Baby can’t nap while siblings are home

[hometohoneys]

I have a 14 month who usually has a morning nap and an afternoon one but while her siblings are off school it’s impossible to get her to sleep, so she is in a constant state of tired/over tired and unhappy, they are constantly up and down to the toilet to retrieve a toy, calling me at the top of their voice or just noisy and she is really tired but each time she goes for a nap she’s woken up immediately.
They wake her up in the morning by bursting into our room early, she’s in the next room but bouncing along the landing and opening our door wakes her every time and even if they stay up a bit later in the holidays she can’t sleep because again they are up and down to the toilet or screech and she’s awake.
There’s only a year difference between the older two but while one of them is considerate and tries to be quiet the other just couldn’t care less.
I really don’t know what to do anymore as she doesn’t sleep in her pushchair anymore and will only nap in her cot.
AIBU to think they could be quiet and let her sleep or are they right not to give a toss and ignore me because it’s not their problem.
They are 8 and 10.

I think at 8 and 10 you need to sit them down and make this a family problem instead of just a you problem, lay out some rules and what will happen if they break them.
Set a visual timer, they go to the toilet and get anything from upstairs before nap time otherwise they don't get it until the timer is up.
I had a baby and a 3.5 year old and even she was able to grasp that her sister needed sleep and sleep time for her sister was quiet time for her. It's about learning to be considerate to those around you.
also get an Alexa for baby's room and play sleep jar white noise, it's loud enough to drown anything out.

PLEASE step up and parent your children!! This is why teachers are having such a hard time maintaining order for long enough to teach! Stop being such a drip 🙄

She usually naps while the children are at school so I’m in the house alone but usually downstairs so it’s naturally quiet for her to settle so it’s a lot different when the children are home.
At weekends I don’t notice so much as we like to get out and about but over the Christmas holidays we’ve been in a lot and it’s been really hard.

Do you do anything with them while the baby naps? Watch a movie, sit down and play with them or do an activity/craft? I probably would’ve baked the cookies WITH them while the baby slept, and no you can’t go upstairs for x,y,z.

So basically I’d first try a high amount of engagement and keeping them busy (mostly geared at the one that’s causing the issues) so they learn that the baby sleeping means fun and extra time with mum.

Then I’d also have some consequences in place if they keep doing it, especially deliberately.

This!! My DS1 was 8 when DS2 was a baby. He would have faced serious consequences for repeatedly being noisy and clearly deliberately disturbing his brother.

And yes, you are going to have to police this. Send them to the toilet before nap time and after that they do not go upstairs. If they screech they lose favourite TV items. Time to get tough.

My parents had this attitude. It didn't teach me to sleep through noise. I have memories from primary school being sent to bed and constantly woken up by household noise and lights from under the door. My mum always complained I was a poor sleeper since I was a baby.

I'm 37 and I need silence and total darkness to sleep. I sleep great.

If your kids can sleep through vacuuming and other noisy kids, it's luck, not a parenting achievement.

Christ OP I was expected 3&4 before you stated their ages.

8 & 10 can categorically have rules and do better than this.

OP you need to teach your children consideration for others, including family members. They need to be quiet whilst the toddler is napping; explain that to them and make sure they are quiet - they need to do what you ask.