Friend is pregnant from a casual fling and I’m worried

[Namechangeragainn]

My friend has a really complicated relationship history. She is in her mid 20s. She has a diagnosis of EUPD and she’s quite obsessive about men.

She went out with our mutual friend in college but he ended things with her as she was quite demanding of him - she tried to walk into the road in front of him to get hit by a car when he said he didn’t want to spend the weekend with her. She also also threatened harm to herself various times.

She recently met our mutual friend on a night out and they slept together. She has now told me she is pregnant. I’ve said I will support her in her decision, but she is saying things to me like the father will now want to be with her and is looking for houses for “the 3 of them”.

Mutual friend has told me that she told him over a text message that she was pregnant and that she wants them to proceed as a family. He said he’ll be supportive of the child but he doesn’t want a relationship. He’s been dating a girl for 3 months!

Friend has said that she was on the pill but it “just happened”. She said that she slept with a “few” people around the conception date but she is sure it’s our mutual friends.

She still lives with her mum and sisters who are young teens. I’m struggling to support her - I think she’s intentionally done this and it’s a very unstable environment for her and her unborn child. I’m worried she will fall apart when she realises that our mutual friend won’t leave his new girlfriend for her.

I have no idea what to advise her but I’m actually a bit annoyed with her! Aibu?

@Namechangeragainn

There is really nothing you can do as far as getting her to see the truth. So stop trying. I don't mean to agree with her 'fantasy', but try not to engage with her about it. If she says something, gently say "I don't see that happening" and try to change the subject. Don't try to argue with her or 'speak the truth' in plain terms.

Chances are the day will come when the truth hits her square in the face. If you can manage to walk that line with her you'll be able to be a real support. She will be able to lean on the fact that you always told her the truth and that can lead to acceptance.

You will also be able to keep an eye on her and the baby and intervene if it seems necessary.

Just leave her to it. You don't sound like you like her much, you can't help the situation, you're just adding to the drama.

I think you have to realise and then accept that this has nothing to do with you at all.

these are adults and it’s not your life. Step back and focus on yourself.