Tv in the room of a 5YO

[13MAPARTHELL]

For context, this is me at my final straw.

My child has ASD (PDA) & we have tried, consistently MANY things to help with night times, but every night for around 2 years now it takes around 3 - 4 hours to get him to sleep. Me and dad are pretty depressed, our relationship wont survive our situation, there is simply not enough time in the day where as everything you need to do is done in the evening, we do not have that option.

He is just very unregulated & if he senses annoyance of any kind, or no annoyance he will continue to push as much as he can, if we simply tell him no and ignore him…. Well, it just gets worse and nothing ever sticks he does not understand cause and effect.

im considering a small dvd only tv in his room, just to play something like kipper? Or other relaxed shows with reduced brightness etc, as that will MAYBE distract him and calm him - on a timer?

If it takes 3-4 hours to go to bed what time are you starting and what time is he going to sleep? Maybe you are putting him to bed too early.

Have you sought medical advice and melatonin?

Yes and they refused to assist with this, so we got our own from family in america - and it did help us, but they dont come down anymore, fuming! 😂

7:30!! Sometimes 8 😭😭😭😭

theres been times with been consistent and brought jt forward, at one point i was doing after school club to see if it tired him out, the boys nuts man 😭

There are online pharmacies you can buy from although I would recommend going back and insisting on seeing CAMHS or a paediatric sleep consultant.

Children with SEN often struggle to sleep and melatonin is often a game changer for them. Whilst a TV might give your child a distraction, it won’t give them more sleep and they really do need that even if their bodies don’t want to cooperate or agree.

Well it’s worth a try OP if you think it would help. My kids wouldn’t fall asleep with the TV on I don’t think but they’re all different and you know your child and his particular issues best. If it buys you some time on an evening then it’s well worth it IMO. My middle child is really difficult to know how to deal with and I’m exhausted by her bedtime, if I didn’t have the evening to myself well I can only imagine how hard that must be.

As pp says seek medical advice too, throw everything you can think of at it - hope you’ve get it sorted OP.

No I wouldn’t start this (and I’m pro screens).
The light from the screens messes up sleep patterns and I think you’ll struggle even more.

I would start off with audiobooks if he needs the noise.

The bedroom needs to be a space where his body feels tired - screens are the worst for this.

What is the issue with him going to bed?
Is it that he doesn’t want to be left alone?
How do you finally get him to sleep?

Ah i know your right

no he just literally dosnt stop, wont stop talking, jumping, i cant even read him books because he cant focus or listen etc its hell

A Tonie with sleep timers and expectation setting helped with my ND child. We've moved on to audible and a sleep timer, ten minutes tops following a standard routine. Don't do a screen. I know you're at breaking point but it won't make anything better.

If melatonin helps, speak to a different doctor. Luckily our GP prescribed it off licence and it’s been a life saver. You can also buy it in European pharmacies, although I’ve never found gummies and only up to 1.9mg.

I really wouldn’t recommend a TV in the bedroom but I understand the temptation.

Also look at sensory deep pressure, pre sleep stuff.

Have you seen a psychiatrist or psychologist or hospital consultant who can prescribe melatonin for sleeping?
DD had a portable dvd player at that age for 30 minutes before story time, it was easier to remove it. Set the rules up.
Sadly with a child who suffers from these issues there is very little downtime for parents.
Try getting a prescription and seeing if it makes a difference.

We got adult and kids melatonin gummies from piping rock. They also do other vitamins and supplements too.

Have you tried a yoto player? Its helped massively with DS age 7. We can't get a diagnosis, but I am positive he has ADHD. Nursery agreed and so does school, but we can't even get him added to the waiting list for CAHMS, and I don't really know what to do with that.

But yes, yoto, no screens as the light from then messes with your brain, but the yoto is audio books and its helped so much. You can even record your own voice reading books if he enjoys that

That sounds like ADHD.
Its very common to have ADHD and ASD.

My DD is ADHD and never slept so I used to put on audiobooks and she’d have books to read and a torch and a couple toys to play with.

She didn’t sleep much but she doesn’t have PDA and so I told her it’s bedtime and she only comes out for the toilet or if she’s feeling poorly etc.

Most of the time she stayed awake but was good to pretend to be sleeping lol.

If I put a tv in there she would have never slept.

She would only sleep on the floor though.

What would happen if you put him to bed and came downstairs?

Melatonin is a game changer. I never used it as I didn’t want to ‘drug’ my child but I wouldn’t think twice now I’ve seen how much it improves things.

My DS won’t sleep, he acts like he is being electrocuted repeatedly with sensory ticks. With the melatonin he relaxes and sleeping by 9pm without it, he can stay awake all night jerking but usually around 1/2am without it.
He cannot wake up properly for school so it starts more drama in the morning. It’s very bad for the moods.

