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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you'd spend time with your kids if you weren't related to them

34 replies

Pavementworrier · 30/12/2025 10:42

As teens/adults I mean, obviously it would be weird and creepy to want to spend time with a random toddler

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 30/12/2025 10:44

Ds and I practice a sport together, so yes probably we would.

Ponoka7 · 30/12/2025 10:46

If I worked with my youngest, as opposed to being related to her, we'd be friends. I could mix with my middle one in short doses, I'dgo for her birthdaydrinks etc. My eldest, I'd avoid. My eldest's partner, is obnoxious and a sociopath.

tilypu · 30/12/2025 10:47

I absolutely would. I really enjoy their company.

The more pertinent question is, would they spend time with me? 😂

Octavia64 · 30/12/2025 10:49

One yes one no.

to be fair one is going through a particularly tricky patch.

Echobelly · 30/12/2025 10:49

Yes, I enjoy my teens' company a lot. Yesterday, despite being teens, they were messing around sliding down the stairs on a cardboard box, they're a lovely paur of nutters 😄

EveryKneeShallBow · 30/12/2025 10:49

Absolutely I would. They are very special people and it’s not just me that says so. They are some of my best friends.

tilypu · 30/12/2025 10:51

Echobelly · 30/12/2025 10:49

Yes, I enjoy my teens' company a lot. Yesterday, despite being teens, they were messing around sliding down the stairs on a cardboard box, they're a lovely paur of nutters 😄

Brilliant! They sound great.

Brianthepug · 30/12/2025 10:58

Yes. My daughters are adults and I love their company. My youngest is my travel buddy, so we plan trips together.

Isekaied · 30/12/2025 11:02

I wouldn't spend time with unrelated teens regardless of their interests

aterriblefish · 30/12/2025 11:03

Adult dd - almost certainly not. In terms of social interests and behaviours, seems the apple fell a very long way from the tree. In any other setting, I doubt we would engage at all.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 30/12/2025 11:28

My kids are teenagers and young adults and they make me laugh in a way nobody else I know does.

I always told the kids "I'm your mother, not your friend" when they complained about some safety/ homework/ screen time etc. rule not being fun or whatever, and when she turned 18 DD asked if we could be friends now that she is an adult and I don't have to tell her what to do any more 😝😊

DD and I have been on weekends/ short breaks just the two of us since she's been an adult and have some interests in common - she doesn't live at ours any more but we meet up the same way friends do from time to time, as well as her coming here and just crashing on the sofa and asking what's for dinner in a kid way sometimes.

It's a little bit trickier with my boys - I love spending time with them, they're incredibly funny and knowledgeable about the things they're interested in, including nowadays knowing more than me about certain current affairs issues which it's really interesting to talk to them about - but I'm not sure they'd hang out with me if I wasn't their mum - after all there's no other context in which late teen boys hang out with women in their 50s 😂 unless we worked together I guess, but there are no employees under 25 in my department and they couldn't work there really so that's also hard to imagine atm - I think they'd be polite and friendly but I don't think they'd be socialising after work. That's just the demographic though - it's not a fair question really... I have found it trickier to move out of the parent -child dynamic with my young adult son than I did with DD at the same age, which I need to work on, but they're very different people.

PermanentTemporary · 30/12/2025 11:29

Maybe not with ds - we don’t really have any interests in common. But if I saw him randomly chatting with his friends I’d wonder who he was and want to know him better, especially if I heard him laugh. He has the best, best laugh.

Almostwelsh · 30/12/2025 11:31

I would like to, but I'm not sure a teenager would want to spend time with a random middle aged woman.

Flickaflock · 30/12/2025 11:31

I’m just not sure how a scenario like that would come about? I don’t spend time one on one with any teenagers that I’m not related to.

Buttcraic · 30/12/2025 11:35

Very sadly, no i dont think so. She takes after her dad and i think my personality grates on her. (You'd have to ask him as to why he married someone he despised 🤷‍♀️).

StephensLass1977 · 30/12/2025 11:35

I've thought this before. I've also thought it about my siblings.

My son, absolutely yes. I raised him to be polite and courteous. He literally helps elderly people across the road. He also teaches something I used to be very good at in my school years but would be awful at now, and I would definitely approach him for lessons.

Siblings, yes but in smaller doses! 😁

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 30/12/2025 11:38

Definitely, she's really cool and we have a lot of similar interests.

Endofyear · 30/12/2025 11:49

Yes definitely, they're my favourite people in the whole world ☺️ two of our sons are coming over today, they're going to cook dinner for us all and we're going to watch the football. I love that they still want to hang out with us even though they're all adults with busy lives!

InterestedDad37 · 30/12/2025 11:54

I wouldn't know them I guess, but they're absolutely delightful, and I reckon their dad must be a top fella!

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 30/12/2025 12:05

My eldest-nope.
Twin one-small doses.
Twin 2-in bigger doses.
Dd- yep.

Stillupatmidnight · 30/12/2025 12:07

Yeah love ‘em, they’re a good laugh.

Whosthetabbynow · 30/12/2025 12:10

Yes! They make me laugh

Holluschickie · 30/12/2025 12:11

Yes absolutely. They are both fantastic, fun and interesting.

StrangewaysHereWeCome · 30/12/2025 12:13

Yes, I enjoy their company, but in different ways. One is very lively and vibrant and brings me out of my shell. The other is thoughtful and introspective and we have lots of shared interests, particularly art, music and books.

blankcanvas3 · 30/12/2025 12:13

Yep! He’s so funny and we have a lot in common