To think my DD should go to Edinburgh Uni instead of Kent?

[Girlypops154]

My DD has been accepted to Edinburgh to study Astrophysics and she has also been accepted to Kent University. We live outside of London and she says wants to be closer to home but I say she should go to Scotland because it’s a better university (she has also been accepted to St Andrews but we prefer Edinburgh). We are in a blessed position that we can afford the extra year up there. How do I get to change her mind as she has her mind now set on Kent but I really think going to an RG would be far better. She’s now getting annoyed at me because I keep insisting on Edinburgh. She has also been accepted to Durham and Aberystwyth but neither of them have got back to us yet. Any advice or am I being unreasonable? Thank you.

The vast majority don’t get the full loan though so rely on parents.

Edinburgh and certainly St. Andrews are highly rated. Imperial is top 3 I think behind Cambridge and Oxford.

Has she only just had the offer? My DC1 got a surprise offer from her highest ranking choice, and was initially quite meh about it. Because she hadn't really expected an offer she'd not looked into it all that much, and had allowed herself to get far more time than excited over her other choices. I wonder if your DD might have felt similarly - not wanting to let herself get too enthusiastic about a university that might nilt have made her an offer?

For my DC after it all sunk in and she did a bit more research she accepted the higher ranking university.

Well, it does as I imagine the OP will be paying for an awful lot towards rent and living expenses. I wouldn't be keen on shelling out loads for something that isn't going to be great.

It's an odd one uni, children who are adults but unless they can work and pay for it themselves need parents to pay for it. You bet your life I want some input into it!

Absolutely this! Your daughter is much more likely to cope with university if it’s a decision she made herself. Encouraging her to attend a university on the other side of the country when she would rather be nearer to home is crazy. The RG label does not make it a better university for an undergraduate degree. I have studied at two RG universities and two non-RG universities and the non-RG institutes were better in every way than the RG ones. Facilities were better, welfare services were better, the library was better, tutorial support was better. If your daughter goes to Kent and hates it then she will learn from this experience but it would have been her decision. I would actually encourage any young person these days to choose a university closer to home than not. If she hates it, it will be easier to manage by being able to travel home and she is more likely to make it work long-term.

I would also say (as an academic who works closely with employers) that no-one will give a stuff where her degree is from long-term. They will care that she is happy, confident and well-adjusted. Some of the non-RG institutions have better links with employers than the RGs. Programmes may be more vocationally focused which in these challenging times is a godsend. Let your daughter do what she wants to do. She will have her reasons.

Another option is a gap year and to reapply to local universities including all the great London ones. It’s okay if she has realised that being near to home is important to her. She doesn’t have to choose to have a better uni or be nearer to home. She could have both.

Did she or did you want her too?

I was forced to attend a VI form I hated, it was a complete waste of 2 years of my life, I was miserable and it put me off education for years.

My relationship with my parents was damaged and never really improved.

I finally went to uni in my 30s.

OP, also tell your Dd to compare the NSS results for the two courses. Not just student satisfaction scores but about stuff like graduate employment rates and earnings. See if she can find out stuff like staff to student ratio (though these aren’t always accurate nor up to date). I admit there is limitations with all the data but it may give a picture.

Search on the student room forum for any information she can find.

it’s all very well saying for an undergraduate that the RG status doesn’t matter. While yes I 100% agree that what research a university is involved in doesn’t affect an UG. The reputation of the course matters a lot, especially I would imagine in a technical field such as astrophysics and more so when there will be limited graduate opportunities in the sector.

DD goes to a RG uni studying a Masters STEM subject ranked 5th in the world. 2nd best in the U.K. and above Harvard. On day 1 the programme lead told the cohort that they would not struggle for jobs after finishing the course, that doors would open because of where they’d studied. She did her UG degree at a university with a similar ranking to Kent, because she wanted to stay at home due to her health. She says that the facilities and the support and teaching is like night and day. I accept this may not always be the case but I do think a university like Edinburgh will have more funding, more staff, quite possibly staff of a higher calibre, better facilities, better contacts with industry. It matters.

"St. Andrews is only prestigious because William and Kate went there". Give your head a wobble!

Not your decision. Back off.

DS chose college instead of uni which is his choice. He loves his course and was the best decision.

Leave young ones to find their own path.

YABU. It’s her life and her choice. You don’t get to convince her otherwise. Let her make her own choices and inevitably her own mistakes. By all means giver her your opinion but your decision making days are done

Well, she is right to be annoyed with you.

It is HER life and HER future, not yours.

I am just surprised that she wants to be nearer home with such a controlling mother.

My DD had offers from both Kent and Edinburgh. At the offers day (an additional open day for those with offers) I was talking to one of the tutors about her course and he said she should choose Edinburgh!

She had a great time there. We did have the advantage of grandparents in Fife which made it much easier to drive up there with her stuff and stay for a couple of days but apart from that she made much use of easyJet to come home occasionally which was cheaper and easier than the train (t the time). Edinburgh a great city to be in, she hardly ever caught a bus as everywhere she needed to be was in walking distance. Kent has a nice campus but it’s possibly rather isolating in the first year to be in that bubble and then I suppose students move into accommodation in Canterbury and have to bus into the campus everyday. It’s worth having a chat about that. Maybe go up to Edinburgh for a weekend and have some fun in the city. I recommend a roof top bus tour which we really enjoyed getting the geography of the city in our minds.

She had a great year in Vancouver as part of the course with some wonderful experiences. Is a year abroad a tempting option for your daughter?

of course at the end of the day it’s her choice.

I doubt even the full loan would cover everything anyway. Iirc full loan was about 10k ....and rent can easily be 6-8k in expensive areas (not London)

What a dickish remark.

