Page 9 | To think my DD should go to Edinburgh Uni instead of Kent?

Girlypops154 · 2026-01-01T17:44:00+00:00

My DD has been accepted to Edinburgh to study Astrophysics and she has also been accepted to Kent University. We live outside of London and she says wants to be closer to home but I say she should go to Scotland because it’s a better university (she has also been accepted to St Andrews but we prefer Edinburgh). We are in a blessed position that we can afford the extra year up there. How do I get to change her mind as she has her mind now set on Kent but I really think going to an RG would be far better. She’s now getting annoyed at me because I keep insisting on Edinburgh. She has also been accepted to Durham and Aberystwyth but neither of them have got back to us yet. Any advice or am I being unreasonable? Thank you.

BoredZelda · 02/01/2026 13:53

Franpie · 02/01/2026 13:35

Yes. These are not insignificant sums we are talking about. I will only pay for things that I think they will thrive at and will enhance their future.

For example… would I pay for a law degree at an ex-poly knowing that law firms are very sniffy when it comes to both universities and degree classifications and my child has an offer from a top law school? No I wouldn’t. It would be money down the drain.

Another example… would I pay for them to do an overpriced volunteerism gap year? No, I think they are immoral scams. I would pay for them to do a proper gap year travelling the world and picking up odd jobs here and there.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not blindly pay for every whim and fancy when we are talking about 10’s of thousands of pounds. It needs to be an investment in their future.

It is getting harder and harder for graduates to get graduate jobs. Turning down an excellent course in favour of an inferior one is just madness in this day and age.

They don’t have to do what I would like them to do but I do have to believe their choice is the right one if I’m going to financially support it.

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Look forward to them choosing your nursing home. That’s assuming they are still talking to you by that point!

I believe as a parent we guide our children and let them make their decisions. I’m either willing to pay towards their education or I’m not. Particularly in a system where the funding models means there is absolutely no need to fork out up front for an entire degree in the U.K. I have saved for my daughter’s education and she will benefit from that money no matter how she chooses to spend it. After that, it is up to her to make the best of whatever the outcome is. She is choosing not to go to the “top” university because it does not suit her. She might, yet, decide not to go to uni at all and maybe start a business. The money is hers to invest in her future. The ways I might think her future is “enhanced” may not be what she is looking for in life. I can’t imagine a world where I put restrictions on what she chooses for her own future.

I had to make choices which suited my parents when it came to tertiary education. I’m 51 now and although my life is good, I do still hold resentment about it. I’m not living the life I thought I would because their own poor decisions left me with little choice over my own future.

titchy · 02/01/2026 13:55

BoredZelda · 02/01/2026 13:41

University of Edinburgh scores lowest in almost every metric except research which has very little impact on undergraduate studies other than arguably better facilities which research money pays for.

It scores quite well in employability but this is not because employers favour it. The vast majority of employers in the vast majority of sectors do not care where your degree comes from. The reason Edinburgh scores more highly is largely down to the socio-economic status of the majority of its students. These are people with a degree of privilege and opportunity which is already an advantage for them in securing employment. They also have a very high proportion of overseas students. The sheer cost of that education means someone who is moving there to study is already more motivated to find employment when they leave. Not least because they often wish to stay in the U.K. and can’t do that without a job.

UoE trades on its reputation. The reality for students, particularly if they aren’t upper/middle class is very different. The largest proportion of their capital spend goes on buildings which can attract research and development. Their sports facilities (something they claim to see as important) are woefully inadequate and for almost a decade their board has refused to agree to invest in a new facility. They overspent on one of their research buildings to the tune of £50m, that could have build the new sports facility twice over. They spend very little on upgrading student accommodation or existing teaching buildings and have only just made their main union building accessible to all. Their estates maintenance and repair budgets are woefully inadequate.

Their failure to students goes way beyond “pastoral issues” it is a cultural decision within the UoE upper management. If they can attract students but spend very little on them, they will do it.

Smaller Unis have to try harder to attract students. This is why they tend to score better for student satisfaction. My daughter really wanted to study at Edinburgh, so I told her to do some proper research. She is opting for Dundee now as it is a much better fit for her.

