Hi, I’ve just come across your post today and read through your updates not the whole thread so I might be way off or missing some info but here’s my take. I also have adhd mines more a very active mind rather than body but I think your obsession with your ex is just a hyper focus because your unhappy.
If you’re like me I can have an encounter and in my head basically make an entire movie of what happens next and I think this is what you’ve done with your ex. In all honesty he sounds like a complete dick and in reality would make you just as miserable but you had a good encounter with him so now you’ve made your ‘movie’ and it’s a happily ever after all your problems solved.
Unfortunately life rarely works out that way but I understand why you would fixate on it when you’re so unhappy. Sometimes we can be a bit much for people but we just have to accept they’re either just not the right people for us or yes we annoy them sometimes but they accept that’s part of us and love us anyway. Hopefully your husband is the latter and we have to accept that their feelings are valid because when you take a step back, yes we are being super annoying and can you honestly say you’ve never found anyone annoying? I have a very hyper adhd child and yes i do sometimes find them VERY annoying lol but i love them more than anything.
Practical side I think you need a new focus as well as trying to rebuild your marriage (if that’s what you want) you said you’re trained in beauty therapy and very active on social media. Could you try and start a home business? I know it’s competitive and it might not start out as a big money maker but you could build your brand up and I’m sure you would make some money. It might not be a lot at first but it’ll be more than the zero you’re getting now and it will help you feel that sense of achievement and give you a nice dopamine hit when you see that money you’ve earnt. People always want lashes and waxing. My lash lady just has a bed in her dining room and she’s always fully booked up the 4 days a week she works every month so you don’t need to spend loads on a big spa room or anything. I came across her randomly on Instagram and that’s the only way she advertises and then it spreads through word of mouth.
If that’s not for you try a beauty counter in boots or something. It’s not exactly your field but it’s still working with things you enjoy and getting that money in your pocket, socialising and giving you a sense of purpose outside the home.
try not to take the in-laws comments to heart. They don’t sound like they’re your people and that’s unfortunate but that’s their problem not yours. You were hyper on Christmas having fun with your children. You weren’t doing anything dangerous and I’m sure your children were having a great time and they’re the most important ones. Anyway I’m rambling now as usual but that’s my take. Good luck 😊