted in a smaller number of places and for fewer things. We went through a phase of receiving AllforOne vouchers, which are painful to use. Experience vouchers take this a step further by being really restrictive and adding further cost.

TBH I am really hard to buy presents for, as I rarely want something that I don't actually want. And if I want something, I will generally buy it myself.

I normally buy them for family members when they reach milestone birthdays but I normally get the gift pack where they can choose the experience they want to do, rather than buying a particular experience. They always seem to have gone down well and get used

"Experience days" as a package that you have to book with weird restrictions etc are a pain in the arse.

Experiences like family tickets to the local zoo, a family pass for a local-to-you cinema, theatre vouchers, a gift voucher for a local-to-you restaurant of a type you like - fantastic gifts. I got my best friend vouchers for a posh Thai place near her because it's her favourite type of food and her DP always moans at the waste of money if she suggests eating out. I got my Mum afternoon tea at the Grosvenor Hotel because she'd always wanted to go there. Best friend got me a day workshop at a craft I'd always wanted to try and DH got me tickets to my favourite band.

Every year when the children were little we'd as in-laws for a family membership at a local attraction for Christmas for all of us and we got so much use (and happiness) from that present.

I love them but dd got me a lovely voucher for an expensive, it didn’t cover the whole cost so by the time I’d paid and travel/food/drink I’d spent £175!!

We had a spate of them a few years ago. We don't live near the locations and by the time we factored in travel, possibly staying over, time off work, childcare (often with relatives involving time out of school because these vouchers always seem to be restricted to weekdays in term time) it costs us more than the price of the gift voucher in the first place. So we started thanking the sender, sticking them in the drawer and moving on. Then the endless "have you used it yet, what did you think, show us the photos", then the hurt and sulking because what they thought was a thoughtful gift was not really thought through. But for childless people with lots of free time who live in or very near one of the major cities, then I'm sure they are fine if you like that sort of thing. The afternoon tea ones are particularly egregious imo - terribly value for money.

Truthfully I think they are lazy presents - quite often they are very restrictive so people struggle with them l.

also my bug bear is people who buy gift vouchers from nice restaurants and it’s not enough to cover a meal for two. Sorry if that makes me sound really ungrateful, but basically to be able to enjoy the voucher it means it will cost me money. I don’t mean it needs to be a fortune and it certainly doesn’t need to cover alcohol but it should at least pay for two people to have a meal together - because isn’t that the point?

if you can’t afford to buy a gift voucher for meal for two people then please consider another gift which is better for your budget.

I like theatre tickets or vouchers, especially if for a specific date. I like vouchers for local treatment rooms (massage/facials etc). I don't like the generic wowcher ones or anything that requires more extensive organisation. DH got me a hotel one when DCs were young but it would have been loads better if he had organised the dates, childcare etc. Covid intervened and it lapsed, but not before he looked into using it (I insisted he figure out logistics) and realised most hotels required a supplement. That kind of a thing is a rip off and I hate the idea of people wasting money on a voucher that won't get used.

I do get my parents theatre tokens sometimes but I also know they go to the theatre, a lot, there is no expiry date, so they will get used. It's a contribution to their hobby I suppose rather than definitely covering two tickets. Or it might cover 3, depending on the selected seats... but basically they can put it towards something they enjoy already and there's no expectation to use it all up 100% in one go.

I’ve regularly given friends and family ‘experiences’ vouchers. All have been well received and enjoyed. I tailored the voucher to what the recipient would enjoy, local to them and relating to their interests.

I would only gift someone an experience if I knew it was something they would enjoy. It would also have to be something convenient to get to. I live in a large city so there is plenty of choice.

A few years back someone gifted me a session in a music studio to make a demo record. She knew I had a good voice and it was an interesting trip The studio was a small one in central Manchester and only a short bus ride from my home. I enjoyed it and also learned something about the music industry. I still have the record although I no lonver have anything to play it on. My sis who is sporty has been gifted ones for zip -wiring and go-karting. I know she enjoyed the excitement even if she chose not to do them again. I would have hated those.

It really depends on the recipient. My siblings often buy them for my parents even though they never use them. They either give them away or let them go to waste.

A well thought out experience gift will not be a burden to the recipient. It will be close to their home and convenient to use. It sounds like the people in your life are just bad at selecting gifts.

I live in a village about a 70 min drive from nearest city. I work up to 20 hours above my hours (not by choice) every week. I travel for work 20-30 weeks of the year. I have 3 children aged 3 > 9. I am a taxi for clubs and kids all weekend and many of the weeknights when I am at home. Life is 1000000 miles an hour.