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Dundee - bankrupt Dundee? Years of financial irregularities Dundee? Only functioning because of a Gov bailout Dundee? Okaaaaayyyyy….

BoredZelda · 02/01/2026 14:03

Flickaflock · 02/01/2026 13:52

That isn’t true. All universities are in difficult financial positions, but Kent is clearly far worse off than many.

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This is absolutely true for UoE. £140m cuts in the next two years. Large numbers of redundancies coming, teaching programmes cut and scaled back, a freeze on capital spending. A lot what is happening internally has been kept out of the press but it is a financial shitshow at the moment.

Franpie · 02/01/2026 14:04

BoredZelda · 02/01/2026 13:53

Look forward to them choosing your nursing home. That’s assuming they are still talking to you by that point!

I believe as a parent we guide our children and let them make their decisions. I’m either willing to pay towards their education or I’m not. Particularly in a system where the funding models means there is absolutely no need to fork out up front for an entire degree in the U.K. I have saved for my daughter’s education and she will benefit from that money no matter how she chooses to spend it. After that, it is up to her to make the best of whatever the outcome is. She is choosing not to go to the “top” university because it does not suit her. She might, yet, decide not to go to uni at all and maybe start a business. The money is hers to invest in her future. The ways I might think her future is “enhanced” may not be what she is looking for in life. I can’t imagine a world where I put restrictions on what she chooses for her own future.

I had to make choices which suited my parents when it came to tertiary education. I’m 51 now and although my life is good, I do still hold resentment about it. I’m not living the life I thought I would because their own poor decisions left me with little choice over my own future.

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As a 51 year old, life was very different for graduates when you graduated.

Everyone and their dog has a degree these days, most with huge amounts of student debt. Getting any old degree from any old university is a waste of money.

Ginnnny · 02/01/2026 14:06

I live in Edinburgh (and actually work at Edinburgh Uni!), so probably biased that Edinburgh would be amazing for her BUT, it’s her experience and you shouldn’t be forcing her hand

BoredZelda · 02/01/2026 14:13

titchy · 02/01/2026 13:55

Dundee - bankrupt Dundee? Years of financial irregularities Dundee? Only functioning because of a Gov bailout Dundee? Okaaaaayyyyy….

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Yep. Because they are a centre of excellence for the course she has chosen with them. Their disability services are way better than UoE, and she can live on campus, two minutes from where she will study, with every amenity she needs in an ten minute radius. Nothing that is happening right now will mean she can’t get her degree and have a good time doing it.

Frankly, the Government should bail out a whole load of Universities in Scotland since their big selling point of “free tuition” has led to funding for Scottish students falling by almost a 3rd in real terms and the only way they can survive is by attracting research and overseas students. Universities like Dundee, HIE, and others not in the Central belt or such as St Andrews can’t do that. If you think the other universities don’t have similar “financial irregularities” or aren’t close to bankruptcy, I have a bridge to sell you.

BoredZelda · 02/01/2026 14:14

Franpie · 02/01/2026 14:04

As a 51 year old, life was very different for graduates when you graduated.

Everyone and their dog has a degree these days, most with huge amounts of student debt. Getting any old degree from any old university is a waste of money.

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My age makes no difference. I had to find a way to make my life work, without being able to make my own choices, within the structures that existed at the time. Your kids will have to do the same and you making decisions for them does not mean they will succeed in the way they want to.

titchy · 02/01/2026 14:18

BoredZelda · 02/01/2026 14:13

Yep. Because they are a centre of excellence for the course she has chosen with them. Their disability services are way better than UoE, and she can live on campus, two minutes from where she will study, with every amenity she needs in an ten minute radius. Nothing that is happening right now will mean she can’t get her degree and have a good time doing it.

Frankly, the Government should bail out a whole load of Universities in Scotland since their big selling point of “free tuition” has led to funding for Scottish students falling by almost a 3rd in real terms and the only way they can survive is by attracting research and overseas students. Universities like Dundee, HIE, and others not in the Central belt or such as St Andrews can’t do that. If you think the other universities don’t have similar “financial irregularities” or aren’t close to bankruptcy, I have a bridge to sell you.

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England is no different - fees have shrunk by almost half in real terms.

