Court of Protection Process - how bad is it?

[ProcrastinatorsAnonymous]

I'm the only child of parents in their late 70s, who are doing absolutely nothing to get their affairs in order. The most pressing is Power of Attorney. They haven't set this up for me, or for each other. I believe that my father is the only named person on most if not all of their bills / policies etc, so I worry that if he loses capacity first, my mum will have a very hard time sorting anything out - and it will be extremely difficult for me to help her. Same with medical decisions - as it stands, I believe we would need to go through the Court of Protection.

It's not that they are refusing to do this. Rather, they agree wholeheartedly that they must and they will, but then... They just don't. I bring it up every 6-9 months or so. Every time: 100% buy in, zero action. My father's health is noticeably declining and so this is becoming increasingly urgent.

What does Court of Protection process involve? I'd be interested to hear from anyone who has been through it how long it took / how complex.

If they just won't / don't ever do Power of Attorney, who steps in to help them if I can't?

Am I being unreasonable to push them towards Power of Attorney? I feel like I am strong-arming them, but they have said that they do want to do it... I am increasingly anxious about how I will cope with grief alongside mounds of admin and call centres and "computer says no" and forms - and I'm frustrated that they're not doing something that could make things so much easier, particularly as I have no siblings and will be handling all of this on my own.

It’s very expensive! We had no choice as dsd has severe learning disabilities but it’s a longish process and annual reports plus annual fees. Power of attorney is so much better

@miamo12 Thanks for replying. Do you mind giving me a ballpark indication of how expensive? My father hates wasting money, so that might get through to him...!

Why dont you book a solicitor to come to their house with the lpa papers? Will be few hundred pounds and solicitor can explain it to them and process the power of attorney

And explain this is much cheaper than doung it later via court of protection route once they lost capacity

I've wondered about this, but a) I'm not sure if you're allowed, as if they don't initiate it, you might be forcing them? And b) I'm worried they'll feel ambushed.

You can do power of attorney online. Print off the forms off the gov website. It doesn’t cost much. Use a family friend or neighbour as a witness when you sign the forms. It’s fairly simple.

I would really push them to do a PA as its quite simple to set up they can do the paperwork themselves or you can fill it in for them and then they can sign it, trying to it after someone has lost capacity is a nightmare and takes ages and requires drs reports and adult social services reports and £0000s in legal bills

Forms are here. £92

www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

You can power of attorney yourself, with your parents , online for a nominal fee. It’s very straightforward . No need to pay solicitors

I really really want them to do the PA and am confident I could handle the form-filling (or use a solicitor), but I'm not sure how to make it ACTUALLY happen. It would almost be easier if they objected to it, as then I could try to persuade them... But they claim to be totally onboard with it, but then meet me with total passivity.

I guess the next step is to turn up with the forms myself - but I don't know if this is an acceptable thing to do? I don't want to force them if they actually have an issue with it but don't want to say. They have not yet lost capacity and really should be able to sort this out themselves.

Of course it is.

Just say I decided we better do this now it’s the new year/I saw it mentioned on line/bbc/ something they find reputable.

You don’t need a solicitor. Just sounds like it would be a lot easier for you to print it out if they aren’t savvy about stuff like that.

I think I will, but I'll tell them first that this is what I'm planning to do and give them some notice, otherwise I'm afraid they will feel ambushed.

My mum had power of attorney for my grandparents, once long before they got to old and ill to be able not to manage. It was easy and when my grandad passed last year easy for her to change everything and now she cares full time for my grandma with stage 3 dementia. I and my brother have it for pur parents when it will be needed in the future so to us just like a will sort it and it's easier in the future

Power of attorney is much easier and cheaper.
My parents flatly refused to do power of attorney. My sister had to apply for deputyship for my mum in September 2024 as mum lost capacity to make financial decisions prior to being admitted to a care home. It took around 8 months and cost thousands. You also need a report from a professional (social worker etc) that states they have lost capacity, it's a specific report they have to do. Then, there is the annual reporting and annual fees, you have to record absolutely everything and have to be able to show that you are using the money for the person you have deputyship for (so for example if my mum needs new clothes) It's not usual for a deputyship to be granted for health and welfare and the advise is not to bother applying for it as it's rarely granted. My dad died end of September, we hadn't applied for deputyship and though he had a will and a very small estate which made it easier, dealing with his affairs after he had a fall in April was an absolute nightmare and we've only just been able to transfer his money to my mum.

