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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wwyd 14 year old NYE plans

69 replies

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 22:26

So I am unwell with Covid - Xmas has been a write off. Single mum to one so if I’m down it does ruin a lot.
dd has been invited out tomorrow basically her friend has invited some of them to join them at a family do at a pub about 5 mins away. This is a family pub and it’s not likely that they could be served alcohol. They let teens in until 11pm (on their licence) as they do games etc.

dd wants to go along with her friend on the basis the parents will be there (at least 2 of th girls parents will be there). If I was going it would be ok - but I’m not and I’m worried as with the best will in the world no one else will look out for her like I will. I’m considering saying she can stay till 10 then I’ll collect her. I know she will push back to stay until midnight but as much as I’d like to I’m wary people get massively pissed on NYE!
aibu - what are others thoughts
she is a sensible girl and I know she won’t drink but she is only 14 (15 in March) on a grown up environment!

OP posts:

Original poster

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:22

Crimblecrumble1990 · 30/12/2025 23:21

Sounds like she will have a good time. I would ask her to check in with you during the night and let her know she can contact you to get collected at any time. I expect the parents are more than happy to keep an eye on her along with their child.

There’s a fair few of them going now and around 3 sets of parents! One said they would bring her back but I just don’t trust it. I think as someone said I’ll have to go with my gut -

OP posts:

Walkerzoo · 30/12/2025 23:25

I would let her go
And if a parent has offered to bring her back I would say ok.

At that age they could be doing a lot worse

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 23:25

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:19

I do know what you mean though as this was my worry. I do t think another parent will look out for her whilst I will and 14 is so young!

im trying to get her and her friends to come back 2 hours earlier and have a sleepover if not I’ll have to go up there!

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You think your DD's friends parents wouldn't give a crap about your DD and wouldn't bother keeping an eye on her?

Seriously?

ConfusedCarly · 30/12/2025 23:26

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:21

I think 10 would be my limit without me there! I always make her take a charger out!

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Okay I totally understand that
I would say offer a earlier time then scale up to 10 so she think she has got to the latest she can be
I know not all mums like to do this but I think it is your best way of staying out of a argument x

Original poster

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:27

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 23:25

You think your DD's friends parents wouldn't give a crap about your DD and wouldn't bother keeping an eye on her?

Seriously?

Show quote history

I didn’t say they wouldn’t give a crap - but she’s not their child and they will be drinking

OP posts:

Original poster

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:27

ConfusedCarly · 30/12/2025 23:26

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I think that is. Really good idea lol!

OP posts:

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/12/2025 23:33

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:27

I didn’t say they wouldn’t give a crap - but she’s not their child and they will be drinking

Show quote history

But you are suggesting they don't care and wouldn't pay attention

Which is a pretty shitty thing to suggest tbh

Shedeboodinia · 30/12/2025 23:33

Sounds fine if you know some of the adults. Can you ask for one of the adults numbers that they will be with and just message them before to say, heres my number I just wanted you to have it in case of emergency or dd loses her phone.

Toothfairy89 · 30/12/2025 23:34

I think at 14 this is absolutely fine. It's a family friendly pub, multiple parents and a group of her friends. Personally I would let her stay till midnight and then collect her or let friends parent drop her back

14 is old enough to navigate a family disco at a pub alone, the adults have their own Dc there so are unlikely to all be riotous. Nothing much is going to change brtween 11pm and 12pm other than her missing midnight!

MissSophiaGrace · 30/12/2025 23:36

She's old enough to go out with friends and their parents surely? I'm not understanding the angst. She has a phone, she has other adults with her and pub staff (who won't be drinking alcohol).

Original poster

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:38

Shedeboodinia · 30/12/2025 23:33

Yeah I have messaged her I’m just mindful it’s her New Year’s Eve too!

OP posts:

Original poster

Mummabear888 · 30/12/2025 23:40

MissSophiaGrace · 30/12/2025 23:36

She's old enough to go out with friends and their parents surely? I'm not understanding the angst. She has a phone, she has other adults with her and pub staff (who won't be drinking alcohol).

It’s more that it’s a pub setting and I just worry about others more - for example a strange drunk guy or something but I am 2 mins away, 3 sets of parents there. Have agreed they are coming back here at 10pm and can see the new year in with her 3 mates here - they are quite happy with this as stranger things is on at 1am thankfully

OP posts:

ActiveTiger · 30/12/2025 23:45

Sorry she doesn't drink regularly but she's 14 and your clearly allowing it elsewhere, so wrong...Anyhow our 14 year old is doing exactly this going with family and friends to a pub at 7 and hubby is picking her up at 10:30 so we can bring the new year in together as a family with her brothers and sisters. 14 does not need to be babysat there not tiny and know very well as do family under 18 means no alcohol anyway. Let her get out and have fun

Houseforsaleapplywithin · 31/12/2025 00:00

I would but would pick up at 10 myself, wouldn’t want her getting a lift back and not after midnight, but I’m quite paranoid!
Picking her and her friends up at 10 to bring back for a sleepover sounds perfect

Original poster

Mummabear888 · 31/12/2025 00:09

ActiveTiger · 30/12/2025 23:45

im not allowing it have a read PROPERLY or don’t bother making crappy judgements

OP posts:

2O25 · 31/12/2025 01:14

You mentioned you are sick with COVID. If you pick up her and her friends, would you be exposing them to COVID?

Original poster

Mummabear888 · 31/12/2025 01:46

BauhausOfEliott · 30/12/2025 22:49

It’s a family party. It’s going to be fine and I don’t think she needs picking up at 10pm. The whole point of NYE is staying up until midnight.

Yes, there will be adults drinking but that’s also the case at an evening wedding reception, a big family birthday party, a silver wedding bash etc, and people take teenagers to those events in pub function rooms etc all the time without anything happening to them. When I was 14 my best friend came to my sister’s wedding reception in the evening so I had someone my own age around to keep me company.

Been testing negative for 5 days now but have the after effects

OP posts:

blankcanvas3 · 31/12/2025 10:30

I know you think that because the other girl’s parents are drinking they won’t give a crap about your daughter and won’t keep an eye - for years I’ve had DS’s friends over on NYE for our annual party and I always keep an eye on them, so does DH, even after a drink! I think your comprise sounds good and you should definitely get her go x

PurpleThistle7 · 31/12/2025 10:37

I would be fine with this and I’m super over protective. Sounds like a great option and there will be actual adults in charge - if the staff are allowing teens they are taking some level of responsibility for the behaviour of their guests. I think it sounds great and wouldn’t make my daughter leave early unless it was for a lift (wouldn’t let her make her own way home)

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