To ask: if you are an occasional cocaine user, are you aware how you appear to others?

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I've been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks so am interested in views.

I don't take any drugs myself and drink very little but am not personally that judgemental about those who indulge more than I do. I have a few friends who smoke weed occasionally, and likewise a few who on a 'big night out' will have some coke. I'm often the least drunk person on a big night out and am fine with that: everyone makes different life choices.

But increasingly I find the cocaine use absolutely unbearable and it made me wonder... do people who occasionally use coke realise how boring, selfish, cold and weird it makes them appear to others? For me, it is a whole different ballgame to drunkenness or even other drug-taking: alcohol makes you slur your words a bit and be more emotional/giggly/free of inhibitions, weed makes you a bit dopey, but I just find coke does something absolutely horrific to people. Plus there is the whole 'sneaking off into the bathroom/shared private joke' thing that I just find incredibly rude and excluding to those who aren't involved. If it's so socially acceptable why not just do it off the dining room table, in the same way you'd happily enjoy a glass of wine alongside teetotallers?

I know that occasional coke use isn't uncommon so I'm just curious: if you either do it or once did it, did you realise it made you like this and just not care, or would you have thought I was the boring party pooper?

Same with my ex. He was actually an alcoholic as well and more and more time was spent either drunk or on coke and he was an awful person on both. But there was an additional detached, cruel edge on the coke.

Never tried it. Way, way too scared after the 80s Sweet Valley High book I read aged 13 where a goody two shoes character tried coke once under peer pressure, and died of a massive heart attack. After that, I was never tempted.

I don't smoke or drink but only because I don't like either (have tried both).

Never even been offered drugs but could have tried them given where I was brought up in London. Just, never been interested. I went to numerous parties hosted by my ex in the 90s, where they all did coke and weed, and I walked out. Their behaviour was so obnoxious and gross.

Same age and same here.

In my younger days I took Ecstasy when clubbing but always thought of coke as the next step up, and something that had the potential to absolutely wreck your body. I’m always amazed now when I read how widespread coke is.

@NeverDropYourMooncup This! I also play in a band and the cocaine audiences are the WORST. One particular occasion there was an open kitchen sushi chef at a party who ended up having to pack up his knives and leave because a cocaine-fuelled fight broke out. Awful people

I don't care how it makes people act. I do care about the countless lives ruined through gangs and county lines so twats can get high.

I agree with you. I have tried it in my younger wilder days but didn’t enjoy it so never touched since. However I do know a large number of people who take it recreationally and not only do they know how they become on it, that’s part of the fun for them. They enjoy it, being kind of f arseholes.

These are people who in normal everyday life are kind, caring, decent people and it’s such a contrast to see them in that way. I tend to avoid being with them if I know they’ll be doing coke if I can.

I used to work in a high end club in my late teens which was renowned for coke users. You could spot them a mile off by their stuck up arrogance and gurn.

Many of my uni friends experimented with drugs and as far as I’m aware, most grew out of it. One ended up continuing and last I heard, despite having a good career, took up prostitution on the side to pay for her habit.

Never socialised in circles where it’s used. Find it sinister. An ex used it occasionally he wound become very energised and waffled on. Note ex!

I know what you mean. But your OP put me in mind of the opposite! Having transitioned from a London media lifestyle to the depths of rural boredom, I sometimes come across people with preternaturally sparkling eyes, animated faces and earnestly voluble nonsense. "High", I think, squinting to observe their dilated pupils.

It's quite funny, except that two of these people were health consultants with whom I never got anywhere, since they were only interested in being interesting 😖

Never tried it.

I can't stand the thick aggressive drug dealers who live near me. Identifiable by their white range rovers and cctv cameras and scowling faces. Recruiting young lads to do their dirty work, carrying machetes in case they have any bother.

Can't bear idiots who think it's all a giggle and a step up from doing shots.

Not what you asked OP but I'm pleased I got that off my chest!

Completely agree. This has always been my observation.

In my experience, people on Coke think they are incredibly witty and interesting (they are often lacking in that department)

Sadly, the cocaine makes them even more boring and tedious to be around.

My experience is that those who use it lack the self confidence or self esteem to socialise just “being themselves” which is really pitiful.

