To ask: if you are an occasional cocaine user, are you aware how you appear to others?

[mixandmatch]

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks so am interested in views.

I don't take any drugs myself and drink very little but am not personally that judgemental about those who indulge more than I do. I have a few friends who smoke weed occasionally, and likewise a few who on a 'big night out' will have some coke. I'm often the least drunk person on a big night out and am fine with that: everyone makes different life choices.

But increasingly I find the cocaine use absolutely unbearable and it made me wonder... do people who occasionally use coke realise how boring, selfish, cold and weird it makes them appear to others? For me, it is a whole different ballgame to drunkenness or even other drug-taking: alcohol makes you slur your words a bit and be more emotional/giggly/free of inhibitions, weed makes you a bit dopey, but I just find coke does something absolutely horrific to people. Plus there is the whole 'sneaking off into the bathroom/shared private joke' thing that I just find incredibly rude and excluding to those who aren't involved. If it's so socially acceptable why not just do it off the dining room table, in the same way you'd happily enjoy a glass of wine alongside teetotallers?

I know that occasional coke use isn't uncommon so I'm just curious: if you either do it or once did it, did you realise it made you like this and just not care, or would you have thought I was the boring party pooper?

Oh I’d forgotten Leah Betts. Poor girl. And her family

I’m too old/poor/sensible for all that stuff these days. I used to be a raver and be into all sorts but I think now as a mid 40’s woman it’s not cool. Also the friends I have now barely drink.

“It's not too hard to give up when you have to, according to my previously snow-nosed friends, so doesn't feel like too much of a risk.”

@GarlicSound did you know that drug services are seeing masses of debt riddled cocaine addicts that have lost jobs, homes, families? So much so, that it has made heroin use minimal in comparison.

if only it was that easy to give up.

Never touched it myself but everyone I know who does (work, work nights out, events, social scene) suddenly become extremely outgoing when they are not normally. Some are more annoying than others in that it’s really noticeable ie tripping over themselves to share a massive insight that is definitely not a massive insight 😂

I have noticed some friends on it more while on nights out and I was shocked at how casual they were about it. I have been offered it twice, refused both times. (Been called a boring bitch once for refusing it and decided to give a lecture because I didn't appreciate the name calling). At a friends wedding was shocked to discover 95% of the wedding party was on coke (and many of the guests!) Certainly opened my eyes that evening, ended up going home early as I didn't like my kids being around it and was furious my teenage DD was offered some by an older uncle of the groom. The excuse from the groom was "it was to help them all get through a long day and his uncle thought my 14 year old was older".

I recognise your description in some people but not all. I think it depends on their sober personalty. Same with alcohol actually.

I think cocaine helped cause the beginning of the end of the UK rave scene. It brought in a much darker, angsty vibe, along with politics and attracting gangsters to raves and free parties.

I agree @AnonSugar. The fact that there is a Cocaine Anonymous (CA) itself suggests that it is very addictive and hard to give up.

In my 40s here and I have never seen coke and don't have any friends who would touch it. Get new friends.

Pearls of wisdom

not!

AnonSugar

it’s a massive problem - people start at the weekend - then Thursday eve - then in the day - then in the day at work - then before work - and then tell themselves they aren’t addicted becuase they are still working

I remember in the day in a circle I knew - couple selling it to get money to do their bathroom - she was a social worker and he was a teacher ffs

it’s destructive and re ally bad for your health - look at Westbrook’s nose!

No, I didn't and I'm sorry to hear it. My old friends had comfortable lives and would've been able to access any support they needed, I guess. They're unlikely to have gone into debt over it.

Addictions are harder to shift, I suspect, when users find it very difficult to cope with life. For many, substance-assisted 'escape' can feel more like a need than a want, a promise of joy in an objectively harsh reality. Unfortunately, those are the very same people most vulnerable to debts, crime and abuse stemming from their substance addiction.