Last year someone got me a chain restaurant voucher which had to be used by mid February, and only on a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday 1700 > 1900.

As the end date approached the gift giver started texting me to remind me to use it.

I told her there was just no way I could fit it in, and offered for her to take it back and use it herself. I thought she'd take the hint that this sort of present doesn't work for me (she's been getting them for me for years), but have been giving the same thing this year except this time its a 'crafting' session. Wish she'd just give the money to charity.

Oh dear. Good example of why it's not a great idea.

Reminds me of a friend I have who got a Escape Room experience in the summer, and she is severely claustrophobic.

She lives in a small town in Lancashire, and the experience was in London.

Everything taken into account - the logistics and cost and claustrophobia, she simply didn't do it. It cost £120 too ... (It was for 2 people.)

The person who got it for her was really snitty and arsey that she didn't go, and she was like 'well what do you expect?'

The examples you highlight OP, I agree - very bad gifts. But if done well - i.e. with thought and, if appropriate, the addition of logistical support, I think they can be brilliant. Have had several over the years and enjoyed all but one, even when they've really just highlighted my unsuitability for the activity. The one I didn't manage to enjoy was a spa voucher that was well considered and came with the offer of babysitting while I took advantage, but unfortunately the business was struggling and I never managed to redeem it. Another though, lead to me taking up a hobby that has become a passion, and for that I am unbelievably grateful. For me, they've had a much higher "hit" rate than gifts that are things.

Some gifts hit the mark and others don't. The less thought and effort the giver puts in to choosing, the more likely they are to be a dud. I don't think it's reasonable to tar all experiences with the same brush. However, if someone's looking for a quick, no effort gift they can email, a gift voucher is a much better bet.

we’ve had a few that we just haven’t used ,it’s awful really. We had a rather expensive overnight one with meal paid for and we literally booked on the last weekend before it expired ( 12 months later) I think the hotel were a bit frustrated and tried to keep selling us extras !!

For the last 2 years DMIL has bought DS and his partner an experience’. Not a voucher though, she actually BOOKS something for them on a specific date without checking that they’re available. This year’s experience is for a Friday night and the day after GF’s birthday, last year’s was the Saturday following DS’s birthday. This is for a couple in their early 20’s with busy social lives. Only saving grace is that last year’s was within walking distance of their flat and this year’s is under a 10 minute drive away.

Well yes @RawBloomers if a lot of thought goes into it, and you know they will like it, and make sure if it's a bit far away the travel is included/accounted for, then it can be good. But as I said, buying (eg) an Escape Room experience for someone who is claustrophobic, and in a place that's 200 miles away, that is an expensive place to get to and stay in anyway, (London) is a bit thoughtless.

Those of you moaning about these - you do realise it's very easy to swap the experience right? You just log on and can swap it, extend the date etc. all very easy. If you still can't find anything for yourself you could swap it for something a friend might like and gift it to someone else (pass the problem along a little bit!)

I personally prefer experiences over gifts

I think they are great if you know the recipient definitely wants to go and it's local and has good dates. I've bought a a few and received one this Christmas which are all perfect. It's when it's miles away and not easy to redeem that it becomes a real pain and waste of time.

I would only ever buy one if I knew the person really well ie. buying a theatre lover a theatre experience.

This thread has reminded me of the time my evil SIL bought DH and I a zorbing experience for Christmas - it was such a pass-ag move as she knew I’d hate it (we didn’t do it in case you’re wondering). It was also about a two hour drive from our home.

I bought her a gorgeous gift basket full of Clinique stuff (I didn’t realise at the time she hated me!) 😂

Oh heck have just remembered that’s one I never did either… the photo shoot…

I’d just rather not have them honestly

I’m with you on this one OP. I don’t think they are great gifts as they can have stipulations which limit their use and are not always straightforward to use. Me and my DH have received them in the past and given up trying to claim them for various reasons. My view is that the organisations issuing them must make a lot of money from people not using them.

I only tend to buy them for DS2 and his gf
as live near London, and they are young and enjoy going into London on weekends. I also know they’ve really enjoyed the experiences i’ve got them - afternoon tea in Mayfair for graduation, indoor sky-diving, cadbury factory when still at uni. I don’t tend to buy for others though as not 100% on how they’d enjoy it. I have bought restaurant vouchers though for close friends at posh restaurant in local city that I know they’d never treat themselves too. But only my friend who I know has enough money to top up if they fancy going a bit over the value. Otherwise can be tricky. As you say, you don’t want the gift to cost them.