Given your dc’s disabilities I can quite understand her choice btw - I also can’t see Scot Gov allowing Dundee to fail (UK Gov quite happy to see an English uni fail though btw), but while there is a long tail of poorly managed unis with financial difficulties and/or irregularities - Dundee was very much towards the end of that tail. To not acknowledge that is naive.

SlenderRations · 02/01/2026 14:18

It would be very very odd to choose Kent over Edinburgh (or Durham/St A). Is she worried about making the grades? Eg AstarAstarA at Durham compared to ABB at Kent? Although, putting Kent as her insurance could cover that.

you need to really talk to her about how she perceives these various options. Has she visited? And looked at the relative standing of the institutions? Remember that there isn’t a huge rush to make the decision either. And ignore all the “butt out pushy mother” comments - you are right to want to help your teenager make the right decision for them.

OhDear111 · 02/01/2026 14:19

@BoredZelda No. Not true. Many graduates do not benefit financially from the money they spend. Not the loans or the parent money. They might have a great time and learn stuff, but don’t necessarily get any financial advantage over dc who just go to work at 18. IFS did research on this and not all degrees confer any enhanced future at all. I’m one for not throwing it away on a teen with no experience of life and finance.

Fry12 · 02/01/2026 14:21

I think it’s about balance. At 18, they’re teenagers still and do need some form of guidance. If it was free then I’d probably say go ahead and let her choose but in a world where almost everyone has degrees, getting a graduate job is hard, the amount of money it costs, where you attend has to be considered.

I think if parents are funding education, they do get an opinion. Maybe not the deciding vote but they should be able to say that one university might be a better choice over another.

xanthomelana · 02/01/2026 14:24

Franpie · 02/01/2026 12:17

Going against the grain here slightly but I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

I pay for my kids education and every single one of their living expenses. I therefore have quite a large say in their GCSE choices, their A-level choices, the university and their degree.

Once they are fully independent, they can do as they please, but whilst they are living off me and I’m paying their tuition fees, I have the deciding vote.

There is no way my kids would be going to Kent with offers from significantly better universities. The option would be off the table as far as I’m concerned.

It’s going to come as a huge shock to you when your kids cut you off when they become independent.

MimiGC · 02/01/2026 14:27

HundredMilesAnHour · 02/01/2026 12:19

her only complaint about the campus is a 50 minute walk into town

@Sixgeese 50 mins???! What is she doing, hopping backwards?!! It’s approx 1.5 miles. How can she take 50 mins? It used to take me 20-25 mins downhill right into the very centre, obviously a bit longer coming back since it’s uphill part of the way.

Exactly.
I know the Kent campus well. It’s very quick on the bus and no way 50 mins walking into town, that’s crazy. The buses are very frequent and full of students with or without shopping bags. It’s seems a strange choice to lug your shopping up the hill when a bus will be along in about 5 mins. Also many students do an online shop and get it delivered from the supermarket right to their accommodation.

OhDear111 · 02/01/2026 14:40

@xanthomelana if they become independent! Many of course don’t. They go back home and they don’t get jobs. No one is that black and white over university and sensible dc actually know Durham or Edinburgh trumps Kent. My dc listened to me and we are all very happy! However they weren’t looking at a uni in the 40s as better than top 10!

Itwasallyellow2 · 02/01/2026 15:46

I am quite shocked at the level of involvement some parents have in their adult son or daughter’s higher education. This might contribute to the high level of mental health and wellbeing issues students experience during university and their concern at leaving or failing even though they are desperately unhappy. And there’s me telling my students they have a choice as to whether they stay, leave, try another university or another programme elsewhere….clearly they might not feel they have a choice!

Eepers · 02/01/2026 16:01

In my situation we are from London, DC got into imperial for physics. They wanted to go somewhere else outside of London (I believe Leeds) for the "social life". We said no, it's perfectly normal to have a say in your child's uni destination

MimiGC · 02/01/2026 16:02

OP - has your daughter visited Canterbury, Edinburgh and the other possible places? If not, I would strongly recommend it, as actually seeing the university and the cities can make all the difference. I know it’s expensive and time consuming, but it really is worth the investment.