You say he doesn't focus when you read, but honestly, my son is constantly on the go and doesn't look like he's listening, but he really is.

It's like he has a need for stimulation, so his brain needs the sensory feedback from doing something physical to allow his mind to focus. What about giving audio books on a tablet or a phone, without the screen being active, and see if helps?

Also, have you tried magnesium? I'm not sure if that actually helps, but DS seems better since taking a supplement. You can get gummies from amazon.

Best of luck, its really hard

Yanbu

my dd is 6 and autistic. We are very lucky that she’s quite mellow, but she is a TERRIBLE sleeper

I used to put her down to bed at about 7 or 8 and it would take at least two hours for her to drop off. She would babble, roll around, giggle, try to get up

she just wouldn’t sleep. And I tried perservering but it didn’t change. I would sit, for two hours, in the dark, listening to the radio on low

eventually, I’d done my two hours, she dropped off and I got up to go to bed - she walked past me to my bed 😅😅😅😅. I gave up

now, she sleeps with me!!!

She has book and cuddles and then is put down while I have the soaps on low, and use my phone. She falls asleep quicker and if she doesnt, I can at least be entertained 🙄🙄

do it, life is too short for judgement, you need to sleep!

Yes so this was even noted in his assessment but hes too young sadly

im 100% going down the melatonin route!

also, my 3 year old has severe eczema and is on sedation meds which dont do shit, ive just read lots of studies about melatonin and his type of eczema apparently hundreds of kids tested had much lower levels of the drug. This child I am posting about has nothing on my eczema child, he cannot go into REM sleep at all

You need to make bedtime later and fill the 2/3 hours you're currently spend on bedtime doing physical intentional sensory activity. I'm speaking from experience.

My son wasn't sleeping until 10/11pm and after an hour trying to get him to sleep would get aggressive. We had input from neurology for seizures and neuropsychology for development and still losing our minds. On a call to neuropsychology I said I felt like I needed to accept the later sleep time because the prolonged bedtime was hell and she asked what was stopping me and the answer was the expectation of a sensible bedtime. So that night instead of up to the bath at 7.30, I put our trainers on, out my then toddler in the pram in her pyjamas and we walked the dog in the dark for an hour. When we got home toddler was asleep and popped into bed, eldest went straight into the bath and into bed and was still asleep at 10 but happily. Not aggressively.

We signed up for a local trampoline place and when weather was too bad to walk we went there and bounced for an hour.

And screens, to help him stay in bed we did use a tablet with brightness on lowest setting because it calmed him and didn't make sleep time later but I hated it to be honest. We got a yoto player and it was a game changer (he wouldn't let us read then. He'd try to take the book and kick off) so we ended up in a position whre he'd lie in bed listening to stories while I cuddled him.

Around 6 we were finally given melatonin and now he's asleep for 9 on a school night, he's 7 and happy to be read to until he falls asleep. But he only get melatonin 5 days a week to stop him building a tolerance. The other 2 nights we do allow 'movie nights' where he can fall asleep to a gentle video on his tablets ame as before and again settles him, means he knows he only gets movie nights if he cooperates with his medicine ons school nights. It's saved our lives.

However even before melatonin the extra exercise made a huge difference.

I haven't said anything offensive, I don't think, no idea what had set HQ off to review, but best of luck!!

Melatonin is a game changer. I never used it as I didn’t want to ‘drug’ my child but I wouldn’t think twice now I’ve seen how much it improves things.

Shocking judgemental, so you think it’s better to completely deregulate a child who suffers, impacting their body, mind, health from sleep deprivation while causing parents to have a breakdown, sleep deprivation impacts diet, concentration and anxiety.
Would you feel the same about antibiotics? Medication is monitored and administered by a consultant, it’s hardly street corner stuff and avoiding it for a stigma is detrimental to the already anxious child’s wellbeing.

I feel you! We are going to get these for both mids birthdays actually and just see if they help at all! Especially with PDA it gives him choice with the characters at least, even jf he does throw it at my head 😂

we went private, mind you I had to work 9-3 get kids, and then 7pm till 3am to pay for it on overtime hours working from home, it was hell

and getting any actual support is the battle that is slowly killing me i tell you!

My eldest has melatonin on prescripton now but prior to that we got it from piping rock.

Id just say whatever works.. my only concern would be a screen may actually make it worse and would be difficult to then remove. Mine has audiobooks which helps her be occupied enough to stay in her room. Good luck.

My DS was prescribed melatonin at 2 years old, he could stay wake screaming with frustration all night , never slept over 30 minutes, even as a tiny baby.