I've been through recovery and, in the main, rock bottom for the well-off addicts was a lot higher than for the poor - the very act of pursuing their addiction pushes them even further down. Someone with a lovely lifestyle can be prompted to seek treatment by the prospect of losing their nice house, great job or adorable family. Without those things to lose, a user might just keep chasing the high until they break.

I'm still an addict, mind you. There is no rehab for smoking! And it doesn't even bring joy 😳

@Snowmaidenly, I wish original weed were still available! The only varieties on sale now are bred for effect, and I don't like 'em. They do trigger mental illness. People smoking them are just as weird and boring as users of other drugs (sorry, everyone). Production is largely run by criminals using slave labour.

I never expected to be nostalgic for the Himalayan flowers of my long-ago youth, smuggled by hippies in clapped-out vans. If there's even any of it left up there, you'd have to drive your van through several active war zones to get it!

@GarlicSound Try Amsterdam, or look into getting the legal private prescription weed that some of my friends have - you can choose much more readily there.

But yes, strangely enough super strength skunk isn't terribly enjoyable.
Maybe, in the same way as "mid strength" alcohol (aka the strength it all used to be before industry decided stronger was better), there'll be a resurgence in older, milder and IMO better strains.

Everyone I knew in my late 20’s-40’s who did coke, did coke because they couldn’t handle a lot of alcohol. And I agree, it generally turns people into arseholes.

Are you sure it's coke they're taking? Just that 'boring, selfish, cold' aren't traits you'd commonly associate with coke, which people usually take to appear more chatty, confident, fun-loving.

I don't have any coke users in my circle (I don't think) but IMO you're underplaying how annoying most drunk people are.

When I was younger I was a complete party animal and a bit of a nightmare. Probably like one of the people you’re talking about. But everyone in our circle was doing it. Usually at house parties after clubs. But after a while I woke up and moved away from the lifestyle. I could never imagine hanging out with people doing drugs if I wasn’t in the zone with them. I don’t mean that judgementally—I was THE party girl! But for your situation they aren’t your tribe. Although I am middle aged now and only go out once every 6 months! So appreciate it could be easier said than done. I’d avoid partying with them and if they only want to hang out to “party “ then maybe slowly meet a new crowd.

I make my feelings on it very clear. Don't come bitching about "county lines" and then do a line at the weekend. I don't care how often someone might take it, they're directly contributing to a "business" that represents the absolute worst of human nature. And they're showing themselves to be no better than all of those involved in the trade.

I used to take it sometimes in my 20s. I had no concept of the awful things that had happened in order to get that coke to me.

Whenever I took it I loved it, but found myself incredibly aware of trying to hide the effects of it from people I know hadn't had any. I was very conscious of being overly chatty and enthusiastic, and also it made me 'gurn' a lot - chewing my tongue, moving my jaw a lot.

It's all well and good taking the moral high ground, but it is a very addictive drug. Lots of people can easily get hooked on it. I'm fortunate the one time I was going to try it, the drug dealer wasn't there. I did try ecstasy 2 or 3 times which was quite fun, but glad I came to my senses and haven't touched it for about 20 years.

I go to a lot of gigs and find that crowds now are full of coked up dickheads talking loudly thought the whole thing and then turning aggressive when called out. Yes drunks can be a problem too but coke has brought out a horrible side to people.

we were talking here briefly about it last week. I don’t know anyone who has taken it, I’m mid 50s and no drugs in any shape or form were present in the friendship group I had, most we did was a few drinks on a night out.

One thing I did realise here when we talked about it, I’ve never actually ever seen coke for real, only on TV.

Perhaps I’ve led a sheltered life and that’s fine with me.

I think if you’re boring then you’re boring. Irrespective of substances.

I was at a pub last week and there was a family at a wake. There was a group of people outside, completely off their tits. One of them in particular was talking so loud, about his ‘fucking grandma’ how great his ‘fucking grandma’ was ‘fucking legend’ etc I’m not offended by bad language but he was the most obnoxious and intrusive idiot I’ve seen in a long time.

His grandma was clearly a lovely person, I imagine she’d have been mortified by his behaviour.

His dad came out, crying and coke head just carried on shouting - totally oblivious.