OhDear111 · 02/01/2026 16:22

@Itwasallyellow2 The higher ranking the uni, the fewer the leavers. See the attached. Mainly I suspect because those going to these universities actually thrive there and like them.

To think my DD should go to Edinburgh Uni instead of Kent?

Eepers · 02/01/2026 16:29

OhDear111 · 02/01/2026 16:22

@Itwasallyellow2 The higher ranking the uni, the fewer the leavers. See the attached. Mainly I suspect because those going to these universities actually thrive there and like them.

I'm on your side btw. I did similar and my dc thrived

dynamiccactus · 02/01/2026 16:34

Edinburgh is a great place, I'd go there.

But Canterbury is a lovely city too and people on here who are sneering at "Kent university" are badly informed.

dynamiccactus · 02/01/2026 16:36

Fry12 · 02/01/2026 14:21

I think it’s about balance. At 18, they’re teenagers still and do need some form of guidance. If it was free then I’d probably say go ahead and let her choose but in a world where almost everyone has degrees, getting a graduate job is hard, the amount of money it costs, where you attend has to be considered.

I think if parents are funding education, they do get an opinion. Maybe not the deciding vote but they should be able to say that one university might be a better choice over another.

Yes you can definitely express an opinion. However, when it comes to lugging your dd's stuff around you might be glad she stayed close-ish to London ;)

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/01/2026 16:46

HighStreetOtter · 01/01/2026 19:37

Kent is highly likely to get rid of more specialist/smaller number degrees as the merger goes ahead. Think they have done for languages and iirc a poster on here had a dc at Kent doing some sort of more specialised degree and recruitment for that degree was stopped when she was already a student.

yes they have to “teach the course out” but they can only do it to the extent that they have staff. And of course lecturers don’t hang around for three years when the writing is on the wall. So suddenly you’re halfway through a degree course and you find your only options are more mainstream physics ones as nobody is left who can teach astronomy or space science. It’s a possibility.

thats what happened to that Mumsnetters Dd, suddenly the modules she was expecting weren’t available.

Edited

This a hundred times....

It has to be her decision... But i would be putting all this info re Kent going bust in front of her...

Demotivated, upset staff leave.... This has a profound impact on the teaching /overall experience..

I once had to do a professional course at a failing uni... It was utter rubbish... No one gave a toss on staff as they were so run down by it all...

Blasterplaster · 02/01/2026 16:51

2chocolateoranges · 02/01/2026 12:23

Wow!, wow, wow!

our children do not belong to us, we do not make their choices for them, we trust that how we have supported and guided them growing up enables them to make valued choices and decisions in their life and for their future .

we believe that with the guidance and support we have given is a good solid foundation for them to make their own choices in life.

surely that’s what adults do?

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I have two children at uni who are fully funded by us. The third is old enough to go in 18 months. They currently want to do a 3rd rate degree at a 3rd rate uni, despite being the brightest in their school by a long way and never having got less than 91% in an exam. They can choose what they want to study and where, but if they go for their current idea they’ll be funding every penny themselves. We as parents are more experienced in life and should ensure our children don’t blindly make disasterous mistakes!

Nofksleft2give · 02/01/2026 16:53

MimiGC · 02/01/2026 16:02

OP - has your daughter visited Canterbury, Edinburgh and the other possible places? If not, I would strongly recommend it, as actually seeing the university and the cities can make all the difference. I know it’s expensive and time consuming, but it really is worth the investment.

Seconding this. The science campus in Edinburgh is no where near the centre of town where the hub of the university is. Depending on where students live it can involve quite a commute to reach every day.

Blasterplaster · 02/01/2026 16:57

BoredZelda · 02/01/2026 14:03

This is absolutely true for UoE. £140m cuts in the next two years. Large numbers of redundancies coming, teaching programmes cut and scaled back, a freeze on capital spending. A lot what is happening internally has been kept out of the press but it is a financial shitshow at the moment.

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This isn’t true at all! Billions of £ in investments at Edinburgh. Other unis have £0. Edinburgh proactively making savings to balance income to spending while other unis bury their heads in the sand. The University of Edinburgh is loaded, it’s just not stupid enough to think running at a loss year after year is a good idea - it’s not!