Wwyd 14 year old NYE plans

[Mummabear888]

So I am unwell with Covid - Xmas has been a write off. Single mum to one so if I’m down it does ruin a lot.
dd has been invited out tomorrow basically her friend has invited some of them to join them at a family do at a pub about 5 mins away. This is a family pub and it’s not likely that they could be served alcohol. They let teens in until 11pm (on their licence) as they do games etc.

dd wants to go along with her friend on the basis the parents will be there (at least 2 of th girls parents will be there). If I was going it would be ok - but I’m not and I’m worried as with the best will in the world no one else will look out for her like I will. I’m considering saying she can stay till 10 then I’ll collect her. I know she will push back to stay until midnight but as much as I’d like to I’m wary people get massively pissed on NYE!
aibu - what are others thoughts
she is a sensible girl and I know she won’t drink but she is only 14 (15 in March) on a grown up environment!

Every half an hour would be way too much

I think it sounds like a Pleasant and safe way for a young teenager to spend New Year’s Eve. I’d be pleased she had been invited.

You said you’re sure she won’t drink but then said she might??

What did it say?

Definitely let her go!

No sge doesn’t drink regularly but. Has tried it and then told me! That was the wirst case scenario

Well iv checked with other girls parents and they are happy to keep an eye - I’ll then collect her and 2 others at 11 for a sleepover here
thanls for all your comments sometimes I don’t know if I’m being crazy or if I’m being too strict!

Thats not very old. She's a vulnerable young girl and there's some horrible and weird people around today.

I’m always prepared for what my daughter tells me and then the worst case around what might actually happen! I know they 100% wouldn’t get served if they tried, o know she wouldn’t take a drink of anyone else there - I also know that in the past one of them has got hold of a few buzzbals and they have shared that! So in my head that’s the worst case scenario. I have the chats with her I don’t condone her drinking alcohol I go on and on about it and I hope that are listens!
I also know the things I did as a teenager. As someone pointed out in this thread less chance of her drinking here than at a house party

Its what you feel comfortable with, not what others think.

Hope she has a nice time.

I’m just getting over Covid but I’m thinking I’ll go up from 9pm just cos I worry about others more than anything

14 is old enough to be at a pub with family friends without worrying so much

14, 18, 20, 40... there are weird and horrible people around

I’d let her go, will the friend’s parents bring her home if she stays until midnight?
She’ll have her phone also and can call if she isn’t happy.
I actually think being in a pub with adults around is safer than being in a house party full of teens

I think it sounds fine. And have a plan for early finish if dd isnt enjoying it. Eg send you a message and you will call with an excuse for her to leave early.

Oh do get over yourself

Yes but the older you are the better equipped you are to deal with it.

20 is different to 14 anyway the Op has sorted it now.

A 14 year old with her friends and their family in a family friendly pub is a good way to start learning about dealing with being around drunks

I would let them stay til midnight

It sounds fun to me. I’d give her the option of staying til midnight if she’s enjoying it

Well obviously I do care so that’s crap!
it’s literally marketed as a family disco and it’s a family establishment with licensing that reflects that.
her friends are nice people as are their parents which is why I’m considering this.
happy for people to have their views but not very nice to be saying crap about her parents not caring about her !

I would say you should drop her off and pick her up at 12 but I think she should be allowed till 12 as it seems quite safe
Just make sure you have one of the parents phone numbers if her phone dies etc
You don’t want to end the year in a fall out

I do know what you mean though as this was my worry. I do t think another parent will look out for her whilst I will and 14 is so young!

im trying to get her and her friends to come back 2 hours earlier and have a sleepover if not I’ll have to go up there!

Sounds like she will have a good time. I would ask her to check in with you during the night and let her know she can contact you to get collected at any time. I expect the parents are more than happy to keep an eye on her along with their child.

I think 10 would be my limit without me there! I always make her take a charger out!