In terms of the industry that Coke users support, it’s much, much worse.

Mine was an alcoholic also. Still is. I totally know what you mean. Ex was always on alcohol as he was physically dependent, and his behaviour during active addiction was often vile, but Coke just stood out as he had such an edge on it. I could always tell when he had done coke - he had a particular look/ facial expression on it. I absolutely hated it.

I don't remember that one! I loved those books but I don't remember that at all. My big 'scare' was Leah Betts, I resolved not to do any drugs apart from the odd joint. I did have a friend who was into the rave scene and she often really pressured me into speed but I didn't find it hard to refuse, I just kept saying no. I don't think I've ever actually been offered cocaine that I can remember, apart from the ex boyfriend. I think the thing that bothered me about the cocaine on supporters buses, apart from them becoming insufferable dickheads, was that any discretion went out the window, which speaks to the arrogance of many users. They were just passing it about the bus, and on one occasion - which was one of my breaking points - taking it openly in front of children. Trying to raise it as an issue was like talking to a brick wall. They were all doing it, so none of them saw an issue with it.

Leaving aside the moral dimension, I've never met a single person whose personality was improved by cocaine usage.

I rarely use coke, but loads of my friends do, and I don't find them unbearable, selfish and...I forgot what other word you use.
As for being weird, yes they are, but it's a good thing, and they're as weird sober than high.

I’ve tried it a couple of times but years ago.

a friend of mine is a regular user and it’s turns her into a loud, boorish, arrogant, self absorbed individual.

I took it a bit, decades ago. I expect they just don't care to know how you see them and are just happily having a good time. Have you ever told them they're borish whilst on it? They probably don't know

I don't even drink these days and find it really hard work to be around anyone who is under the influence of anything. My social circle is thankfully small these days so I've not been around anyone on drugs for years, but drunk people...! So fucking boring

Oh, mate. I've been accidentally really rude plenty of times for multiple reasons, none of them illegal!

I wonder if the fact that you neither drink nor snort leads you to confuse the effects of the two? Alcohol also makes people repetitive, self-absorbed and impulsive. Unlike cocaine, alcohol confers a 'dead-eyed' look. Partygoers often use coke so they can drink more (depressant + stimulant). You're probably looking at the combined effects of both.

I’m a very, very, very occasional cocaine user - maybe once every 2 years nowadays - but only with a small group of best friends who are also taking it. I don’t even like doing it in a nightclub. I can’t imagine doing it in a social situation where some people aren’t doing it - how weird, surely they would be paranoid that everyone is thinking exactly what OP is?

I had a smallish bump once after being offered it. I didn't notice much at the time apart from a small energy increase. I drank like I usually would (drinking until I felt I had enough) and went back to a shared house after. Woke up at silly o clock very disoriented and no clue where I was. Very frightening. Woke up again at 8 and got a taxi home to partner who told me coke can make you handle your drink better in the short term which can make you drink way more than usual.

My sis who I was out with said I talked loads after the bump and was very tedious.

Bad experience overall and haven't touched since.

I have and continue to at times spend time socially around drug users, I have also used some drugs myself (not recently). My observation, is that there is a ‘type’ of person who uses cocaine, they tend to start with heightened confidence and the cocaine amplifies this to the point that this presents as arrogance. They talk about absolute shite and think they’re the most interesting person in the room. That feeling is great and people have a cracking time, but a couple have become reliant on it.

So no, you’re not being unreasonable but the cocaine users I know wouldn’t care.

Yeah being around people on coke when you're not can be very boring. It's kind of how most people probably got into it. If you can't beat em, join em. I'll be bored socializing with them unless I do it.

I used to use it but not anymore. If someone offered me a line it'd be 50/50 if I'd accept. Last couple times I did it wasn't great.

You just need to not hang about with those people much. As it's true you could end up succumbing to it just to be on their level.

This is probably the main reason I stopped having anything to do with people who use cocaine. It makes people unbearable. Its the fact they cant tell how boring and repetitive they are which is the real killer.

I increasingly find the same thing with drunks though now. I used to be able to tolerate them. I now find them crass, boorish and oafish and want to keep them away from me.