There’s a lot of odd advice on here that you would not get on the HE board in quite the same way. All this “let her choose” is all very well but she’s probably 17 and is obviously still at school. This doesn’t give dc the full information or experience they need to make an informed choice. Making a poor choice can affect dc for many years because the jobs market is ludicrously competitive.

Many dc doing this subject will go into research. Therefore starting off at a top research university matters. The whole experience of this subject within the university matters. Looking at the rankings its average. Why accept average when you have 2 in the top 10 or Edinburgh at 15? It’s just a silly teenager not appreciating choices affect careers. That said, how keen is she on the subject? Not choosing the best suggests not fully engaged really.

Student satisfaction studies are a joke - tiny numbers reply. She needs to be with a strong cohort of scientists because this is an academic subject. What’s wrong with making new friends?

Parents are there to advise. Thst doesn’t stop at 17/18 and they provide a home and money for student dc. The full grant is £10,500 but most students don’t get that. Paying £7500 for rent leaves £3000 for everything else. Students can work in the long vacations! Most dc are happy to include parents in the decision-making process because they respect them. Plus they will almost certainly be paying. It’s immature, in this case, to want to stay at home - won’t friends go away to university? Is this some sort of pact playing out?

For those interested: the CUG puts Imperial at 7 for this subject but she’s not applied. A relative went to Aber for this subject and hated it. Far too quiet and remote. Edinburgh is completely different. She needs to think about city vs middle of nowhere too!

As a rule, English kids, even those with full loans, who aren’t expecting any financial support from parents, don’t even look at St. A’s or Edinburgh unless they are going to take a year out first. Both are notoriously expensive. OP says “they” can afford the extra year so it’s fairly likely she is financially backing her dd and this adventure is going to cost her £30-40k with her dd being able to borrow £30-40k in tuition fee loans and about £15k in minimum maintainance loan. Even if she didn’t like her she should be a bit interested in the decision.

Edin is massive and she might suit the smaller campus feel of Kent. It’s a great degree wherever she goes. You’ve said your view now let her decide. She’s clearly highly intelligent

@RavenPieI don’t know anyone who took a year out first before Scotland. That’s 5 years before graduating and well behind in the jobs market so no point in choosing Scotland. If the op can afford Scotland then there’s no need for a gap year. Durham at 3 years would be better though. Higher ranked and 3 years. Crack on with career.

I live in Kent, so on my local news a lot and personal experience. Personally the merger of Kent and Greenwich (as the stronger financial party) would appall me. Greenwich is shit. Always has been. It sounds as if those unis are all cities, rather than London or campus? So that's the commonality.

Talk to her about brands; would she be willing to pay the same for a pair of own brand trainers as a big brand? Uni is like this; you pay the same fees whether you are at a big, prestigious brand uni (like Durham) or a perfectly good, but lower ranking institution without the cachet. If she wants to be closer to home, and that's no bad thing, she needs to take a gap year and reapply to brands like UCL, Southhampton, Bath, Bristol and Oxbridge. She will regret that she could have done better.

It's absolutely her business when shes funding it.

It may not be her decision but it's definitely her business

Normally I'd say stay out of it/ encourage the young adult to make their own decisions. And ultimately, if she is absolutely dogged in this, then I would support her and hope for the best.

However, I have to agree that Kent would be a huge mistake. The uncertainty regarding the future of the university makes it a big risk and she could get a much higher quality and more reputable education elsewhere, as she is certainly qualified to do so.

Also, she has to have known that getting an offer at Edinburgh was also going to mean getting an offer at Kent - so if the distance mattered to her more than what the university has to offer (and she was always going to choose Kent in this circumstance) then why did she waste a choice by applying to Edinburgh at all? Does she also feel the same way about Durham and St Andrews?? It suggests she either hasn't thought about this much at all / doesn't understand the differences between the universities / is all over the place with her decisions.

As you will be financially supporting her I think she needs to show you the respect of carefully considering this decision. I'd also question whether she isn't prioritising academia / career prospects because she isn't that enthusiastic about astrophysics, and sees university as primarily a social experience. University is a great social experience but it's too expensive to be primarily about that. You are also not unreasonable to want to protect her, at 17, from making enormously expensive life altering mistakes (that you are helping to pay for!)

However, if she doesn't want to go really far from home, I would really listen to and respect that. It's a shame that she has wasted this year applying to universities she doesn't want to attend(!) but she also has the option of taking another year with grades in hand to apply for some different universities (with a bit more thoughtfulness).

Not really - it's a relatively small city and a student would have to navigate all of it.

Doing a science degree, she would spend much of her first year in George Square and the rest of the time at KB.

I would agree Edinburgh is probably a better uni for her subject/post grad employability and, according to press reports, Kent is facing significant financial issues which put both it and some of its departments at risk. Not sure if Physics is one of them, though. Think I read somewhere that it is merging with Greenwich Uni? Worth researching.

However, the decision has to be your DDs. Kent has great pastoral care, Canterbury is a beautiful and fairly safe town, student life is a great there as it is in Edinburgh.

What I would counsel her in your shoes is to wait to accept her places - she has months to do so - go to all/both the Open Offer days (they are more focused than the general open days, with the department staff pulling out the stops and often better tours of the accommodation blocks). You may find that you love Kent more and that once you have traipsed up to Edinburgh by train or the long haul drive that you would prefer her closer to home.

Ultimately it has to be down to which uni has the module options she is most interested in, which town she would feel safest and happiest in because - ultimately - it’a about her finishing her degree with the best possible grade. Being miserable in Edinburgh may not achieve that.