I signed for a friend as a witness to her adult daughters Power Of Attorney (POA) applications. The young adult (who I have also,known for a number of years) was there and I spoke to them to confirm they were happy and understood what their parents having POA meant and was confident they understood this and was happy to sign to this effect. I have also been through the process myself with my parent to apply for POA (myself and one of my siblings) and because of my friend having gone through it, it was not as daunting, and I did it on my own. It can take time though to pull all information together get witnesses to sign things , my parents neighbour witnessed my parent signing the paperwork etc. but I also had to have witnesses see me sign it and my sibling had to do the same. Took a few months but was all sorted eventually. As my parent gets pension credit the fee was waived (had to fill in another form and send in with evidence to support they received said benefit). Applied for both finance and health POA. It is important to sort this before one or both of your parents lose capacity though. It's important to discuss and ensure they are happy with what is being proposed.

I am totally sold on the importance of Power of Attorney - and my parents claim that they are too. But then it just... doesn't happen! I think I'm going to have to be more pushy and actually go down there with the paperwork printed out and put it in front of them.

8 months! That sounds horrific - I'm sorry you had all of that to contend with. I worry we're headed the same way...

I think you might have to do that. Since they've said they want to do it they might just be unsure about the process and worried about paying a solicitor.

Find nice solicitor who is willing to come to their house and talk them through process

My parents found age concern useful.

I think they get to an age where just getting through the day is hard enough, never mind anything complicated involving a solicitor. As long as they know who they want as attorneys and witnesses, I suggest you arrange to get everyone together at a solicitors office to sign and log the forms. So all your DPs have to do is turn up and sign. Not quite an ambush but more of a "Hey mum and dad, how about you let me organise this because it's clear you are both too busy and we can't let it drift". I've had to firmly "help" my DPs on a few things like this and whilst they noticed what I was doing they were still grateful for the help.

The initial stage is only to set the POA up ready for when it's needed, all the capacity assessments come later (potentially not much later in their case). But it's important the people still have capacity to set up the POA.

I’d print it and drop it off. Ask them to go through it and say why don’t you have a look and we can think of who would be best to be witness etc. I do think it’s often the thought of getting the paper work sorted that can feel daunting. But it’s actually pretty easy once you’ve printed it off. There isn’t massive amounts to fill in.

You could also do your own- do you have a partner or sibling? Mention you’re getting yours done too if needed so thought you’d print a bunch off…

My mum set up POA in favour of myself and sister after a spell in hospital. It wasn't enacted for several years until she lost capacity due to dementia. Would it reassure your parents to know that that they would not be loosing control/decision making until necessary.
Have you done your own too? (My sister and I and our respective partners have.) Maybe this would also help them move forward.

I’d agree that printing the forms out for both the PoAs for each of them and just appearing with them is by far the best approach. Fair enough to give them warning first. Also the process requires external support by an unrelated person who has known them I think 2 years and has some standing or profession (can’t exactly remember who, it’s like the passport photo signature but not as demanding I think). Have a think who they are most likely to feel supported by. If that does mean paying a solicitor so that they feel more comfortable, fine, but it’s not necessary. The typical ideal person, infuriatingly, would be the male professional partner of a trusted/admired neighbour or relative. But whatever it takes to get it done. I have been grateful my mother got the finance one, and regretful she wouldn’t do the health one, every day for 4 years.

What I did was do my own LPOA, which made my parents want one too. Prior to that they always talked about it but never got around to doing it. All the details need to be completed online then the whole thing printed and signed in the correct order, before sending to the OOTPG.

You can do both POAs easily and cheaply online.
I found that the only way to get my very elderly parents to cooperate was by guilt tripping; ie cancelling a holiday if they didn’t at least install a careline. Ditto carers, but dad cancelled them before they even started!
Can you tell them how worried you are and that you’re not sleeping well.. that it would give you so much peace of mind etc?
Maybe get the gov.uk website open and show them that the process is very easy? And cheap 🤞