To go on holiday without him?

[Flymeaway5]

I work for an airline, so we get our flights cheap and its saved us a tonne of money over the years. On the downside, we only get on if there's space, so holidays need to be planned quite last minute, need a bit of flexibility etc.

I've been planning for us to go away after Christmas for a week, about the busiest time of year. Was planning the far east, but the flight got full last minute, so I've been scrambling to find an alternative. It's taken hours of research (flights, flights with onward connections, hotels etc), all whilst packing for me and kids. Now husband says he won't go. He says it's been postponed too much, he doesn't want more than 1 flight and he won't go all that way unless it's in business class (we'd be in premium economy I think).

I'm livid. He does no work towards planning and packing whatsoever, so cancelling means nothing to him.

Shall I just go without him? Means a holiday just me and 3 kids.

Is there anyone else who could go with you? Someone who would help with the DC in exchange for a very cheap holiday?

I would be tempted to go alone…

Because there are lots of direct flights to Mexico.

Wow he’s being a bit of a brat isn’t he! Mexico with 3 kids isn’t the end of the world and shocker he won’t do less than business. Go with the 3 kids, I have a feeling they’ll do better without him there

Exactly this. I would hate that last minute anxiety after a busy Christmas. But equally wouldn’t blame you to go alone.

YABU to expect him to go though.

You must have more energy than me OP. Three young children and wanting a long haul holiday straight after Christmas (and all the prep and work that goes into December!).

I just want to collapse on the sofa. I trip to Mexico doesn’t sound relaxing to me with 3 kids. Long flight, disrupted bedtimes, no home comforts, days in and out of pools. No thanks (yes I realise I’m a miserable git but I also have three young kids and I’m on my knees).

Could It be that you’re feeling more up for it as you’re on mat leave, and husband is working and just wants to chill?

Honestly I know I was joking, but why can’t you go somewhere in the UK?

I’m desperate to go to the Cairngorms and there are some lovely family friendly hotels there, plus a reindeer herd, mountain railway, winter sports, swimming in heated pools etc. Or somewhere like Crieff hydro?

www.britanniahotels.com/hotels/coylumbridge-hotel-aviemore?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Accord_Search_Keyword_Coylumbridge%20Aviemore%20Hotel%20-%20EXACT_NA&utm_id=1668012137&utm_term=britannia%20coylumbridge&utm_content=64033267665&utm_source_platform=Google+Ads&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=1668012137&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0oK1lZHmkQMV7JFQBh3tCBZHEAAYAiAAEgIBBfD_BwE

Or what about Center Parcs for a midweek break or a long weekend (you actually get nigh on 4 days if you book a long weekend as you can arrive early on Friday and leave mid-afternoon on Mondsy). Lovely winter lights, brilliant kids activities and crèche, pool and prices drop like a stone once the schools are back. I thought I’d hate it but we had some of the best holidays there when my kids were similar ages.

https://www.centerparcs.co.uk/breaks-we-offer/search.html/2/WF,LF/12-01-2026/4/-/-/2/2/0/2/1/0/N

Honestly, it was a very toxic trait my dad had- spoiling most holidays (until my mum divorced him). Giving your DH the benefit of the doubt, maybe he just couldn’t face the flights or deal with the chopping and changing. Still, no reason to give up completely.

I'm Team Husband. This all sounded very stressy, before you even mentioned the number and ages of your children.

We're very used to flying/airports. I do it for a living, kids (baby excluded) have done several long and short haul flights already and loved it. I do understand its not so easy if you're not used to it though.

We've been very lucky to have had business on all those flights though (except 1 and it was daytime and only middle east). I was looking at connecting flights to get the longer stretch in business, but he didn't want to do that. I've found direct flights with space, but only (!) in premium economy and back a day later, so we may get a fine from school. He still doesn't like that either.

You're right, he is being a spoiled brat and now we're all missing out. I'm so mad

The more you write, the more I agree with your husband.

What's stressy about a week in the sun, all inclusive, flying premium economy direct each way?! He does nothing to help plan it either, I do it all and pack it all, he just hand me a pile of his clothes.

And even if it is and i just don't get stressed by that the same way he does, then why wait til I've spent hours researching and more hours packing to tell me that?! Bags are currently still all packed, as I can't face unpacking them now.

Is there only one school age child?
This is not going to get easier.

You could have got on a plane every day of your life but it doesn't make the plane go faster. A long haul flight for 7 days is crackers. Put your kids first, take them somewhere local where they're not stuck on a plane for hours on end.

You'd rather waste 3k than manage 3 dc alone?
Wow.

Your dh is being annoying but no way I’d fancy a long haul flight for just a week with three such young children. I’d keep the long haul for when I could go for at least 12ish days

Would a week in the canaries not be a better plan?

even if your kids are good fliers, are they good with jet lag too? I doubt it.

I'm stressed just reading about it all.

Good point about jet lag, if OP wants to drag them all to Mexico. So, back to school and the new year, feeling like shite!

He’s being a knob. He knows how this game works!!

You're right, he is being a spoiled brat and now we're all missing out. I'm so mad

But that is not what most people are saying.

The way you asked the question is confusing the vote.
I am one of (the majority) who voted YANBU, because, when I voted, I voted that don't think it is unreasonable to take dc on holiday without your dh.
HOWEVER I think the idea of THIS holiday is bonkers. As do most people.

Most people who have replied have said they are with your dh.
It is a ridiculous idea to go away like that.

How do you manage 3 children of those ages alone on a plane? What happens when one wants the toilet?

And what happens when YOU need the toilet?!

I’d go just to make a point of he doesn’t get to dictate.

Take the oldest and the baby?

Take the baby. He can explain to the oldest. Who won’t get a beach either way.

I already said several posts ago that I won't be going just me and the kids. I'd love to be the kind of person who could handle that, but I'm not, the logistics just won't work. But I stand by it being a great holiday for our family, had he not bailed at the last minute. It might not work for your families, but our kids love getting on a plane, as do many other I know (this is tried and tested already, so its not a concern).

When baby's in a sling I can go to the loo fine?!