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to think that this is a tad insensitive

32 replies

Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 21:55

right am having a really tough time financially, really tough. Mortgage has just shot up by £250, problems remortgaging, the stress is impacting my mood, my relationship and quite honestly I'm feeling really really shit. So best mate rings me tonight, we have a very open friendship i tell her my financial crap, not because I wnt to go into the details of my finances but becuase of how it is making me feel. Her response is to tell me about the £800 dining suite she has just bought. I don't mean ten minutes later, or even two, it was a direct response. Quite honestly i'm rather annoyed I'm pouring my guts out and that is her response! Please tell me i'm entitled to feel a little bit irked, i don't begrudge anyone anything in life, I'm frankly pleased she is doing well but as a friend I want her to be just a little more sympathetic.

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littlelapin · 11/06/2008 21:57

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KaySamuels · 11/06/2008 21:58

YANBU, did she offer sympathy? Advice? Ask if there was anything she could help you with?

I would say she was more than a tad insensitive.

Sorry abut your money woes, am in similar situation and it sucks.

Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 21:58

you are probably right lapin, she just waited for me to stop harping on!!

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SlartyBartFast · 11/06/2008 21:59

unbelievable. footin mouthmoment there

KerryMum · 11/06/2008 21:59

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Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 22:00

no not sympathy or advice, she is very financially obsessed, we are different in that respect, every conversation somewhere has some reference to her earnings. i'm not normally so bothered as I'm not normally whinging about my woes but today i just wanted her to listen

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charliecat · 11/06/2008 22:01

she probably put it on a credit card.

BoyzntheShire · 11/06/2008 22:01

you are supposed to be best mates, no?
so you share stuff, no? all of it, good and bad?
she listened didnt she?
i think yabu.
best friends are not supposed to be on eggshells round each other.

KerryMum · 11/06/2008 22:03

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Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 22:03

just wanted to say am not slating her for being driven by money, thats up to her, I really really felt needy and like I needed some reassurance, and what i got was a kipper in theface!!

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BoyzntheShire · 11/06/2008 22:03

'she is v finacially obsessed...every conversation somewhere has some reference to her earnings'
so if shes such a shallow and uncaring cow why is she your best friend?

Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 22:07

I didn't realise being financially obsessed equalled being shallow and uncaring, they are not mutually exclusive but on this ocassion i felt let down by her response.

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Amphibimum · 11/06/2008 22:15

sorry quad, i over stated it.
sorry you felt let down.
im sure (i hope) that as your bf, she had no intention to let you down in this way.
i really think you should say this to her... i bet shed be horrified to think shed hurt your feelings.
(sorry again for being blunt)

Amphibimum · 11/06/2008 22:16

(oh, sorry, am boyz)

NotABanana · 11/06/2008 22:17


Reminds me of the woman who talked about abortions just after I had told her I had had a miscarriage very recently.

Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 22:18

I really don't think her intention was to upset me, course it wasn't, but i felt it was maybe an inconsiderate response and fresh from feeling generally rather crap I thought I'd mention it here!!

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Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 22:19

and you really don't need to apologise am being indulgent and moany

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SlartyBartFast · 11/06/2008 22:20

is she normally tactless?

Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 22:20

aww notabanana some people are very crap and that definately falls into that category

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Amphibimum · 11/06/2008 22:21

who me? yep!

Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 22:22

hmm slartybartfast she probably is, I'm usually thicker skinned!!

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Amphibimum · 11/06/2008 22:23

but an abortion is a horrible experience too. oh blimey, difficult.
i wouldnt have done that, but to my mind they are similar experiences. (sorry if feelings hurt)

Love2bake · 11/06/2008 22:25

YANBU - Your friend sounds very self-obsorbed.

somersetmum · 11/06/2008 22:28

She probably bought it on tick, on one of those deals that are all over the tv at the moment - you know the ones, where you only have to pay about £20 a month for the next million years.
So, she earns more than you, but her lifestyle expectations are a lot higher too, so she's probably no better off than you, struggling to pay her humungous mortgage too.

Quadrophenia · 11/06/2008 22:34

I don't resent her buying a dining suite, its fine just bleeding well don't tell me straight after i tell you I'm scared my life is about to fall apart - was telling her I didn't think my relationship would survive the added pressure- maybe she didn't know how to respond!

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