Wwyd 14 year old NYE plans

[Mummabear888]

So I am unwell with Covid - Xmas has been a write off. Single mum to one so if I’m down it does ruin a lot.
dd has been invited out tomorrow basically her friend has invited some of them to join them at a family do at a pub about 5 mins away. This is a family pub and it’s not likely that they could be served alcohol. They let teens in until 11pm (on their licence) as they do games etc.

dd wants to go along with her friend on the basis the parents will be there (at least 2 of th girls parents will be there). If I was going it would be ok - but I’m not and I’m worried as with the best will in the world no one else will look out for her like I will. I’m considering saying she can stay till 10 then I’ll collect her. I know she will push back to stay until midnight but as much as I’d like to I’m wary people get massively pissed on NYE!
aibu - what are others thoughts
she is a sensible girl and I know she won’t drink but she is only 14 (15 in March) on a grown up environment!

It sounds family friendly, I’d let her go.

Let her go. A 10pm pick up sounds like a great compromise.

Will she be able to stay until midnight?

Does she have a mobile phone? Could you pick her up gone midnight? I’d let her stay if she is with family friends and drum into her to watch her drink and be sensible to refuse alcohol.

She can stay until midnight and I want her to but I’m just scared about others. It will be packed and whilst it’s 2 mins away you just can’t predict other adults! I want her to have the fun but I don’t want it to go wrong!

I’d let her go and just pick her up after or even better see if she can catch a lift back with one of her friends. If you’re worried tell her you want a text at a certain time to check in x

I know the parents will be there as that’s where they hang (there’s often a live band) but also just mindful it’s there NYE too and they shouldn’t have to be babysitting

It sounds fine to me

Do you think they will be bought drinks or sneak drinks from people?

what specifically are you worried about?

I would let her go and chat to the other parents beforehand about it. Find out what they think will happen.

Let her go, she needs to learn how to cope in environments with temptation, in pubs she’s unlikely to be able to be served because they would loose their licence, unlike house parties

It sounds fine to me, mine have done similar at that age ( I know the parents).

I’m not too worried about alcohol they definatly wouldn’t get served and she’s not bad with alcohol! She wouldn’t take of anyone else (drummed that into her head)
if anything I think it’s more likely her and her friends will find a buzzball to to share (I’m not condoning this I just know it happens). I’m more worried about other’s being pissed or a fight happening urs not a rough pub or anything though.
I do keep thinking it’s safer than her being at a house party!

It sounds like there will be a group of friends going so I would let her go and tell her to sticks with her friends all night, go to the loo together, keep an eye on drinks etc. Tell her to text you a couple of times throughout the night.

I would definitely let her go.

Check with other parents that they are happy to keep an eye.

I’m not sure this comment is helpful or supportive. Circumstances around the girl’s father are not the topic of the thread.

Oh go and do one will you

Extremely uncalled for.

What are you concerned about here? We took DS's friend out with us for New Year's last year. He stayed at ours afterwards. We had a fantastic night in the local pub together. We sat and played board games and laughed and danced and sang. Him and DS are under 18, no alcohol was given to them, but it was good for them to get out, do something different and not be attached to phones all night.

Do you not know the parents of the friend? We are good friends with the parents of this friend of DS's so they knew he was in safe hands.

When you say she’s not bad with alcohol, do you mean she drinks?

I think she'll be fine. Let her go and have a fun time with her friend. Her friend's parents will keep an eye on them, as will otherpeoplein the pub. NYE is usually the safest night because its all ticketed these days.

Look, if you were out on NYE and you saw some young teen girls getting pestered, you'd tell the pesterer to fuck off, wouldn't you? Most people are decent and will step in to protect kids.

Hope you feel better soon.

Message or better than that, talk to the other parents and measure their response about keeping an eye on dd. At that age I’m sure she’s no trouble!

Then maybe check in every half hour with dd and if she doesn’t respond tell her you’ll turn up! All being well collect her at 12.30?

Even better, can you also go with a mate?

It's a family event and the pub will be being extra hot on alcohol etc because of their licence and not wanting to alienate families in the future

It's not a nightclub or some seedy backstreet pub

She's 14

Relax

It’s a family party. It’s going to be fine and I don’t think she needs picking up at 10pm. The whole point of NYE is staying up until midnight.

Yes, there will be adults drinking but that’s also the case at an evening wedding reception, a big family birthday party, a silver wedding bash etc, and people take teenagers to those events in pub function rooms etc all the time without anything happening to them. When I was 14 my best friend came to my sister’s wedding reception in the evening so I had someone my own age around to keep me company.